TEAM Gaki presents:
Timing/Typesetting: Sacro
Translation: Mickstar
Final checker: James
The Battle
The Full Version
So we were talking about doing this
We were talking about which side these three should be on
Yes we were
And with our mascot, Yamasaki-san...
Thank you very much
Good luck to you on that
Well I am the mascot
and an enemy?
To be honest...
Yes I am your enemy as well
When the hell did you become our mascot?
I personally
would like to join Matsumoto-san's side
Apparently, he wants to join my team this time
Oh really?
Do Cocorico want to as well?
We also want to join um... Matsumoto-san's team
You haven't got anything to say?
No, not at all
What is with his confidence?
I know, it's making me nervous
He is really confident
Okay then, we will join his side
By all means, go ahead
Okay let's go
And so
Yup
We were thinking of what we should do this time
I see
The suggestions so far were... what was it?
Bowling
Yes, bowling
So we do bowling, and you just bowl normally but...
Okay
us fourwill throw four balls at the same time
us four will throw four balls at the same time
Yes
But the lane is like this thin, will you four be able to do that?
Well um...
Yeah I'm sure we can
Yeah we can
Like somehow...
It's perfect
Oh yeah, we can do it like this
No no, there isn't that much width!
This is about right
I'm sure we will fit
Is it about this wide?
It is
No no no no...
You will be hanging off the sides, are you sure you're okay?
No no, so we will be like...
We will be fine
Hamada vs Team Matsumoto
Special Bowling Battle
Confirmed!
And hence, a 4 vs 1 special bowling match was decided
Who will win the battle to decide the Batsu game's participants?
The first annual Gaki no Tsukai chikki chikki
Hamada vs Matsumoto, Cocorico and other
Unprecedented 4 vs 1
special bowling battle!
For the first time in ages, I am not alone
Oh yeah, that's true
Well I guess there are times when it's better to be on your own
Is that so?
But today I will try my best with Cocorico and other.
We will try our best!
Let's win, guys
Let's seriously try our best
But however you look at these guys,
they're just pieces of crap
You're right
They're just a shadow of crap
A shadow comedian at best
Why?
Anyway, everyone
Take a look at this
This time as well
There are people holding up placards from the crowds
There are placards?
There are people holding up placards from the crowds
Aww, I'm very grateful for that
Prematurely balding turkey hunter
Tanaka Naoki
Tanaka...
Prematurely balding turkey hunter
They definitely have no intention of supporting me
No way.
And Endo is..?
Let it out! Bonito thrower from Shikoku
Endo Shouzou
Get rid of it
I would but I got nothing else in terms of support
And myself, what does it say?
The black magician by the lane
Matsumoto Hitoshi
A magician
What the hell is that?
That's quite cool
That's annoying
And next...
Your one is the only nice one
What does Hamada's say?
GO! Pervert strike comedian
Hamada Masatoshi
Go
Pervert strike comedian
Pervert strike comedian...
That's a bit of a shock
Yamasaki-san
Yes
The gutter comedian that Nishinomiya gave birth to
The gutter comedian that Nishinomiya gave birth to:
Yamasaki Hosei
Give me a break, man, seriously.
They're not supporting us at all
And the whole "Matsumoto, Cocorico and other" thing too...
First annual Gaki no tsukai arahende!!
Hamada vs Matsumoto Cocorico and others
Unprecedented 4 vs 1 Special Bowling Battle!!
Yeah I can understand that
How long are they going to do that for as well?
I don't know...
But if you moan about that kind of thing too much
They might erase the "other" part completely...
4 vs 1 special bowling battle
Rules are same as normal bowling
Matsumoto's team must throw all 4 balls at the same time
1 game - Whoever has more pins wins
Loser(s) participates in the Batsu Game
Normal bowling rules. But Matsumoto's team must bowl all 4 balls
at the same time.
We will now start with the first throw ceremony
Tournament director
Suga Kenji: Producer
So please give a warm welcome to this person
Who?
Let's move over here
Heipo
Oh bloody hell
He's so small
What the hell is he doing here?
We don't care, man...
Go on then
You have to do it when Hamada-san is looking at you!
HEIPO DOKKIRI (trick)!
Man that was shit
Complete success!
It didn't succeed at all
It really didn't
Even if you thought you had to do it...
I wasn't even watching!
Hamada-san was facing the other way
He was looking this way
I guess you're the type of person who can only get shocked
So true
I guess you're the type of person who can only get shocked
Well anyway, it's a first throw ceremony
So please do it well!
We're counting on you!
You never know, Heipo might be good at bowling
That's true
Is this old guy for real?
Okay then, here I go.
Go for it
We're counting on you seriously.
And we're finished here...
Thank you very much
Thank you...
Try your best and good luck
Thank you
Next up
Just for this battle
They came all the way from America
North Carolina Phoenixes
The National Number 1 cheerleaders have come just for us
Seriously?
Here they are
Are they actually?
Obviously not
They're not, right?
They're obviously not number 1 in America
Okay we get it...
We totally understand...
Simply put, it's the girl with the glasses which I found hilarious
She's definitely not the type to be a cheerleader
Anyway, today
Yup!
Due to the disadvantage I have in numbers
Apparently there's a coach just for my team
Wait, what... What are we meant to do then?
No no, you just figure it out yourselves...
We don't get a coach?
We don't apparently
If you could just try and figure it out yourselves...
Something's wrong here...
It's the professional bowler Ooyama Yukari-san, welcome!
Wait, she is going to be your coach?
Yeah, it's her for real
Nice to meet you
I have seen her somewhere before
Hamada's coach is someone who has won a lot of tournaments
Ooyama Yukari
Nationally ranked 6th
Her name is Ooyama Yukari
Let's check out how good she really is
We're going to get to witness her get a split
Can she do that?
Well of course
She's a professional, after all
Even if she gets a strike
Of course
She's a professional; she should be getting these
Oh wow
Oh hang on, this looks good, this looks good
She's got it
Don't get me wrong, it is amazing but...
as soon as she threw it, she was like "This looks good, this looks good"
Practice Time
From here on, they split up and practice for the match
Damn this one is heavy
Two days ago, I did this
Bowling?
You know, with everyone
My whole body hurts like hell
Just to hold it
It feels so heavy
Are you going to be okay?
Yup, I'm going to win!
So from here...
like this
Yep
That's about right
This will be
This will be really tough
You're right
I see
See? Look.
That one
That's the one?
Let's go with that one
I've decided on that ball
Let's go with that one
From about here?
Can we like squeeze up a bit more?
Like this?
Ready, steady
This is impossible
Because I can't
even throw the ball, I doubt I will be able to...
I'm like this...
Yeah same here...
Yeah me too
I'm already in the gutter
I thought we were bowling normally so I swung the ball back
and the ball hit my knee hard
Really?
We can't swing the ball back at all
But seriously
We can't do this movement
It's just like this
It's impossible for sure
Maybe we should try once?
You guys ready?
He's already asking us
He's asking us
I've been waiting for ages
We're good to go
We're fine
Ready anytime...
You sure?
Yes
We're good to go
Okay then, let's do it
Yes
The battle finally starts
Who will win the special bowling battle?
First: Hamada
Second: Team Matsumoto
Hamada will bowl first; Team Matsumoto will bowl second
Hamada's first throw is a very important one.
1st Frame
Here we go then
Oh man, this is good
Two more
But still...
If he gets a spare here...
That would be bad...
It woule be really bad for us
It would be real bad if he got it
Yeah...
First frame 2nd throw
He got it
Shit
Shit, man!
This is bad, man!
For real?
This is our first ever throwing as a four
That's true
Just ready, steady, throw...
We haven't even been given time to practice
That's right
The four didn't practise at all during the practice session
How will their first throw go?
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
Get closer
Go that way more
I can't
I'm already in the gutter
If we go straight
This is bad, man
Oh man, I'm worried now
Please go that way a bit more
Hurry the hell up already!
Please wait a minute
Think about this, if we lose
I know
He will really get us if we lose this
I'm begging you guys
That's what scares me
Come on
Seriously guys
If we muck around, we could get hurt
The bowling centre has allowed them to bowl like this; please do not try this at home
You're right
Let's do it properly
Here we go
Everyone make yourselves smaller
Smaller
Get smaller
Okay
Right, here we go
Ready, steady
Okay okay okay
Look, look, look
The green one...
Oh shit, this is a strike!
Get it!
YEEEAAAHHH!!!!
Come on!
Yes!!
We can win!
Amazing!
This is amazing!
Who threw the last ball?
The red one?
Amazing!
That was fantastic
I didn't think it would go there to be honest
He was aiming for the left hand side but it drifted to the right
It's amazing that it got the remaining one
Oh man, oh man, oh man...
That was amazing
There's one thing we can take from what just happened for sure...
We will NEVER be able to do that again!
You're right
Honestly, everything went perfectly there
Everything went perfectly there
Everything went perfectly
After Team Matsumoto's strike, Hamada throws his 2nd ball
2nd Frame
It's good, it's good
Oh no
2nd Frame 2nd ball
Oh no, it's no good.
Thank you so much, Hamada-san
Okay, great!
Well, well, well
We can do this, we can do this!
Okay here we go!
Right then!
Let's just do the exact same thing as before
Everything the same
Everything the same, the power and speed
Everything exactly the same
Exactly the same
I can get this small
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
Here we go
W-w-w-wait
Tanaka, can you move a bit..?
I told you...
I'm in the gutter!!
I'm in the gutter if I move any more.
Come this way
I only have a tiny bit of space
I'm in the gutter too
Okay here we go
Ready, steady
Look
Yellow's gone
Oh shit, red, oh shit!
There you go
I see, so that's what happens
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Yup, that's what happens
I see
You're doing it at the same time so of course that will happen
So the first roll you did really was
a miracle
Pure luck!
Hey
Apparently it was just a fluke...
So what do we do in this situation?
Yeah, there's no point of the left hand side
So Yamasaki being there...
You should just not aim for anything
Just go straight
I should try and just not hit anything?
Yes
Just try and miss
And we will just bet on the other three to do the job
You were just trying to hit it
and you totally missed it, so who cares, just hurry the hell up!
What does he mean by that?
Don't fall for his tricks
It's just a trick of words
Please
He's just trying to lower our morale
Yes he is
Even if you take loads of time,
You're not going to get on-air time so just hurry the hell up already.
When he makes those kind of comments
It really hurts us here, right?
You're right
Don't fall for it
Other than Matsumoto, none of you are getting screen time
Are you serious?
That's not true, we are all getting screen time, we all are.
You're not tricking us, are you, Matsumoto-san?
No of course not.
No of course not, we are all getting plenty of screen time
Are you sure?
Of course.
Take a look, guys
We aren't getting any screen time!!
Hey hold on a minute!!
He's tricking us!
Leave it, leave it!
We aren't getting tricked!
What's going on?
Don't get drawn into it
I really put effort into how I look today...
Don't get tricked
You sure?
It'll be fine, you're getting plenty of screen time
Okay...
As if you're going to miss the pins, okay?
Your behinds might get some screen time...
2nd Frame 2nd Bowl
Zaki-san, you're just going to miss the pins
I'm just going to miss it then
We understand
Ready, steady...
This is good
Tanaka's ball, keep going
Keep going!
Ah that blue one
Go!
It will be fine
Here it goes
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
I see
What's happened now?
4-pin difference.
It's a good match though
It is
It really is
We're fine
That first try (in the 2nd frame) was shit...
We're going to be fine
It was annoying that he
got a spare there...
You know?
Will you guys just sit down?
What are you planning to do? Sit down already
It was a good he didn't get a spare before
Yeah yeah
Now sit down
Move
So the next one...
Well I guess there's only a 4-pin difference
Yeah exactly, we can't be getting nervous here already...
You're right
Yeah
We can't get nervous and let this affect us
We can't let this affect us
You're right
There will definitely come a time where he starts to crumble
Yes for sure
It will come
Can you stand back?
Just get off this part
No but...
Get off this part
He will definitely crumble at some point
Get off here
He will
None of you come back on here
There's only a 4-pin difference
In bowling, that's nothing
We're totally fine
3rd frame
Oh shit, it went to the side
We are totally fine!
You're fine
I am fine, aren't I?
He is a bit
He's a bit tense, isn't he?
He is tense
He is, right?
You can really tell he's not been properly educated
It really comes out here...
You can really tell here
I'm totally fine
He really is a retard...
You bet
3rd frame 2nd ball
You're not going to deny it?
Shit, oh shit!
Come on
Let's increase the speed a little bit more
I agree
We are throwing our balls a little bit too slowly
You're right
Because we got a strike on our very first bowl, we were under the assumption that was fine...
But in all honest other than when we got a strike
All my balls have ended up in the gutter...
You're right, the yellow ball is always in the gutter
Always
It's always the first in the gutter
Okay
Here we go
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
Ready, steady
Fast!
There we go
That's great!
This is really good!
Come on!
Yes!
Yes yes yes!
This is it!
Great!
We have arrived
This is the way to go!
This is really great
We have arrived!
Hamada's 4th frame, 2nd throw...
4th frame 2nd throw
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Thank you very much
I knew as soon as I let go of the ball
Thank you so much
Next up is Team Matsumoto, an important throw after getting a strike
4th frame 1st throw
Oh no, oh no...
Shit!
Oh man, what have we done?
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Shit
What the hell is this?
This is just...
I have no idea what to do
I don't understand at all what we are doing right or wrong
We are doing the exact same thing each time
We really are
Literally the same
Come on, hurry up!
What should we do?
No seriously, we don't know what to do
I'm going on the side
Okay then I will too
You guys are in the way
Okay, let's try it like this then
Okay I will go in the middle too
Yeah do that
Oh shit, you guys are in the way
We are, right?
Yes
Here we go
Fill in Fill in
The bowling center has allowed them to bowl like this. Please do not try this at home
Ready, steady...
Make sure it's a speed ball, okay?
Speed ball.
I'm in the gutter!
We should have gotten smaller!
See! Of course my ball went into the gutter
Hold on, that's good!
That one's good
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Wow, that was quite good
Only 2 pins' difference
Hamada's 5th frame, his 2nd ball after hitting 3 pins
5th frame 2nd throw
Such a shame, it was a good throw as well...
This is huge
Team Matsumoto's second throw after hitting 1 pin
5th frame 2nd throw
Okay, green ball!
That's good, it deflected off!
Thank you!
Go!
This is good, this is good!
Yellow is looking good!
Hamada's 6th frame, his second throw after hitting 6 pins
6th frame 2nd throw
Oh no
Ready, steady
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
6th frame 2nd throw
Team Matsumoto's 6th frame, 1st throw
Okay, there they go
The yellow ball...
Oh man, there are some pins in awkward positions...
Hold on...
Yes, that's great!
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Oh man!
I don't understand what just happened
That fourth ball
What about it?
It was thanks to the fourth ball
It really was
That would never happen usually
It would never happen
Yeah, normally
Okay okay... Man I want to throw by myself
I know, right?
We can do this though, right guys?
6th frame 2nd throw
Yes, we definitely can
Ready, steady
Oh I think they've got it here
The yellow ball again...
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
The red ball
Uh oh, the yellow ball...
The yellow ball...
See... The yellow ball!
Oh it's going!
The yellow!
The yellow is going to get it!
That's amazing!
The yellow ball is amazing (Matsumoto's ball)
The yellow ball is amazing!
The yellow ball, Matsumoto-san!
Amazing!
It really is amazing!
This is getting really bad for me now, right?
Hamada
Matsumoto
Yeah, you need a strike and a spare soon...
You're right
Yeah, he really does
This is now seriously desperate times for me
The middle of the game
There's a big difference in the score and Hamada's expression is much more serious now
7th frame
Hold on, this is good
Yeey!
There it is!
He gets a strike here?!
Ready, steady
Oh shit
This is bad
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
Yellow!
Oh my God!
That's great!
That was amazing
That was unbelievable just now!
The ball in the gutterwas totally helping the other ball
The ball in the gutter was totally helping the other ball
It was pushing it away from the gutter
Like the whole time
That ball...
Yellow!
Oh my God!
Same as before, okay?
Okay
Ready, steady
Look
One's gone
Look at my ball, it's so good, isn't it?
Stay on!
Oh damn!
Yellow!
Curve!
Make a sharp turn!
Ah I see
So that's what happens...
What to do...
Hamada now needs to close the gap
8th frame 2nd throw
8th frame, 2nd throw
He got it
Nice shot
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Oh yeah
4 pins' difference
This is...
We're in trouble
We are in trouble
What do we need to do?
We're in trouble, we're in trouble
Yeah you're right
You're fine
Hold on, it's not a 4-pin difference
Nope, we can't do it
No, you can't say that
It's not like you can't win from here
If we just stop here
It would still be deemed a draw
Yes, it would be a draw
It would be indeed
So today would just be a draw
It would end as a draw
We'll leave it 'til next time
Another battle
We'll battle again next week
Seriously, we are...
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
we are definitely losing right now
Yes, we are
We are losing
We are losing on morale as well
Because in the next frame, he will definitely get 5 pins at least
In the next frame, his total score will go above 100
It definitely will
Ready, steady
8th frame 1st throw
Shit, hold on a second!
Oh shit, man!
I told you!
Endo
Matsumoto
Yamasaki
Tanaka
It looks good
This is not bad
I think it's going to be good!
It's looking good!
Come on!!
YES!!!
Come on!
See, now it could swing either way
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
It was totally a missed throw
It was
This is literally comedian-power
It really is
As if we would agree to a rematch
Right?
We can do this
Thanks to the 9th frame, we now have no idea who will win this match
9th frame 2nd throw
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Ready, steady
9th Frame 2nd throw
The bowling centre has allowed them to bowl like this. Please do not try this at home
Oh shit
Again?
Go on, purple!!
Come on, purple!
Go on, purple!!
This is bad...
Go!
It should be okay
Oh man...
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
I have no idea who's going to win, there's only a 5-pin difference
I'm the one at a disadvantage here
A spare is crucial here for you, Hamada-san
You're right
A spare is a must here
Hamada looks nervous and goes into his last frame
Final frame
This is good
That's amazing
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
THIS IS BAD!
This is really bad
He's amazing
But guys, you know...
When I go bowling with him,
at the end, he tends to get 3 strikes in a row
That's not good, if he does that, we are just...
We can't have that!
He didn't get a strike on his 2nd throw, but...
Final frame 3rd throw
He got it
Oh for sure...
He got a spare and he finishes on a total of 133.
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Even if we get a strike or a spare here,
we only get another shot, so we are finished.
It would be really tough
We have to get a strike or spare in the first two shots
Yeah, you're right
It's going to be impossible
We're counting on you...
Yeah, sorry but if you could...
It's virtually impossible so if you could...
Unfortunately, we are going to have to carry this on another time...
It's such a shame
What the hell, man?
Us four men thought about it and this was the result
Yes, indeed
So you know
Nothing and no one can change our mind
No no, the result isn't final so just go and do it
Whatever happens, they need a strike or a spare
Finally, the time to decide the winner
Here we go
Get small and tight
Ready, steady
Go
Purple
It's up to purple!
It's up to purple... uh oh!
The purple one...
Come on, purple!
Oh no, the purple ball!
Okay, come on, purple!
Come on, purple!
Go, purple!
Okay yellow, knock it over!
Yellow, get it!
We are in serious trouble now!
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
We need to get it
We just need to knock it down
So knock it down...
But that alone isn't enough
We need to knock it down and then get 5 in the final throw, oh shit that is tough!
Get a spare on the second throw
Then knock 6 pins over on the final throw
So get this one and then knock over 6...
That's fine, right?
and then 6 more to win?
Can we get that one?
The pin right on the side...
That one is difficult to get
Okay then, we are going to...
get the professional to throw for us
Great idea!
I see!
Please, for us
We're counting on you
We're using our chance card
Please
We're counting on you
Let's use it
We were going to use you at the 6th frame
But we decided to use you here
You can't miss on purpose though!
That would be mean
It really would
You can't do that
Just shut the hell up and throw
No but seriously, should we all aim for that one pin?
What, all of us?
I think we should all just aim for it
If we all aim for it, I'm pretty sure the
result will be disastrous
No, but if you calculate the probabilities of hitting the pin,
we should all just aim for it
I think so
that's definitely the right way to go about this
I don't think we can have balls missing the
pin on purpose at this stage
I think we should work individually whilst as a team
Let's go with that
As long as one of our balls hit
We should go with probability here...
He really isn't feeling it, huh?
I'm sorry but I have to feel it
No I totally get it
If we don't get the result we want here
I will end up hating all of you
I'm sorry
Just out of curiosity, what is your plan?
What do you think?
I think we should do what we've been doing the whole time
I think we should do the same thing we've done since the start
But if we do it that way and we fail
I would feel really responsible for our loss and I don't want that
So let's talk it through together
Wait, we did do that
We did talk through it
and it's 3 vs 1
If we count up our votes...
So just on this throw, we all aim for that pin?
Just direct your feelings to that pin
You're right
Let's go for it
Wait, isn't it a bit too far to the right?
Was there ever a pin that close to the edge?
No seriously...
It has changed positions a bit
Let's check it, seriously
Seriously, it's not in the correct position
Wait, even if it is, it's because the pin from before nudged it a bit...
I agree...
I guess...
It's not been out of position from the start...
It really is as he says...
Here we go
Okay then ready st-...
What the hell, man?
Together
Seriously, let's do this properly
Yes, of course, of course!
Of course
Ready, steady
Final frame 2nd throw
Oh shit, mine's gone
NO NO, OH SHIT!
Yes, you won!
Hamada
Team Matsumoto
Come on!
Well that's that!!
Team Matsumoto
BATSU GAME!
Team Matsumoto Batsu game!
You know
We were doing so well as a team
Right at the end, we became individuals
You're right
That's so true
That was what was wrong
It's no good to
think of us even as a family
Why..?
They're really getting lectured
So I'm going to slap you guys now
It can't be helped; stand up
Apparently he wants to see us getting slapped
All of us
Shall I slap you guys? Matsumoto included
No, we are quite okay
Shall I slap you guys? Matsumoto included
Wait, what? Why?
He just wants to slap someone...
He just wants to slap
Because you lost as well
Yeah, come to think of it, you lost too, why the hell are you slapping them?
Oh shit, he's coming over here
You've lost as well
Oh shit
Line up!
He's coming
This is so wrong
This wasn't in the agreement
Line up, line up now
This is just...
This wasn't in the agreement...
Don't complain
Hold on a second
So we got slapped and have to do a Batsu game?