Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: Conjyak BabyStand solar Zebestt sonjeigo photodiode GakiNoSuitGuy AshAbs funtonite Typesetters: Small Carl Adilofax Sacro Dudedafool carebu samsamuel Nigel Amria Textualpoacher kannibleklown Nojiko Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread Ecksdee Elestriel Moocau
Although the sun is setting, many more trials await them
9 hours into their school life
Because everyone saw it, right
Right
Like that
Listen up
This school's student counselor
possesses remarkable powers
Shall we go greet him?
Student counselor...
Student counselor
I have a bad feeling..
This school's ultra-important teacher
Student counselor greeting
I've had enough of these scary people
Yeah...
There's a lot of them, right
Right!
Yes
Excuse us
Student counselor's office
Ah, so it's here
Excuse us
...Because the student counselor has an intimidating image
Could you line up here?
I have a bad feeling about this...
Something feels off...
Excuse me
Ah, he's here
He's here
Ah, he's here already!
The newly joined employees... Ah!
The newly joined employees... Ah! sorry-
The newly enrolled students are here
May they introduce themselves?
They're all participating!
You can't be serious!
They're all participating?
Is that right?
Incredible
Student counselor
Shingo Katori
T/N: Shingo Katori is another member of SMAP. He's also won several awards for his acting roles in many different TV shows.
What the hell is going on?
Incredible
What is this...
Student counselor
What??
The student counselor has a really distinctive style
The hell are you doing?
Really?
What is that?
I don't get this
What are you doing?
I have no idea
Student counselor...
I don't get the concept!
A parody of Matsumoto's
legenday panty shot project
I really don't understand
No, the concept...
So you are the new students
Yes
Welcome to Heipo Omamegaoka High School
The personal apperance of the student counselor
He noticed
Playing the harmonica to welcome the new students
I will now welcome you properly
Stuffing the harmonica into his mouth
Yes yes, I get it
What
That's enough
Come on, tell us the concept!!
Tell us the concept
What are you doing?
What the hell are you doing?
Let us introduce each other
Starting with your name
Self introduction
1. Name
Your favorite girly mannerism
2. Favorite girly mannerism
And a line that you want a girl to say to you
3. A line you want a girl to say
Teacher Fujiwara, if you would start
Eh, Hiroshi Fujiwara
My favorite girly mannerism is
to put out their smoke in the cold soup of a used instant noodle cup
A line that I want a girl to say to me is
"You look good just wearing a T-shirt too, you know"
Nice to meet you
No no no
No, Fujiwara...
Next up is... you (Matsumoto)!!
My name is Hitoshi Matsumoto
My favorite girly mannerism is...
Well... If I had to pick right now, it'd be... When...
When they put their hair up in a ponytail
Isn't that correct?
No, not that kind of thing
Wait, why?
No no...
But it is just a personal preference
Do you know what our school's teaching principles might be?
I don't know
Sorry
Fujiwara left...
That. It's written here
Teaching principles
Ah, it's peeling off
We can see everything, teacher...
No, sorry...
Glance
You jerks. Why are you looking at my panties?
The licensed student counselor's way of life
Looking at his panties is unforgivable
You're looking even now, aren't you
Glance
You just looked, didn't you?
...I didn't
He should wear something just a little longer, don't you think...
Do you have a hobby?
My hobby is...
Scuba diving
Aaah...
And you?
Golf
Golf?
Yeah, I like golf
It was recommended to me by the Principal so I had no choice but to start
But I got totally addicted and ended up getting a complete set
The licensed student counselor's way of life
His hobby, golf, was recommended by the principal
Ooh, nice
Nice
Glance
Teacher
HEY!!
YOU WERE STRAIGHT UP LOOKING
No, I wouldn't say...
No no, it's your...
Teacher, our eyes just happen to look that way
Well, it is in plain sight so...
Hard not to see it
The licensed student counselor's way of life
He really hates people looking at his panties
You can't really help seeing it, you know
Yeah, even when you try not to look
A gentleman's sport!
Give it a shot (Endo)!!
Eh, me?
Endo doing a test shot
Swing!
Where should I stand? Is here okay?
Yeah, there
Give it a shot
I-is it okay to hit it?
NICE SHOT!!
Thank you very much
Glance
He looked! He just looked!!
You just looked at my panties didn't you!!
I said I didn't look
I beg you not to look anymore
Well, I guess...
It's not like you want to look...
I'm really sorry
Pleeeaaase don't look anymore
Give it a test swing (Hosei)!!
Eh?
Hosei doing a test shot
You haven't tried golf, have you?
No, I haven't tried it before
Please be careful
Give it all you've got!!
Watch the ball
Woah
Ah!
What?
Watch the ball
WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
The string snapped and the ball flew through the wall
LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!
I thought there was a string
You looked again...
Eh, no... I...
You glanced just as the string snapped
The licensed student counselor's way of life
He hates people looking at his panties so much he starts laughing
No, I didn't
No no no, the ball pierced straight through the wall
Don't stare at my panties!!
Let's take a commemorative photo
A commemorative photo?
"Commemorative photo"
Maybe because you blew a hole in the wall
You take the picture
He wants to take a commemorative photo like Matsumoto did
A proper camera
Where should we stand?
Just stand around me
Right now?
This is amazing
Ah, we should stand a little behind him
Ah, you're right
A-are you ready?
Yep
Ah, he's looking at my panties!!
No, please stop
I'm looking at all of you for the photo
You're definitely looking at my panties through the camera!!
You all just really want to look at my panties!!
Here! Here you go
No, it's not like that
We don't really want to look
Just take the picture
Look
Okay
Here, you bastards, look here
I'm taking the picture
Not looking at him
Say "cheese"
Photo with the student counselor...
Thank you
Let's go then
He gets really difficult when angry so let's go
Let's go back
What the hell
We didn't mean to anger him, but...
Glance
Ah, you stared again, didn't you!!
I didn't look, I swear!
Please excuse us!!
You just stared at my panties!!
This is taking unexpected turns
Yeah, it's all over the place
Crazy...
But... What about that hole?
Yeah, in the wall
When Endo did it there was a string, right...
Yeah, there was
Could you make a little way here?
Please make way! Coming through!
School official being carried out by emergency paramedics
There's really never a moment of rest, there's too much going on in this school
What tragedy just went down is still unknown to the 5 of them
The night has now completely engulfed them
10 hours into their school life
I'd really like it if the backrest leaned a little bit backwards
On the bullet train, are you one of those people that lower the backrest all the way down?
Ah, no not all the way down
The other day, it was the first time I experienced this, but...
There was this young woman sitting next to me...
I was sitting by the window
She took out her smartphone
And she plugged in the cable...
I see
But the outlet is over on this side, you know
Bullet train outlets
On the armrest, yes
There's an outlet
And she had the tray down and had her phone placed on the side
Watching a movie!!
What an extravaganza!!
The dependence on technology!!
Usually when you board the bullet train
I can't believe that you would already be running out of battery!!
That's right
Right?
You've never charged your phone on the bullet train?
No way because when you ride the bulle--
You don't?
You've already charged it
You have, right?
What were you doing yesterday?
What were you doing yesterday when you went to bed?
You charge yours on the bullet train, right?
Yes
You don't charge it the night before?
Only sometimes
That's right
I do, I do charge it the night before
Why don't you
It's fully charged as I wake up, but after a full day of activities
I charge it again around noon as I ride the bullet train
Will it deplete that fast?
You don't have any friends so I doubt you can deplete it!!
Don't have any friends?
You don't have any friends!!
What do you know about me?
Please stop the fighting
You don't have to be that mad
What the hell
However
It won't deplete that fast
I understand however
Even if it's at 78%, 100% makes it seem more functional...
That has nothing to do with it
It just seems better!!
No it doesn't
I don't charge it when it's at 78%
Lies lies
Not at 78%
I might think about it, but I won't do it
I don't from 78%
Do you mean that you've never charged it even once?
I don't ride the bullet train to charge my smartphone
I do it to charge myself...
You are freaking loud
Sorry!!
Say what?
It can't be helped, this is pointless
Seriously?
I do it at about 24%
Listen up
At our school the number 1 cheering squad has a
public practice so let's take a look
Cheering squad...
Cheering squad's public practice
The legendary school cheering squad!!
Visiting the public training of the cheering squad
Public practice session...
It's dark outside
So dark
So this is the gym, huh
Please come inside
It's freezing
This way
Gym
Please take a seat here
Squad leader
Tomonori Jinnai
T/N: Tomonori is a comedian, tarento, and presenter.
Squad member
Kazushige Nagashima
T/N: Kazushige is an actor, sports commentator, and former professional baseball player. Karen is a half Ukrainian half Japanese model, tarento, and actress.
Squad member
Karen Takizawa
Squad member
Kyoko Hamaguchi
T/N: Kyoko is a freestyle wrestler with two Olympic bronze medals. Girolamo is an Italian celebrity who lives and works in Japan, making appearances in dramas, variety shows, cooking shows, etc.
Girolamo
Alright!
T/N: Cheering squads in Japan are not like American cheerleaders. They are often portrayed in these long black uniforms, rough way of speaking, and they cheer with drums and rhythmic chanting.
Since you came to our public practice session
it must mean that you are interested in joining our cheering squad
Today we will show you our legendary fighting spirit!!
First off let's introduce our squad members!!
Kazushige!! Introduce yourself
I am in 2nd year class A and my name is Kazushige Nagashima!
His voice isn't even that loud
My current obsession is
to pick up cute seashells at the beach!!
At my house someone wrote, "Idiot son" on my wall, but it's nice to meet you!!
T/N: This actually happened where someone broke in and entered Kazushige's home and vandalized his wall. Though someone did come forward and admit to the crime, it's not clear if they really did it or were coerced to.
His voice doesn't come out sometimes
Karen your turn!!
Alright!
I am in 3rd year class B, and my name is Karen Takizawa
My favorite movies are
The Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump. I was moved
My favorite food is cheese
And that's because it can be stretched!!
Hamaguchi your turn!!
Alright!
From the 1st year class C, my name is Kyoko Hamaguchi
Lately I've been into haiku
Here is my proudest work that I poured my heart into!
Mom is angry
There were onions at home
after all
What the hell
Here on we will demonstrate the legendary 3-3-7 beat​!!
You ready, newcomers?
But it's not merely a 3-3-7 beat​!!
The legendary 3-3-7 beat​ of the cheering squad
No matter what happens we will chant at a 3-3-7 beat​
Can you do it?
Yes
Give us a subject!!
You with the bobbed hair and the giant lips
Give us a subject based on, "Things found in a school"
Well then... Blackboard
Blackboard
Yes
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Blackboard
Subject:
Kazushige
Yes
Can you go with blackboard?
Yes
Can you do it?
Yes
Chant about blackboards. Ready-set-go!
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Blackboard
Subject:
Blackboards are so pitiful, always being written on
and when erased they return to being blackboards
Keep at it
Yes
Alright
Let's change the subject
Oy, over there, Tsukitei
Yes
Think of a subject!!
School lunch, then
School lunch
Karen!
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
School Lunch
Subject:
Yes
You can do school lunch, right?
Yes
Chant about school lunch
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
School Lunch
Subject:
That thing you know, it's pretty nice, you know that flavor
Nobody can imitate it, of course that's how it is
It was supposed to be school lunch
That was strange, don't you think
Endo!! Give us a subject
Yes
Okay then...
Something you can find at school
Vaulting horse
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Vaulting Horse
Subject:
Hamaguchi
Yes
Can you think of something?
Here I go
Please chant!
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Vaulting Horse
Subject:
Running at it with all your might, swoop and bounce bounce bounce
Tried it out and it worked
Okay, next
Blonde macho give us a subject!!
Yes
I see... Well...
How about volleyball?
Volleyball
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Volleyball
Subject:
Girolamo
Yes
You can do it, right?
Yes
Chant about volleyball
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Vaulting Horse
Subject:
Volleyball-ball, flying high, I don't like volleyball
But many girls, receiving ball from a girl, I am happy
What beat is that!!
Can you do it?
Next we will chant about a celebrity!!
The one with the bobbed hair and the giant lips, give us a subject!!
Hiroyuki Sanada then
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Sanada Hiroyuki
Subject:
T/N: Hiroyuki Sanada is a famous actor who has appeared in Hollywood movies like Rush Hour 3, The Last Samurai, and Avengers: Endgame.
Hiroyuki Sanada. Do you get it, Karen?
Yes
Chant about Hiroyuki Sanada. Ready-set-go
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Sanada Hiroyuki
Subject:
I'm sure such a person exists
Never seen him, but he probably does exist
She has no clue
That's not a very encouraging chant!!
That's right
Blonde macho, mention a celebrity!!
Koji Higashino
Koji Higashino. Hamaguchi your turn
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Higashino Koji
Subject:
T/N: Koji Higashino is a comedian and television presenter. He makes/made appearances on shows like Wide na Show, Gottsu Ee Kanji, 24-kan TV, etc.
Yeah!
Chant about Higashino Koji. Ready-set-go
The legendary 3-3-7 beat chant
Higashino Koji
Subject:
Do your best, do your best, Higashino Koji HO!!
Go go, there you go, do your best hey...
Finally an encouraging chant
Anything goes
That's right
"Do your best, do your best"...
Can be used about anyone
Hey you fools!! We have newcomers here, what the hell is this?!
Are you up for it!?
Yeah!
We're working overtime today!!
Yeah!
Here we go. Ready-set-go
What?
This pisses me off
Amazing
They really practiced this a lot
Idiot
Son
Hamada, Hamada, Ugly Hamada
Ugly Hamada, Hamada, Hamada
Wow, wow
Hamada!!
This is horrible
This isn't good, their sense of rhythm is off
Koume Dayu
T/N: Koume Dayu is a comedian who is known for his style being based on a geisha. His catchphrase is, "Chikusho!" in a high falsetto voice, which means, "Damn it!"
He can do that?
Wow, cool
Cool
Yeah
Damn it!!
Great
Amazing
Wonderful
That was amazing
That was a great performance right?
It was great
Okay let's go
Thank you very much
Job well done
Thank you
They really did well
Yeah for sure
Definitely
Koume can really dance that well
School Life 11 Hours
What's up?
Everyone listen up
The parents and guardians have their
parents' meeting but
You all are students so it doesn't concern you, but
You understand the various problems at this school so...
If it doesn't concern us we don't have to go right?
Since you know the problems at this school, it'll be a learning opportunity
Why won't they smack him?
Say that one more time from the top!!
Yes, please
Please, once more
That's not a bad idea
Everyone listen up
Now, the parents will have their
parents' meeting, but
You all are students so it doesn't really concern you, but
That's nonsense
"It doesn't concern you" should be left out
If that's the case, we don't have to go, and you don't even have to say the rest, but since you say it
Exactly
Then we're like, "Why do we have to go?"
Right
To get in touch with the school's problems they
observe a parents' meeting for some reason
This doesn't really concern us students
Lecture Hall
Over here, everyone
Head Teacher
Kendo Kobayashi
You're late!
We were waiting for you all and yet you're slow
Even though we specially let you come and see
You came late
Sorry
Sit down already!
Sit down already!!
He's really mad
Really sorry about that everyone
Just sit already!!
He's super mad
They all waited for you, all the parents
Sorry about that
Hurry up and sit down!!
I'm already sitting
Isn't he too scary
Take a seat, really sorry about that everyone
Parents' Meeting Start
Well then, let's move to the first topic of discussion
Our school's drama club has won the national tournament
Don't!
Wait!
It's the middle of the parents' meeting! Please wait!
Parent
Miki Mizuno
T/N: Miki Mizuno is an actress who is known for her roles in horror films.
Got a minute?
Mr. Takeda, is something the matter?
There has been a case of bullying in my class
Teacher
Shinji Takeda
T/N: Shinji Takeda is an actor who is known for his roles in thriller movies like The Incite Mill, Kyo Kara Hitman, and Tokyo Eyes.
She said to reveal the perpetrator
Tell me the names of the students who are in the same class
as my son Shiro, if you'd please
Those 5 are in the same class as him
Mr. Kobayashi who are these kids?
They are new students
Searching for the student who bullied her precious child
You (Matsumoto) stand please
You bullied Shiro right?
No I didn't, I don't know him
That's a lie!!
No, really, I don't know him
You really bullied Shiro!!
I really don't know him
Why do you needlessly train your body this much?! What's the meaning of it?
Mrs. Mizuno, please don't be so heavy-handed with the students
He gets that all the time
Takeda!!
The target of her anger turns to the head teacher
You!! It's all because you're not doing your damn job!
I intended to confront with all my students...
What is she doing?
Don't you dare talk back to me!
Do you get it, you asshole?!
The parent's anger becomes abnormal
[More unintelligible screaming]
Stand!!! Stand I say!!!
Mrs. Mizuno!?
Has she gone off the deep end?
That was so scary
Get out of here
That's insane
What?
Wait just a minute here, what even
Sorry
I lost my composure there
Oh, really? However, Mrs. Mizuno,
Your son, Shiro, is
quite a cheerful honors student so
it doesn't seem that his personality is very prone to bullying, but
Is there something about Shiro that has changed?
About Shiro... Has anything changed, indeed
Maybe Shiro worried about that
Remembering a certain day's incident
This kind of relationship isn't allowed, but I love you
It's been three years since I started cheating
Someday I want to be with you
I'll make sure my husband doesn't find out, and especially my son
Now in the school, Shiro...
Why are you here?
You say, who is this person?
If I'm going to say it, then your mother will be straight with you
Your mother has fallen in love with someone that has a wife and kids
In any case, I get chills because they have a wife and kids
I'd be lying if I said it wasn't scary
Even so, it's almost uncontrollable how much
I get aroused by a man with a happy family!
Even more than that, Shiro!
Where are you going? Come back at once! Shiro!
Just raising Shiro right
Was my only happiness...
What is she doing?
What is she doing, really?
Hey what is this?!
That's pretty self-important coming from a fat cat like you!
Everyone knows!
You're dating a teacher right!
Bitter heckling from parents who can't put up with it any more
I am?
It's useless to play dumb!
Of course he gets bullied with a thoughtless mother like that!
What are you saying?
There's no way I'd be dating a teacher or
anything like that!!
You're all just
talking out of your asses!!
Miki
Enough already
Let's tell everyone honestly
Her extramarital lover is, improbably, Fujiwara
What a ham
Wait, what are you saying?
Wait, what
My relationship with you getting found out is fine with me
Love between a teacher and parent is prohibited
But I fell in love with you,
And I can't help it
Hiroshi
Your face, are you tired?
You too Hiroshi, these age spots, what will we ever do about them?
Eh-heh
I'll quit being a teacher.
I'm only a fraction of a man for not choosing to make you happy
He's only funny in moments like this
What is he on about?
Stop that
Last is COWCOW's trademark pose
T/N: COWCOW is a comedian duo who have won a few awards for their manzai.