Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie BabyStand Shion Kenny Shizentaisuu Carley G. EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: papi's bolgy-wolgy-yummy-cummies Sacro pencillover12 carebu kannibleklown Nigel Spencer Hamilton Textualpoacher Vladimir Krasiy tommysenarii Elestriel Andrew Grice Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread
What?
What's this?
Scary...
This is kinda scary
What's that?
"Lift it together with its plate", it says...
What does it mean?
It's so cold
If it's from the headhunter tribe... Is it a head?
No way
Just gimme a break, come on
What the hell?
Monkey-Hamada's head
What's that?
Geez
Really, what's with this?
What's this? For real, what the heck
Yeah, what the--
This is incredible
Do we have to eat this thing?
We can't eat this
Yeah...
What is this? Look
Woah
Huh? But look here
Try to take a bite
There's a line, can you see it?
Maybe you can open it?
Maybe we can open it from the hair
Maybe
Let me try
This looks gross
What the-- come on
Please, enjoy eating its brain
This is so fucked up
They brought some creepy stuff...
Disgusting
Such a poor taste
It's incredible
Horrible
Try to eat it
It takes a lot of courage
It takes courage, of course, what's this?
This kinda feels rude
I bet it does
Right?
Looks hard
It's stiff
It's hard, isn't it?
Can you stop holding it by the cheekbone?
Like this?
I don't know how to hold it
Where should I?
Matsumoto pointed that out
I mean, holding the head...
I have to hold it...
Well, yeah, I know but...
Isn't it better if you hold it from the hair?
Where should I...?
Just like that, yes
This thing is so hard
It's really well made
Yeah
It's incredible
Taste it
Here I go
It's delicious!!
You're laughing
He just laughed
It's good
It's really good
Brain = strawberry ice cream
Strawberry?
Strawberry ice
It is
Yeah, but still...
This is incredible
Wow, it's really...
It was really good
It's really incredible
It looks like a tilted hat
It's slightly tilted...
That looks odd
What a surprise
But it's amazing
Yeah
Yes
It went good at least
Well yes, it was good
And we're done with your drawers
Let it freeze
Let's freeze it back
It's the headhunting clan's snack
Yama-chan, we haven't seen your drawers yet
You're right !!
He's right...
It took us so long
Yeah
Isn't it right?
Right
Yes
See?
Woah
Mysterious manuscript & key
What's this now?
This is...
It's the same as Hamada's
Again?
It's exactly the same
It's the golden thing...
Prove your brave spirit via the devil's mouth. A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you.
It's the same as before
What the hell?
That really stunk
Be careful
Can't help it
He's right, be careful
Be careful
This...
We don't know if it's the same for sure
You're right
But still, it's scary
It is
I'm going
Yes
Ok
I'm scared
Wha--
What's that?
Does it stink?
No...
It's sweet!
It doesn't even stink...
Hosei, let's go get changed, ok?
I'm going
I see...
So that was the point of it...
So that's the reason...
A change of costume for Hosei, who always causes trouble
Hosei, who causes trouble every year, will have to change his costume
What will this year's costume be?
Ehh? What's this?
Give me a break...
We're waiting for him to change clothes again
Yeah
Just like every year
That position is no good
Yeah, this spot is really not good
I know
Does it stick to this year's theme?
Tutankhamun costume
I wish they could stop this
I told them I felt bad for you and such...
Thanks for your concern
Why does it always have to be me?
Well
We don't get dirty
Even if you say so...
This is really...
Sorry to say
It's harsh on me, I'm 50 years old, you know
Yeah
That's true
Hosei, oh Hosei
What?
Art thou perhaps making fun of us?
Huh?
Life dwells inside the idols
Woah, impressive
Eh? What's this?
It's incredible
Amazing
Really cool
We are the Apobis
They're talking
We've been at king Tutankhamun's service
We've been at King Tutankhamun's service
as dark shamans since ancient times
Hey, Hosei. What is scum like you doing in that outfit?
Art thou perhaps insulting our king?
That's not it
Is this an affront to him?
They all spoke together
You're wrong
They arranged this for me
Those who ridicule our king won't be forgiven
And for those who face our wrath,
only a fate of misery awaits them
This is incredible
It was surprising
Feast thine eyes on this and realize
Incredible
It was 1949
John Wood III, a multimillionaire antique collector
Found Tutankhamun's royal treasure, protected by the Pipopo clan for generations and stole it
The wooden idol
The ancient mummy
The golden chalice
But on these three hidden treasures...
Curse
There lied a terrible curse
While returning
The seven treasure hunters
Led by John Wood III
Mysterious deaths
Started to die under mysterious circumstances, one after another
And even though John Wood III himself managed
Even John Wood III...
To bring the treasures to his mansion
A few days later
A violent storm suddenly started
And he was struck dead by lightning
Death
All their deaths
Were said to be the result of divine punishment
Ancient Mummy's divine punishment
Brought by the ancient mummy
Hosei, in order to escape from mine divine punishment
Yeah
there is only one way and that is...
The bonds with your friends
We'll now proceed to ask your friends
some questions about you, Hosei
And if they manage to answer within 10 seconds...
Thou shall be freed from the divine ass-whacking punishment
Wait...
However...
If they won't be able to answer...
The divine punishment for Hosei shall be executed
Failing the quiz = punishment for Hosei
I'm counting on you guys
This is different from the other years
But we have no idea what they'll ask us
Even if you say so...
But maybe
If it's some personal stuff, then...
Yeah, what can we do?
Maybe Matsumoto is the most suited...
It could be, but...
You two know me a lot too
We've had tons of fun together, haven't we?
It's true but...
We'll just try our best
Yeah
Come on
Can you stop saying "we had fun" or such?
Please
Let's stop setting traps too, okay?
Isn't it obvious?
He's right
We don't want to
You really think we want your butt to be slapped?
We'll work hard to protect it
I'm begging you, please
Count on us
Yeah
For real
Yeah
Yes
Alright?
Alright then, let's ask Hamada
What?
Hosei's birthday...
Which month and which day is it?
Hosei's birthday is...?
You know it, don't you?
We know each other since 30 years
I'm so sorry but
I really have no idea
You're sorry? I know yours!
Yeah but... I don't know
You should know this
Incorrect answer
Oh come on, that's hard
Wait a moment! Hey!
He didn't say anything!!
I'm sorry, was it June...?
It's not June
Not even close
Wait a moment
W-wait
I have no idea, really
THAT HURT!!
Ow ow ow ow, it hurts
Oh god
Wait
Please, just stop
Stop moving like that!
Stop doing that
That's too much
You can't do that
Please, stop moving like that
I swear I'll stop, I'll stop
I get that hurt just now
Here's the answer
ANSWER: FEBRUARY 15TH
Man, I really didn't know
It was that
Hamada-san, yours is on the 11th of May!
Yes, thank you---
"Thank you" my ass!
You're right
That's completely wrong!
We're sorry, we're sorry
But please, let's just
Try to get along
Wait a sec--
Let's get along
Alright
Something like this
Is what we don't want to happen right now
Yes, we gotta keep our bond
Also, that comical way of moving is no good
I'm not trying to be comical
I've said this before
"My ass is done for" - I said it, didn't I?
I said it, didn't I?
What was that for?
What is he talking about?
Alright, we got it
Wait, wait---
Please wait
That's too much
That guy hits hard
It friggin' hurts
Even just now he...
This can't be good
It only took one hit to become like this
It looks bad
For real
I really thought it came off
Alright but really
I don't think it will come off, ok?
Hang in there
I'm sorry for that
NOW, LET'S ASK MATSUMOTO
Yessir
Please, wait...
Which university did Hosei attend?
That one, yes?
Q. Which university did Hosei attend?
You know I went there
I have no idea
Remember I told you when I was 30 I decided to study again?
So... Ok?
I have no idea!!
INCORRECT
How am I supposed to know that?
I really don't know
Yeah, me neither
I didn't know that
What's this?
I wonder which one is it
Please...
AAAAH!
Stop--
Stop that, please
We said enough of that
Those moves...
Stop moving like that
Didn't we?
Alright?
Please stop moving like that, Hosei
That's the issue here
You're overdoing it, geez
Come on
What the hell?
Just try to hold it
We have to do something about this...
I know it's painful, but that...
I think he knows it
But...
That looks bad
I think that
We could have figured it out
I think I know the answer
Which is it?
I have no idea
It's just like your name, isn't it?
Just like my name?
What do you mean?
What?
Hosei University, right?
I couldn't get into that school!
The correct answer is...
Rissho University
I had no idea
ANSWER: RISSHO UNIVERSITY
Ahh, now that they said it...
I mean I know there is Hosei University, but I also knew it was wrong
Now I remember
We have to do something
This is really bad
It was kinda impossible for us
I'm done for
Use that to cool him down
Ah! You're right! Right, right, right!
We have the right stuff here
What--?
Here's the good stuff
No way
What's with "good stuff"?
Ah, that?
I mean, this is an emergency
Here
Woah
Are you using that?
This will cool him down
Yeah but... that?
Is it working?
It's cold, but...
No way, wait...
I think that...
Maybe it's better like this
Yeah, definitely
No way, come on
You gotta be kidding me
We had to do this
We have to cool him down
But really
This is really effective, I think
I think so too
It will quickly cool him down
Yeah, it feels better now
See?
Now, let's ask Endo
Now it's Tanaka, right?
Oh, I'll give my best
Go for it
I'm counting on you
What lessons
Yes
Did Hosei take during his childhood?
Eh? Which is it?
Q. What lessons did Hosei take during his childhood?
It's something I learnt, come on, I'm always saying it
"I'm good at this" - I always say that!
Ah! T-then I'll go for it...
You can do it! Come on, say it!
It's...
You can do it! Come on, say it!
Kendo
T/N: Kendo is a swords martial arts that requires wearing armor and using wooden swords or bamboo swords for practice. There are a few Gaki no Tsukai episodes where Hosei shows off his kendo skills.
Alright!
INCORRECT
What?!
Huh?
Huh? Why?
Wasn't it kendo?
Wait a sec...
But it's kendo
Yeah, it's kendo
It's kendo
It's kendo!!
IT HURTS!!
But...
Wait, wait, wait
What are you doing?
What the hell
Why did they walk together?
Gimme a break!
What the hell, man
Come on
Give us a break
Wait a second
What was that just now?
Are you alright?
What the--
Wait a moment...
Was it wrong?
The answer was "painting lessons"
ANSWER: PAINTING LESSONS
I mean, I went there
But for just two months
Well, I guess that's it...
It was just for two months
How could we guess it?
I mean, you said it yourself
But I did kendo for 13 years
While I had painting lessons for just two months
Alright, alright...
Wait, guardian deities...
Enough, just forgive them
He's going for it
Guardian deities
Please listen to me, oh guardian deities
I know this is so sudden, but from now on
Can all the four of them answer together?
They're all my precious allies, I swear!!
Alright, let's ask Hamada
Eh? Geez...
They won't listen
What was...
What?
You have to answer
The name of the sisters duo
Hosei worked with as a producer?
Q. What's the name of the sisters duo Hosei worked with as a producer?
You know it! "A"! "A"! "A"! "A"!
Ehhh?
You know it! "A"! "A"! "A"! "A"!
"Ah"? "A"? Alright
Yeah, it's "A" !!
"Ah"? "A"? Alright
Like that, yes
"Ah"? "A"? Alright
Like that, yes
A... A...
That's right
"Ai" you said that
A- Ai?
That's it! One more time
INCORRECT
Ai?
That's it!!
We did it!!
We did it, we did it!!
We did it!
Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhh!!
YAAAAAAAAAY!!
He just broke
OWWWWW!!
We broke him
Man we did it
He's broken
We finally broke him
Hosei's broken
I had no idea, man
CORRECT ANSWER: AiAi
Cool him down, quick
Now that they said it I remember
Look
This isn't good
Let's put it here
Spread it
This is messed up...
Like this
What the hell are you doing?
How is this?
No way
Doesn't it feel good?
Does it hit the spot?
He's looking here
I really don't know
Looks good
It feels like Hamada is protecting you
Thanks
No way it feels like that
Yeah, I think it's good
Are there still questions left?
I swear
Can't they just forgive us?
Yeah, isn't that enough?
For real...
Enough of that
Alright, our next one will be our final question
That's the last one
Let's ask Matsumoto
Yes?
Who was
The co-host lady for Hosei's TV show "Tensai TV-kun"?
T/N: "Tensai TV-kun" was a TV show aimed towards elementary and middle school children that adults could also enjoy.
Q. Who was the co-host lady for Hosei's tv show "Tensai TV-kun"?
A lady?
I have no clue
Here's a big hint "Risa something"
Risa Stickmayer!
INCORRECT
Eh?
It was correct
Was he too late?
You'll be fine, don't worry
Hamada will protect you
Don't worry
It opened up at the end
Something came out
Oh, you're right
Looks like tinfoil came out from Hamada's head
So many things are happening...
Wasn't that the correct answer?
Yeah it was
The correct answer was "Risa Stegmayer"
ANSWER RISA STEGMAYER
Ah, I said "Risa Stick-"...
I see, it was "Steg"...
"Steg"
That was so unfair
"Risa Stegmayer"...
BURN IN HELL!!
What do they mean?
Eh? Scary, they said "burn in hell"...
That was impressive
Yeah, it was
It's over now, isn't it?
Yes
That surprised me
What a terrible time we had
We tried our best, but the questions were too difficult...
That's true
We couldn't get them right
Hosei let's go get changed
So quick!
Hosei let's go get changed
He left the room so quickly!
It's 5 P.M. and they're waiting for Hosei to get back
9 HOURS SINCE THE START
Oh, welcome back
Much appreciated
That was insane
It really hurt like crazy
I bet it did
Man, today's been harsh...
Thanks for the cushion
That must hurt a lot
We didn't know as much as we thought
You really don't know anything
There were like 2 questions for each of us, that's 8 hits...
I guess 10 hits would have been way too much
Yes, no way
That was absurd
Huh?
Are you sure your ass really hurts?
It really hurts
You seem too normal to me!!
I'm not normal
It's been burning this whole time
I'm shocked to be honest, you don't know anything about me
Unsatisfied by the quiz's results
I know a lot about you
What's my blood type?
Let's see...
It's A
It's O
I mean, blood types...?
If we did all four at once
If only the four of us could have answered together...
We could avoid a lot of this
That's right
Right, that's we should've done, probably
How about I tell you?
Endo is Type O
Hamada is Type A, Matsumoto Type B, Tanaka Type O
Originally you told me AB
But then you changed it to O
I know all of you!
What's Tanaka's birthday?
Yours is
April 26th
Endo!!
You...
You have a birthday, don't you...
Obviously I do
See, it's like that
It's like that
Come on, you...
You shut up real quick
He stopped immediately
Just now, Endo was shocked!!
Yeah, even though I answered quickly
Hamada is May 11th
Matsumoto is September 8th, the same as my eldest son
Oh really? Your eldest son has the same birthday as me?
That's right! I've told you so many times!!
When he was born, I immediately called you!!
Oh yeah...
Sorry I just, y'know...
Come on...
Matsumoto, that's no good
Right Hamada? It's the same birthday
Yes
Wait a sec
Honestly, since it was your third child
Right
I wouldn't have made that connection
Ah! You scared me!!
You guys good?
You silently slipped in here, huh...
You really shocked me
The exhibition room seems to have been burglarized.
Let's go take a look!!
The exhibition room holding that treasure
has been burglarized! They hurry to the scene!!
Burglarized?
Isn't that relaxing
Exhibition Room
It's decorated
The police are currently investigating. Could you line up here?
Detective
Kendo Kobayashi
T/N: Kendo Kobayashi is a comedian who regularly makes appearances on the Batsu game, often playing a detective role.
Shiiiiit
This exhibition's most valuable treasure
The golden collar was stolen
How did they slip past these impregnable defenses?
Searching for clues about the culprit
Case Note
Inspector!!
Did you find something?
We believe we've found the culprits- a 3 man team
"We aren't thieves"
"We're comedians" they said...
Comedians?
3 men calling themselves comedians!?
Case Note
Whatever, bring them in!
Yes sir!
Oi! Get in here!
T/N: The Kameda Brothers are three professional boxers comprised of Daiki, Koki, and Tomoki Kameda. Kameda Shiro is their father, who has also appeared in the American Police Batsu.
Terakado Jimon
Kameda Koki
Katsuhiro Higo
Kameda Daiki
Ueshima Ryuhei
Kameda Shiro
What are they doing?
Ueshima Ryuhei (the real one)
T/N: Ueshima Ryuhei is a comedian who is one of the regular members of the loincloth gang skits in the Batsu.
It looks just like him!
He does look like him
They had the look down perfectly
You're the bandit gang "The Kameda Family" aren't you!
No way! We're Dachou Club!
T/N: The Dachou Club is a 3-member comedian group comprised of Higo Katsuhiro, Terakado Jimon, and Ueshima Ryuhei. The Kameda Brothers are imitating the Dachou Club.
Come on...
We're Dachou Club!!!
Hey, jump! What are you doing?
Jump, damnit!!!
Stop dawdling!
What even is happening right now?
What are those 3 doing?
It's crazy
I disagree
I don't think you're the Dachou Club
We're getting nowhere... What should I do!!
You're too careless!!
Famous actor
This year's comedians' life-on-the-line festival!
Hosei, as usual
Uproars for the New Year's treasure hunt!
We're getting nowhere... What should I do!!
You're too careless!
Takashima, sir!
What exactly is going on here?
A confusing guy just entered...
Yes he did
Though they're the Kameda Family thieves
They insist that they are Dachou Club
Senior Detective
Takashima Masahiro
T/N: Takashima Masahiro is a famous actor, well known for his roles in crime and mystery dramas.
If you're the real Dachou Club
You'd work together better, and be more nimble
Why are you the only old one?
Because you're the only old one...
What the hell, who are you talking to?
You want to do this?
Oh? You want to do it?
You wanna go?
Oh yeah?
Are they really...?
Could it be...
We doing it?
They're doing it?
Smooch
That's his son!
A kiss between fighting father and son
That's his son
What are this father and son doing?
Even if you go as far as to say that
Let's try the piping hot oden- Hey, bring it in
Verifying the Legendary Comedians with Piping Hot Oden
Case Note
I see...
Hey!
Why's this all on me?
You're the leader, so you do something!
Why do I, the leader, have to do it?!
Do it!
Why should I do it?!
Guys, stop!
What will this fight uncover?
It's you!!
For some reason Takashima is in his underwear
What the hell?
You guys aren't Dachou Club
TAKE THEM AWAY!!
Yes sir!
What?!
We're Dachou Club!
Verified as fakes, they are forced out of the room
Case Note
WE'RE DACHOU CLUB!
I didn't think they were
Yeah, they're definitely fake
Okay! Let's get back to the investigation.
Yes sir!
Continuing the investigation in his underwear
Why just underwear?
They dropped this whip-like thing
Lost Leather Whip
Case Note
T/N: "SM" refers to sadomasochism.
SM is my favorite hobby, so
I'm bursting with excitement!
Inspector Takashima's pervert switch flipped
Hey you - I like the way you're looking at me
Yeah
Please hit me with this
No, I'm okay
Please hit me with this
I'm okay
So, I uh...
Wait, Takashima
It won't hurt at all, so hit me
No way
Seriously?
Hit me harder
More!
I can't feel it, so hit harder!
Harder! Hit me for real! Harder! Good!
Tear my ass up until I pass out!
HIT ME HARDER!!
What was he saying?
He's perverted, seriously!
He's crazy!
Masahiro!
It's the night of New Year's Eve, what are you doing?
Really, what are you saying?
Scary
What kind of training did you do
What kind of training did you do to get those eyes?
You are totally a super masochist, right?
Uh... Is that so...
That is...
That's...
Anyway,
who is the culprit!!
Inspector Takashima
What is that stuck to your underwear?
That's the decoration from
the golden collar, isn't it?!!
A red feather only the culprit would have
Case Note
I don't know! Someone must have stuck it to me!
Come to think of it, when the crime occurred, you had left to buy cigarettes!
It's a coincidence that I left!
I've never seen someone run out of smokes with such precision!
You're the culprit!
You ungrateful little!
You fools! Get him out of here!
The real culprit was Inspector Takashima
Case Note
That's a great ending
I have a reputation to protect!!
What are you saying dressed like that!!
Shut up idiot!
No one could respect you, in your underwear!
This back and forth
The case is closed with this ending
Case Note
I know
A group of Happy Boys takes the stage
EVERYBODY COME ON
WOW!!
Thank You
ThankYou
WELCOME TO HAPPY BOY! We're here!
Kameda Family
Takashima Family
Okada Family
Where art thou?
Hey Hey
Doko ni itta? Where'd you go? Where'd you go?
This self deprecation is impressive~
I'm not a Happy Boy now, I'm a Lonely Boy
All alone
Stupid Stupid Stupid
That aside
Takashima!! That's a great nude look!!
Excellent!!Come on!
Excellent!! Come on!
On New Year's Eve crawling on all fours
YAY
Takashima Family's disgrace
Even for my comedy training, I
Spank Spank Spank
Is this the time for that?!!
Moron!! Come on!
HAPPY BOY
WOW!!
What the hell is this?
Comedy training spank spank spank
It's good that he enjoys it so much!!
EVERYBODY
HAPPY BOY
WOW!!
Why?
I got it
Watching me bomb
Hey Hey
Look at me!! Look at me!!
(Just Okada) Not enough practice!!
Not enough practice!!
Man... How many times does he plan on turning around?
Really?
This year, Happy Boy is still happy, huh
6:00 PM - 10 hours have passed
And they're complaining about the physical punishments
What's wrong?
Muscle pain
Muscle pain? From what?
Yes
Muscle pain? From what?
Don't Get Caught
When they hit your butt, your whole upper half goes like this
You stiffen, yeah
Oh, how does it go?
It goes *slap* And then you go, "Ahh!"
Around here the muscle tightens up