Team Gaki Presents
Translators: GakiNoSuitGuy airismile Shion indi Papa-Pineapples zakennayo Alisa Solarwings photodiode funtonite Otviss RyuuTenshi Typesetters: Li'l Carl acoolins24 Sacro Kintsugi carebu zel Zeph Giffan Kolibry samsamuel CadetPirx Amria Alan bipedal Wyrm One Nojiko Karaoke: Kolibry Translation Check: Oolong Conjyak Quality Checkers: Elestriel Moocau EcksDee Server/Website Admin: Rich
Late night drunk awakening experiment begins
To this sleepy Jimmy,
Ohhh this one
We performed late night drunk awakening experiment
This was such a good one
Waiting for Jimmy to fall into a deep sleep...
Woof
Grrrrrrrrrrrr
No way, definitely no way
Right?
Woof
This is not even a noise human makes
Drunk Sleep Study Responsiveness Test 1
How will he respond to electric shock?
This was so abnormal
He just won't wake up
Switched ON
It's still so funny after seeing it so many times
Let's try increasing the power
Yeah, even after this many times
This was just so good
Drunk Sleep Study Responsiveness Test 2
What kind of reaction will there be with triple the number of shock pads?
Ohh this
Switched ON
Well this happened
Plus he's drunk
Daisuke was very scared here
Science Lab
And we have this scene from 4 years ago
He couldn't for two to three days
Unprotected after all
That's true
Ohh this
Yeah this happened
Astro Boy
T/N: Astro Boy is a manga about a robot boy made by Tezuka Osamu, "the Godfather of manga."
He always comes in with a bad mood
He's always like that
Big brother Atom, so you were here!
I picked this up
Uran-chan?
Uran-chan, you picked something up?
Uran-chan was so naughty
I picked this up
You picked that up?
Why are you afraid of me?
WA HA HA HA HA...
Uran-chan, eh?
What's going on? What's happening?
A trick bag containing the voice of Hosei
W-wait, just wait a moment
AAAHHH!!
If the bag is pressed, Hosei gets an OUT
Uran-chan?
You can't do that, your big brother...
Yeah
WA HA HA HA HA...
Watch out!
He was for real
He was really trying to catch her
Uran-chan, you can't...
Yeah he was really trying
Because your big brother...
...it hurts your big brother
You can't do that
AAAHHH!!
You can't press it
AAAHHH!!
You can't press it
Why is Big Brother so angry?
Big Brother
I hate you!!
URANNN
Treasure Hunter
And this is a scene in the preparing room
Hey, Endo, why don't you sing a little for us?
Sing?
What kind of song should I sing?
Honestly, anything is fine
Beating out on the asphalt
Dragonfly (Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi)
The sound of my steady steps
To stay true to myself
That's all I've ever wanted
I see people acting like they're somebody else
Matsumoto joins in
I count the nights that I can't stand to go on
Trapped in the inescapable darkness
This is a good face
Even today, I only pretended to sleep
So much that I could die
Yup I lost it here like that
I wondered who would join in
It would suck if too many joined in
And in the end
Earth Defender
Food Improvisation Singing Contest!
Praise
Compliment
Food Improvisation Singing Contest!
Yes, yes, yes
This was seven years ago!
Yeah!
This was really funny
Cuisine Lyrics Exchange Rule
Shinagawa chooses one of the five to
Sing about the food written on the card shown
Rules as follows: Shinagawa shows a card to one of the five
And they must praise the food in a song
Designated person follows the melody
And improvises a song introducing and praising the food
They must sing about the food in a melody
And compliment the food in that song
This was so difficult
Singing along to: "Sacchan's Melody"
Sacchan's real name is Sachiko
But because she is small she calls herself Sacchan
How cute, Sacchan
Next will be "Sacchan's melody"
Sacchan's real name is Sachiko
But because she is small she calls herself Sacchan
How cute, Sacchan
Hosei-san, let's go. Music start!
Sacchan
Subject
Twice-Cooked Pork
Twice-cooked pork is meat and soup put together
It works my tongue a lot you're very cute pork
"It works my tongue a lot"
Just say "the taste"
Matsumoto-san music start!!
Sacchan
Subject
Chocolate Croissant
Choco Croissant has chocolate in it and I love it but it's expensive
So I can't open my wallet for it too often you're so expensive -oissant
What the hell?
He's been completely dragged by the rhythm
This was a "Oh Yeah!!" moment
He's not complimenting it at all!
Are you ready, Hamada-san?
Hamada's challenge
Next is Hamada, can he praise it well?
Sacchan
Subject
Shanghai Fried Noodles
Shanghai Fried Noodles!
It specifically says Shanghai, so...
There it is!
It has lots of vegetables and drips with gravy but some people like it
I've never seen Hamada like this
And some people dislike it ha~ there is division, I like it. Shangai
This is a song for traveling in Shanghai
Shanghai is a place, A PLACE!!
Flying in the sky, the city is flying, pierces through the clouds becoming a star
Fan the flames, tear through the darkness, the super city comes soaring in
TOKIO TOKIO while embracing the two of us, TOKIO TOKIO is flying in the sky
Theme Song
Sawada Kenji
Praise to the Melody
Famous Detectives
After that
Flying in the sky, the city is flying, pierces through the clouds becoming a star
It's TOKIO
I remember it was so hard
It's so fast
This is nostalgic
Fan the flames, tear through the darkness, the super city comes soaring in
So fast
Oh it's here
TOKIO TOKIO while embracing the two of us, TOKIO TOKIO is flying in the sky
This is long
This part, here
This part's so good
This part, it'd be great if you could make your song really good here
Theme Song
TOKIO
Sawada Kenji - 1980
Hamada Masatoshi
First is Hamada. Can he keep up with the faster tempo?
Subject
Music Start!
Pork cutlet rice bowl
Pork cutlet rice bowl!
Pork cutlet rice bowl
There is pork cutlet, the coating is sealed with egg, the pot is... Uh... It's there
What's it, what's it, whaaat is this? What, what is this? Pork cutlet rice bowl,
What even is this?
Come on, hurry
This is pork cutlet rice bowl bowl
Open the door, open it
Get the hell out, get out
This is an out, right?
OUT!
Yes!
What are you doing??
Theme Song
TOKIO
Sawada Kenji - 1980
Matsumoto Hitoshi
And then it's Matsumoto's challenge! How will he fare?
Music Start!
Subject
Kitsune Udon Fried Tofu Udon
T/N: "Kitsune" means "Fox" in Japanese. In traditional folklore, it is said that the fox spirits love eating fried tofu, which is why fried tofu udon is called Kitsune Udon.
Kitsune Udon!
I haven't eaten it! Last week too! Last week Tuesday I didn't eat it!
Fox. The fox's... Wife, I will go to the town they live in
Oh my
What is he doing..?
This again
The town the wife and the fox will live in. Let's live with foxes!!
OUT
That's what happens, right?
So embarassing...
Wait, let's take a photo together!!
Together?
Song
Great Mysterious Adventure!
Hosei Tsukitei
Then we have Hosei's challenge during the Great Prison Break season
Prison
Let's begin
Music start!!
Great Mysterious Adventure!
Subject
Salt grilled saury
Salt grilled saury!
Let's eat! Salt grilled saury! There's so much fat on der~
Let's eat! Salt grilled saury! There's so much fat on there~
What an idiot
This is the worst
If there's so much fat on it, oh yeah, now is the time for salt grilling~
Hosei did so good here
That was the hook
Yes
Theme Song
Astro Boy
Hamada Masatoshi
Next is Hamada
Really? I don't remember anything about this part
From here, we have questions for you
Question?
What? Question?
I don't remember it here
Please remember this
Music, start!!
I don't recall a single thing
Astro Boy
Subject
Fried Rice
Fried Rice!
Fried rice, potstickers, or sweet &
Sour pork, which is my favorite?
He's bringing up other dishes
You must be kidding me
What was it?
Here is the question: What did Hamada sing after this?
What did he say?
What?
Question:
What did Hamada sing?
Fried rice, potstickers, sweet & sour pork
Which one is my favorite???
And here's the question
What did Hamada sing after that?
Write it down, please
I wonder...
What was it?
This is hard
It's too hard
Hamada's got an advantage
That's right, it's not fair
I bet you're right
I mean, he said it himself...
I sang it, that's true, but...
How many years ago was that?
It's from 6 years ago, No Laughing Prison, 2014
Did I say it in a weird way?
Let's say you said something out of your character...
No
Out of character...
I think I got it
Maybe me too
Let's reveal your answers, starting from Tanaka
Alright
Let's see
I thought of something he wouldn't say
"Which one do I like the most?"
"Little me has no clue"
I see, it's something like this!
Exactly, there's no way he would say that
I never heard him say it...
Alright, it's up to you, Kimura
I mean, you're not wrong
Let's see, Kimura
That's Chinatown's hot steel plate
"A Chinese restaurant's hot grill"
"A Chinese restaurant's hot grill"?
That's Chinatown's hot steel plate
Makes sense, it's potstickers, fried rice and sweet & sour pork
They're popular Chinese dishes, makes sense
I can see that
Your turn, Matsumoto
I feel like I took a completely different direction
So, "which one do I like the most?"
"Of course it's my wife!"
Of course it's my wife
He'd never say that
I mean, it's because
It was right after he had an affair
T/N: Hamada was revealed to be having an affair with a gravure idol in 2014. He made a public apology and his wife forgave him.
Right after that?
Yeah, that's why
I see
For his image, huh?
You could almost hear his intentions
Yeah, that's right
I don't think it's any of those yet,
Maybe I'm wrong with mine too...
Let's see your answer
"I try to ask myself"
I try to ask myself
Yes, it was something like that!
Yeah, that's it!
"Ask myself," yes!
It's not something you'd say
I mean, Hamada
"I try to ask myself"
Yeah, that's right, it was something like this
"Ask myself", that's it
50,000
100,000
200,000
30,000
20,000
50,000
100,000
200,000
30,000
20,000
Hamada's answer is worth 200,000 Heipos
Now,
Is that it?
Let's reveal the answer
Alright, people, here it comes
You don't have to say that
You're absolutely right, let's go!
Answer:
Here's the answer
Astro Boy
Subject
Fried Rice
Fried rice!
Fried rice, potstickers, or sweet & sour pork, which
Is my favourite? I tried to ask it to myself
He's naming other dishes!
Incredible!
But when I go to a Chinese restaurant, I always order my
Beloved fried rice!
I'm surprised I remembered it
His voice sounds funny too
Not bad at all
I really don't like how other dishes made an appearance!
I agree
That's not fair
But the most annoying part was "I tried to ask myself"!
That's right
His old geezer aura is really incredible!
Answer:
"I try to ask myself"
The answer was:
"I try to ask myself"
Kimura
Matsumoto
Hamada
Hosei
Endo
Tanaka
Nicely done
That was perfect, Hamada
Thank you
"I tried to ask it to myself", that's exactly it
He clearly remembered it
But it was a hard question, wasn't it?
Really hard
Yeah, right out of the blue
Who do you think is the best at this?
The best at this? It's hard for all of us
I see, I see
I see, there's no answer, then
You're glaring at us, Matsumoto
You can't do this, right, Kimura?
Of course she can't
She's not looking
Are you okay, Kimura? And you, Daigo?
Everything alright?
Yeah, and you, Daigo?
The song was...
No, I'm not good at this and I don't remember, but that's not what I'm saying
What we're doing today...
There it is!
Sacchan is ready
Here comes Sacchan!
Thank you so much
Give me a break, we showed so many funny moments!!
Sacchan!
It's the same as before
Come on...
Really, the same exact thing
It's the same
I agree
It's the same situation as before
Really
It's time to show you a perfect one
Really!?
If you please
Kimura, feel free to choose a topic
Sounds good
Some food
Food?
Let's go
Praise
Chidori's Daigo
Sing a song to praise the food
So, it's time for Daigo to sing a song
Chidori's Daigo
Sing a song to praise the food
Oh boy...
So, it's time for Daigo to sing a song
Sacchan
Subject
Daigo
Topic, please
Sushi
The ingredients are on the top, the rice is balled up, with a bit of wasabi
I can see the capabilities of the chef, but the sushi portion is
Lacking by this much, sushi
Let's stop this
I had enough
The worst part is when I can't even decide what part was the worst
For a second, I thought I was even doing great!
Now you know
I agree
That's right
Hey, Daigo
Show us your armpit
Check this out!
That's unbelievable
Daigo!
That's too much sweat
It's all in there
Holy crap
His armpit sweat is covering his whole body
As soon as I said "sushi", it erupted
We can't end it on this note
It gets weird even if you don't intend to
That's right
That's exactly it
Now I know it's impossible
You beside him, it's your turn
Yeah, Nobu should
W-Wait, please don't make me
Maybe he can
We should end this with his sweaty armpits!!
It's really hard, Nobu
Come on
Alright, give me a topic
Thanks!
Sacchan
Subject
Nobu
Sweet & sour pork
Sweet & Sour pork
Such a thick sauce, over awesome pork, so dismembered!
Alright folks, here's the pork party! How are we gonna eat it?
Pour some vinegar'n'bell peppers and yo!
What the?
The melody changed!
Why did it suddenly became a musical?
The sweet & sour pork...
It's like, the Disney version of sour & sweet pork
Let me buy this whole footage, I'll pay you 1 million!!
Time's up for Kimura, our guest
Yeah, that's it
Unexpectedly, she has to leave
Isn't she going to stay with us?
They told me there's something I can't see here, so...
Stop, say no more!
How was it, Kimura?
I wish I can come back here as someone
To make you laugh in the future
Please, do
An assassin, huh?
Counting on you, then
Take care
Thank you for having me
Leaving early for reasons
Alright then, Kimura
Alright Kimura, thanks
Come on
I'm scared now
What does that mean?
Thank you for coming
This can't mean anything good
Thanks for coming
And now, folks...
We have another group of guests, please come here!!
Ah, is that so?
Ryuhei Ueshima
Tetsuro Degawa
It's Ryuhei Ueshima and Tetsuro Degawa
That's gotta be it, then...
Thanks for coming here
Now I get it...
Those two came here, and so...
That's right
As you know, when Ueshima and Degawa
Are in the same room, it's bad news...
Stop it
It's a fact
Did Kimura's agency forbid her to meet us in real life?
She actually wanted to stay here
Yeah you know, policies and stuff
I see, nothing we can do here
When we passed her by,
She didn't even look at us...
No way that's true
You gotta be kidding me
A recurring event since 2011: Body Challenges Corner
Since 2011, they hosted a recurring event
A physical challenges corner with fellow comedians
Putting their bodies on the line: the legendary duo
They're not yet ready to lose to young comedians,
That's how they became legends, putting their bodies on the front line
Hot crepes
This is going to hurt!
Hot crepes
This year
This year...
However...
This year...
We've been told by the staff
That we can't do that this year,
'Cause we would end up being in close contact
Makes sense
I see
So we're doing it here, just the two of us
T/N: "Kohaku Uta Gassen" is the most popular New Years Eve TV special, followed by the Batsu.
For us, this show is our personal
Kohaku Uta Gassen!
Is that so?
That's right
I mean, it's being ten years!
Is it that important?
If we can't do it,
We can't end this year, you know!!
That's right, it's really important
So, what do you want to do this time?
That's right
Of course, what we wanna do...
It's a scrotum tug of war
It's a tug of balls
I have no idea what they said
Tug of what?
Their unison voice didn't work at all
What's that?
A tug of war with our balls
Ah, with your balls?
And what should we do by watching it?
You don't have to bet anything here
We don't?
It can happen in a real casino, you know
Like, an unknown singer shows up or such
Is that what we're going through?
Kind of
What the?
An unknown singer!?
It's like going to Okinawa and
T/N: BEGIN is a popular Okinawan pop band.
Someone you don't know starts singing BEGIN
That's not it!
I can tell you're being rude here!
That's not what we are!
I mean, it's something an actress can't see
That's right, Kimura just left
So you'll do something that will be that exciting
That's right
Bring that thing out already!
What is it?
We gotta do this, or else the year won't end
I mean, you're right
It's their "Kohaku"
Check that out
We're ready for this
Say Tecchan, you gained weight again, didn't you?
Alright!
Let's do this
Bring it!
They look like small sumo wrestlers
Daigo!
Pinch it on my dick... Um... I mean, balls!
He has no idea what he's saying
Is that how it works?
Placing clothespins on their scrotums for a
Tug of war match
Nobu
Yes?
You do the same
Sure, got it
Pinch my balls properly
On your balls, you say...
Yeah, pinch 'em for good
This is gonna hurt
Make sure it's on there good
This is quite tight though, eh?
Ow, that hurt!
It's like a threeleaf arrowhead.* It's all hardened
T/N: Similar to the water chestnut. Often a part of Japanese New Years cuisine
What...
Those things that all of Japan will be eating tomorrow
That's right
It's shrunken up
And looks like one of those hot stones you put in a tsukemen.*
T/N: A variant of ramen where the noodles and the soup are served separately
Right then, here we go
Here we go
Yup, okay
Ow ow ow
There we go
It's on
You haven't even tried to-- you haven't touched my sack once
That's not good, Daigo. You got to do it properly.
Daigo!
But, I mean, the sack...
Nobu did mine properly and touched mine
It's like he's dealing with something so dirty
You haven't touched it even once
Your left one is insane, you know?
What do you mean?
The size of your left one genuinely worries me.
It's so different to the right one.
The left one is massive!!
No no no...
It must be tough for you to walk, no?
No. Put it on, properly
Right, here we go, here we go
Here we go
Here it comes
Yes
Right, here we go then
Tug of War with Balls
START!
Don't lose!
Come on!
Ouch ouch ouch
This has to hurt...
Don't lose now...
Give it up now
Ow, ow
Wait a second, hey!
Come to the red line!
It's tug of war!!
That's not the point of this game...
Are you an idiot?
The point of this game isn't to get to the red line...
That's right
Who would be the winner that way?
Ow ow
Hey Nobu
This battle is going nowhere
Yes
Go bring 'that' in
Oh, go get that...
This?
1L Plastic Bottle
Do you mean this?
Yep, that's the one!
Seriously
What are you gonna do with that?
Put it on
Are you serious?
Wow wow wow
Here I go then
Yes
Ready, set
I'm actually... fine
I'm fine
The ringing of the bell...
I'm fine
That bell was for your lives in show business
Not yet
No, they still got it...
When the night view becomes beautiful
12 hours in
They say a certain game tournament at the hotel is held
Game Tournament
The 5 are told to change into track suits and arrive at the venue
Right guys
This is...
This is the venue of the game battle held by the hotel
Game Battle?
From here, you can laugh
But you can't lose at the battle no matter what. Ok, go
He's like "Ok, go"...
What's with that?
Huh?
Hello
Chihara Junior
Game Master
I've got a really bad feeling about this
Beat the Gaki Team!!
Supplanting Game Battle
Right, so here we are
I'd like to introduce your challengers
The guys you'll be going up against are...
These guys, come on in!
7th Generation Comedian Team
EXIT & Amefuri Myojo & Miki
The 7th Generation Comedian Team!
All right!
Hold on a second!!
Here we go, what is it!?
What is it?
Your jerseys are way too stylish
Stylish jerseys produced by EXIT
All right!
Ours don't even have pockets!!
Your opponents are the Gaki members, what are your thoughts?
Honestly, it's going to be easy, right?
Whatever the contest, we will win
They're all just old men anyway
What?
You're all just old men, right?
You really can't hear me at all?
I thought you were saying something really funny, but when I heard it
I realised it was pretty basic...
Don't fall for their trap, man
He's trying to provoke us
6 on your team
Gaki Team
5
Members
7th Gen
6
Members
You guys have 5, so
You're at a disadvantage, obviously
So we've called in a strong addition for your team
It's this person, come in!
Momota Kento
Badminton World Number 1
Amazing!
That is strong
As of December 2020
Badminton World Ranked Number 1 Momota Kento
Known for one of the world's fastest smashes
What speed roughly is it?
(Initial speed) about 400 km/h
400!?
400km/h apparently!
None of you have seen that live, right?
Of course not
You would love to see that live, right?
Yes, we do!
So we would like you to experience it live. Please watch this video
Experience?
Momota Kento's
Badminton World Number 1
Smash Challenge!
We weren't told about this
The other will stand over a Dick Machine
One person from a chosen duo will stand With a paper balloon on his head
Huh? What?
And then Momota will hit a super high-speed smash!
Wait, that's super dangerous!
Momota hits a smash at the balloon! Hit it within 2 shots → CLEAR
If he misses his 2 shots → Other person gets the Dick Machine treatment
Wait wait...
What is it?
Did we do something wrong?
He came all the way down for this
You're gonna have to do this, again?
The World Number One
Badminton player's smash - don't you want to see it live?
Uhuh...
I mean, yeah but...
Momota picks the duo who will face the challenge
Momota, you little shit
It's Cocorico
Cocorico will take on the challenge
Right, then!
He's way too happy
Right, just setting up
Endo -> Paper Balloon
Tanaka -> Dick Machine
This is scary
I don't want to do this
What is gonna happen
Right then, let us proceed
Here we go!
Seriously, is this safe?
This is terrifying
Oh man!!
That was terrifying
What happened just now?
You moved
I didn't move
You can't move
That didn't hit
It didn't
So this is your last chance. Go ahead, Momota
This is scary
Please
This is terrifying
I am so sorry!
Which means!!
Shared responsibility Dick Machine punishment!
What the hell is this?
What the hell is going on?
Seriously, what is this!?
What is going on?
The first battle will be the "Classic Pose" competition
Gaki vs 7th Generation
Do the same classic pose!!
Here we go...
Subject
Takeda Tetsuya
Think up and do a pose from the given subject
Okay
This will be hard
If it's Takeda-san, we could do it...
Everyone does the same pose → CLEAR If they don't → Dick Machine
I see
Okay
Do the same classic pose!!
First up The 7th Generation Team
Here we go!
You can make it hit harder for these guys, since they're young
They all hit hard
You old men
Won't use them anymore so it's fine
That's why they're precious to us!
We use them, too
We don't use them that much, so come on
Then it's fine!
Right then, here we go. Of course, you guys
Have been on TV shows with each other
We got this
You know each other, right?
It's all about teamwork
Let's have them match poses
Let's make it perfect, guys
Your first subject is
Gold Medalist
Gold medalist?
Gold medalist??
Right then, here we go
Go for the most obvious one, guys!
Subject - Gold medalist
A classic pose by a gold medallist
Match poses!
This is an easy one
Surely we got this?
Which means...
No good!
Wait, what!?
What!?
I see...
First, Seiya
Yep
That's a medal and you're...
Biting
Biting the medal
Obviously
Biting
What the hell is that?
I was doing Momota...
Momota
When he smashes
From badminton...
When you think of a gold medal, you think of Momota
Isn't that right?
No...
Maybe you overthought it?
Which means!
7th Generation Dick Machine Punishment
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry!
Please, wait!
Oh no
Oh no!
I am so sorry!
Ow!!!
My balls!
This is bad
This is
My balls!
It rolled back a bit*
T/N: Referring to his foreskin
That's fine
Good for you
It rolled back a bit
Momota, your thoughts on the Dick Machine?
I am terrified...
It feels breezy
You are properly scared, huh? Let's get this
Let's get this
Your subject will be
Bronze Statues
Subject Bronze Statues
What!?
Right then, standby!
Eh?
Bronze statue?
Bronze statue, guys!
Right then, let's go
What?
Bronze statue, please
Bronze statue...
Please pose so it's clear for all
Bronze statue
Wait, what? Bronze statue?
Bronze statue?
Match classic poses!
But if you really think about it
Yeah if you think about it...
What!?
What?
What the hell!?
You're all posing differently
All of you are different
All of them!
Who are you?
The Golden Arrow Award statue
The Oscar?
Oscar
Oh, the Oscar
Oscar
That's so small!
That's not a bronze statue
That's not even a bronze statue
He's got the subject wrong
Statue of Liberty
Do people think of that as a bronze statue?
What about Matsumoto?
I'm the Buddha...
Buddhist statue
That's a Buddhist statue
A Buddhist statue?
That's a Buddhist statue
Wait, hang on...
The subject is bronze statue
Matsumoto, that's awful
So you had a Buddhist statue
Awful
Ninomiya Kinjiro*
T/N: Statues of Ninomiya Kinjiro are common in Japan
Ninomiya Kinjiro
Yes!
Yep! Good one!
It's got to be, surely
It has to be!
And then?
The Thinker
Oh yeah
Okay, The Thinker
The Statue of Liberty
Statue of Liberty
2 of them did it...
And so...
Dick Machine!
Here it comes!
Wait, no! No!
No! No! No!
Oh man!!
That hurt so much!