Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: (This Part): Shizentaisuu Carley G. EcksDee Typesetters (This Part): Sacro Carebu Kannibleklown Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: Konohana Niji John Dread Oolong
An abyss of deprived emotions
It's at that time you fall into a state of ecstasy
Fall to the depths of ecstasy
Gaki no Tsukai's most popular series
No Laughing Treasure Hunter
This year's theme is Treasure Hunter!
The assassins of laughter
The strongest lineup
This year's assassins are truly impressive
Shut the hell up, midget! Sit down
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!
Famous actresses,
An enthusiastic performance by any means
big time actors,
It's you?!
The hell are you doing?!
Assassins from every genre
Enter with unbeatable gags one after the other
assassins from every genre imaginable, enter with unbeatable gags one after the other
An explosion of emotions
A flock of extravagant guests in a Team Battle!!
A gathering of extravagant guests face off in battle!!
Storms of criticism
Storms of criticism for Downtown who drag the teams down
Escape from the oni
A big time star takes part in the challenge
This time, a world-famous star takes part
A variety baptism without mercy
They become victims to even bigger traps
So you're the descendant!!
Incorrect
He is given a chance to escape the slap?!
Hosei's long time enemy, Chono enters!
He's given a chance to escape Chono's slap!
I drank it! I drank it!
A story straight from hell!!
A midnight treasure hunt
ends in a scream and shriek filled climax!
A treasure hunt full of screams
don't miss the climax for anything!
T/N: Japan uses eras based on the emperor's ascension to the throne. The current one is Heisei, but Emperor Akihito plans to abdicate the throne in April 2019, thus the start of a new era.
The last 6 hour special of the Heisei Era
Another 6 year showdown of the Heisei Era
End of the year special episode: 24 hours No Laughing Treasure Hunter!
Absolutely no laughing
Treasure Hunter
24 hours!
Downtown
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Hamada Masatoshi
Ready?
Tsukitei Hosei
Thank you!
Cocorico
Endo Shozo
Tanaka Naoki
Everyone's so energetic
We know it!
This is something we see every year
Yep!
You guys are only like this at the start!
It's the truth
You're gonna be so tired later on
This year's theme is Treasure Hunter
Treasure Hunter
When you hear Treasure Hunter, a question mark appears...
Trust me, after watching the show
That question mark will remain in place
Even after watching?
After all that?!
It'll stay
Every year...
Well what can you do
Alright, let's start Matsumoto, engage VTR
Please watch the videoooooooooooooooooooo~
Enough already!!
No Laughing Treasure Hunter
There it is...
Started pretty early
The first morning
The invigorating light of the sun
The members' battle
greets our members before their battle
This year I, uh, I'm gonna go home in the middle of the day
That's sneaky
Yeah, the staff told me
"Matsumoto, if you want to go home, uh, go for it..."
No way...
Everyone wants that
Among the staff pretty much everyone agreed
"If you're feeling tired, just go home"
Oh, the sun came out
Oh yeah, feels nice
"Wait here!"
T/N: Matsumoto kicked it and knocked it over in the previous year.
Looks like they made it heavier so we can't knock it over
Who would knock it over?!
Oi!!
I didn't notice him at all
There he is
Coming from pretty far away
He's riding something...?
Giddy-up!
Fujiwara Hiroshi
Downtown's old manager
Can you tell what he is?
He's doing it this year too
A horse?
Makes sense he'd yell "giddy-up" then
Heeey!!
He's got a great face this year too
Whoaa~!!
The horse's legs are stiff
Giddy-up!
The legs are rigid
His front...
His legs and tail are completely stiff!!
"Woooah!" He's scared stiff!
That's right
"Woooah!" He's scared stiff!
You hear?
He's frozen
What's with that outfit?
I'm great at riding horses, man
He's just praising himself?
The only people who can ride horses with such talent in show biz are
Either me or Matsudaira Ken, you gnow... Know
T/N: Matsudaira Ken is a famous actor who is well known for his roles in Japanese historical dramas. He has several scenes where he plays a lord on horseback.
Either me or Matsudaira Ken, you gnow... Know
His previous line was weird
Not only did you mispronounce, but also your name is "Hiroshi" so that makes it confusing
T/N: Fujiwara's line for "in show biz" included "Hiroshi" which is also a homonym for his first name. So Matsumoto hints that it sounded like "The only Hiroshis in show biz could do such horseriding are..." There was no way to make that joke make sense in English.
Not only did you mispronounce, but also your name is "Hiroshi" so that makes it confusing
So, about this year's theme...
I ask Hosei for his guess every year,
Because his jokes never work out
I'm gonna select our three helpers, Hosei, Endo and Tanaka
By working together, make a guess for this theme with an airhead joke and present it
An airhead joke about the theme?
Theme?
An airhead joke about the theme...
Should be obvious just by looking
It's surprisingly hard to tell
He came in on a horse
Working together...
He has a horse...
How about a nurse?
Might be good
I think it'll work
Eh?
A pilot might be good too...
Nah, nurse is better than pilot
Go with nurse then
You're taking too long!
Say it together on my mark
Alright
Here we go
Ready-mark!
Nurse!
Hey!!
If you 3 thought about it together, it should've been 3 times as funny
Instead you're one third as funny!
I wanted to say that
The theme is already determined anyway
Even if you say that...
But yeah, nurse was really damn unfunny
You should've told us when we were discussing
You were there, listening!
Dental hygenist would have worked
He's laughing
He's laughing, so nonchalantly
See, he's laughing
They were really similar, so
Okay whatever
This year's theme is Treasure Hunter
Can there be a specialty like that?
...'sfine
" 'sfine" ?
He's using Kansai dialect
I was just asking if we're really covering such a worldwide topic for this
Our beginner Treasure Hunters start
their grueling occupation!
And now
After becoming Treasure Hunters
Every time, look at Hosei
They embark on their 24 hour challenge
Don't you have a better picture?!
I said Treasure Hunter but what's with those outfits?
We've prepared some boxes for you to change in, let's go
they must dress appropriately
In order to become Treasure Hunters
First step to becoming a treasure hunter
is to change into fitting clothes
Hosei is always last, isn't he?
Until recently
It's been you for five years though
Everyone ready?
Yep
Alright
Open!!
*cough*
Why the cough
Y'all look a lot better in uniform
He's got a cold?
Hamada's the only one with a wig
We look good?
Last year we got in a heap of trouble over Hamada
So this year we kept your outfit normal
There's nothing normal about this!
I see
He's the only one too
I'm not normal looking at all!
Seriously, this guy
Is that your own wig?
What the hell
It fits a bit too well
How about we swap?
I'm always the one wearing this, so you guys do the blackface
I really don't like last year's look though
It's no good
We had that incident last year
As if we could do it again
How long are you going to complain?
We get hit and then after it's over, we still get hit
Rules of the game
The rules are simple
Be Treasure Hunters and work hard
During your duties, you must not laugh
Upon laughing, receive a punishment
No matter what happens while on duty, you absolutely may not laugh
That is all
Alright, the bus is going to come here, so just wait
Heipo themed?
It fits the theme but looks kinda plain
Looks camouflaged
Omame Archaeological Research Institute
Here's what we got this year
Heipo Foundation
Archaeological Institute of Omame
T/N: "Omame" means bean, which is Heipo's nickname because of how short he is.
That's where you'll be working
No, it's weird
The name sounds like we'll be researching beans
It's 'archaeology' but we're researching beans?
This is the commuter bus for the foundation
The bus was first thought up by the founder, Heipo
And now, they head towards the institute
When you step on this bus, the game will start
Here we go
Let's go
I'm already sick of it
We'll be going back and forth here too
Being the first to get on sucks
That's right
Let's get through it
I want to go by foot
I don't like this part
Are we not allowed to walk to the Omame Institute?
We're taking the bus
Here's where it starts
I'll go first
Please do
Treat me well...
No Laughing Treasure Hunters 24 hours
Yep, that's how it is...
...No, that's wrong
This isn't okay
You can't just stay out here
What?!
I got off the damn bus!!
I laughed after getting off!!
I got on and
then got off again!
It starts when you get on so
How many times have we done this?
They don't appear for this kind of thing, I think
Receive a slap on the ass from the Black Army
If you do a flashback, you'll see that it doesn't happen
Enough of this!
Getting on, getting on
Get this underway
Here we go
This place is pretty sweet though
Sit in our regular seats
The seats seem to be...
Over here
They got seat dividers too
As they set off for the lab, what will happen next?
They've finally started moving toward the institute,
Who knows what will happen from now on!
As if waiting for the curtain to rise,
the laughter assassins are now ready to appear
Arriving at a bus stop
What have we got here?
The worst, seriously!
Whadya want?
Don't be staring at West High's boss, Yuko-san!
Underling
West High's Boss
Yuki Himura
Masayasu Wakabayashi
Don't be staring at West High's boss, Yuko-san!
Knock it off, Waka, you asshole!!
Sorry
What good is there in picking a fight with losers like them?
Sorry
T/N: Senpai is used as a suffix for people who are above you in grade, rank, etc.
But Yuko-senpai
Why are we here?
Cuz of Haruna from East High
Yuko, that's bad!
West High
East High
A battle of the leaders
When East High's Haruna snaps, she's untouchable
the cruelest boss in town!
Even a great leader like you will be sent to the hospital!
I've got no choice, dumbass!
Yuko!
Haruna Kawaguchi
East High Boss
If it isn't the small fry West High scum
Don't mess with me, bitch!
Who you calling small fry?
Come at me, you toad
Did you just call me a toad?!
Don't mess with me!
Who do you think you're talking to?
You got a problem?
Hey you with the lips
Let's go!
Try me!
Underling Wakabayashi's Plea
Asks to stop their fighting
Stop them!
Come on, stop them!
Please
SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN, MIDGET!!
Midget, really...
I didn't even say anything
Coming at me like that...
If the teenage drama "Code Blue"
can capture your interest every week, and make you weep,
an eyesore of an entertainer like you
has got no business telling me what to do!
An old fart nearing his 60th birthday who watches "Cold Blue"
like a die hard fan is quite something!
She's got a point
I was watching it, but it wasn't...
Also
You promised to go to your wife's show
which is great and all
but then you overslept and ran late, so
she made you beg for forgiveness on your hands and knees backstage
No, wait
She really has that much power over you?
I wasn't on my hands and knees
You're just worn out garbage
just like Shimoda Kageki
T/N: Shimoda Kageki is a 78-year-old author and actor with a really eccentric look.
I didn't know about that
On your hands and knees!?
No, I wasn't!
But I definitely was late!
Watching Code Blue is up there too
I just watched it once
Bring it on you bitch!
Let's go, toad face
T/N: Inari is a sushi dish made of a fried tofu skin pouch with sushi rice inside.
Your face looks like rotten inari sushi
Who you calling rotten inari face?
Of course, you!
Hey baldy, could you stop their fighting?
Baldy, get over here and stop them
Is that how this is going to play out?
Excuse me could you plea-
SHUT UP, RAKUGO COMEDIAN!!
JUST GO SIT DOWN, LIKE YOUR RAKUGO SKITS
HURRY UP AND SIT DOWN
While trying to setup this scene
Gaki no Tsukai staff
sent out requests for any juicy information
and nobody but Osaka Honwaka TV's assistant producer
T/N: Osaka Honwaka TV is a variety show that airs on Sunday nights. Some big name comedians are on the show, but it's not nearly as popular as other big name varieties.
responded for a piece of garbage like you
You got no place to stick your nose in other's fights
Just how few goddamn connections do you have!?
Honwaka's assistant producer shared
this story with us
From Osaka Honwaka TV's Assistant Producer
Whenever we record with Hosei-san, we provide an
assortment of dishes a la carte for his catering needs, but
T/N: Hineri Age is a lightly fried rice cracker snack. Pretty plain and ordinary.
he eats nothing but Hineri Age snacks
Isn't that just the weakest excuse for a scoop!!
How the hell are you this boring that you only have this story?!
There's more from that assistant producer
From the same assistant producer
From Osaka Honwaka TV's Assistant Producer
He has a habit of writing things down so he doesn't
forget anything, but
since he writes with such huge letters
he has to replace his notebook every week
What's with this bullshit excuse for a story!
Even the assistant producer was struggling to write this shit
Hosei didn't even do anything bad
Right?
Nobody thought ill of you
Well then
are we gonna go at it or not, make up your mind!
What's holding you back? Let's go, ugly!
You're the one who's scared!
You two, the ones without any presence, could you stop them?
Absolutely no presence
Ah excuse me
Don't even bother getting up
You guys aren't successful enough to bother with
Isn't that a bit harsh?
Shut up divorcee combo
Couldn't help that one, eh?
Don't say it like that
Absolutely insane
Nothing?
Yeah really, nothing?
I feel a bit left out...
What're you gonna do bitch?
Hurry up and bring it!
Hey muscle head help me out here!
Excuse me-
SHUT UP, PROTEIN!!
Does anyone say that?
"Shut up, protein"?
Does anyone say that?
Protein!
Sit down protein!!
"Sit down protein!"
On your daughter's birthday
you tried to secretly buy her a handbag
and trying to get her to laugh, in that handbag
you put in your own action figure
She was so excited about the handbag
that she ignored your action figure
The biggest entertainment failure of the year
isn't going to come busting in here, dumbass!
Seriously, who told you that?
Then you went to Disneyland
and you bought a Mickey Mouse tank top
and went to the bathroom to change like a high school girl
Seriously!?
What's with this entertainer in drag, huh?
Honestly, I thought that would make me stand out less
Hey Waka,
you got a picture of that?
Yeah, I do
You thought that wouldn't stand out!?
He's totally a cross-dresser
That was only the first one
Don't be bringing down dream land!
It's obvious that it's you
You can see it
Why are you showing off your muscles while hiding your face?
Scary...
The delinquents are scary here
Alright let's get out of here, Waka
Please don't leave the picture behind
Amazing levels of aggression from that one
Only 30 minutes since starting
The five's tension
will only fall from here
A rush of punishments
and by no means
But more assassins await
are they letting up
Huh? Looks like we're stopping
Yeah really
They're working over there
Stopping in the peaceful countryside
A standup mic
Last year...
The people we hold in highest esteem is Downtown
We can't allow another relapse
Manzai is a challenging ordeal, a path of greatest resistance we chose
T/N: In the American Police Batsu, Chidori told a joke that no one laughed at.
A year since their tragic failing
This year, we'll absolutely make sure they laugh
The reborn Chidori has arrived
Gaki no Tsukai NEWS
False Charges
To be treated like a criminal on false pretexts
Haruna Kawaguchi as the falsely charged lawyer
A new Saturday drama
Falsely Charged Lawyer
A 15 minute extended debut special
Jan.19 at 10am
Innocence
A new Saturday morning drama begins
Kentaro Sakaguchi, Haruna Kawaguchi, Masao Kusakari, Naohito Fujiki
Innocence, The Falsely Charged Lawyer
The story of saving the innocent who face trumped up charges
A law-based entertainment drama
The reborn Chidori has arrived
Hello! Thanks for having us!
We are Chidori
When I get a vacation,
I'd like to take my family somewhere
Taking good care of your family
T/N: Ryokan is a traditional Japanese inn.
but I don't really know how to make reservations at a ryokan
That's easy though
Really?
All you have to do is call, I'll show you
Dialing: Beep boop beep boop, ring ring ring
Hello?
T/N: Hakubei is a character that Chidori uses in their skits. Hakubei is an elderly person that constantly misunderstands things.
This is the Kisuikan's head hostess, Hakubei
Hakubei? What an amazing name you have
It's spelled with the kanji Shiro (白) and Taira (平)
I don't really care about a name like that
I'd like to make a reservation for my family of three this weekend
Thank you very much
I'd like to confirm your reservation
Chiben Wakayama High School Baseball Club, 80 people
That's incorrect, you're mistaken
Would you be interested in our all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet?
No thanks, I don't want a Chinese buffet at a Japanese inn
A mistake?
Yes, a family of three
You're correct
Of course I am
I'm terribly sorry for the mistake
Uhh...
As an apology...
I'll upgrade your meals to the highest quality
Everyone's focused
I'd like to confirm your reservation again
Is he getting nervous?
Chiben Wakayama High School Baseball Club, 80 people
Yeah
NO! Forget it!
Thank you very much!
THEY DIDN'T LAUGH AT ALL!!
He stumbled a bit
They didn't laugh at even one joke!!
Something's off!!
What!
Your suit is way too huge!
Daigo's suit is too big
The reason they didn't get a laugh
No it's not!
Yes it is
It's huge!
The size of your suit has no impact on the comedy!!
It's ridiculously big!
It was distracting
This isn't a size for a young man
That's just how suits are
That looks like the size of TOMMY's Masa-san
Doesn't matter if we wore Masa-san's size
So, let's go for tight
So if we change our suits it'd be fine
Let's go change!
No, that was Hamada
You laughed when he said Chiben Wakayama
That's not it
He didn't say Chiben Wakayama properly
Oh right, that's what it was
Seriously
So that was why?
It was because he flubbed his line
Hello!
Excuse us, let's begin
Excuse us, hello
You know, I want to go on a trip
Oh that's a nice idea
It's just that I don't know how to make a reservation
That's easy, all you do is call
Is that so?
Yeah, so here, let's try calling
Beep boop beep boop, ring ring ring
Hello, this is Kisuikan's head hostess, Hakubei
Whatever about your name, Hakubei
It's spelled with the kanji Shiro (白) and Taira (平)
I don't really care about the "Shiro" or "Taira"
I'd like to make a reservation for my family of three this weekend
Is that so? Then I'd like to confirm your reservation
Chiben Wakayama High School Baseball Club, 80 people
No, that's wrong!
Would you be interested in our all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet?
No, I don't need that! It's just for a family of three!
You're correct
My sincere apologies!
It's fine, please hurry it up
I'd like to confirm your reservation again
Chiben Wakayama High School Baseball Club, 80 people
No, forget it!
Thank you very much!
WHAT THE HELL!!
What?!
Not ONE of those jokes landed
T/N: He's referring the the Buddhist prayer bead bracelet. A fashionable item that many people believe to have spiritual energy.
Because of your beads!!
That had nothing to do with it
You're emphasizing them too much!
What?
THE BEADS!
Reason the stand-up failed
The beads were too intense
They were a good luck charm, that's normal in comedy
What the hell was that?
They look like a wallet chain that hangs from your back pocket
I really hate thwose
What the hell is "thwose"?!
Let's calm down
We're messing up all of our words
The both of them are fumbling!
They are really working hard out there
Out the window, farmers at work
Hello! We are Chidori
You know, when you have a day off, you want to go somewhere, right?
That's true, that's true
T/N: The proper word is "ryokan".
But I just don't know how to book a ryokon
A "ryokon?"
Beep boop beep boop, ring ring ring
The third attempt was THIS?!
Hello, this is the Kisuikan's head hostess, Hakubei
Hakubei? What an amazing name you have
It's spelled with the kanji Shiro (白) and Taira (平)
I don't really care about the "Shiro" or "Taira"
Fu Ha Fu
Fu ha ha
Fu ha ha...
You may go ahead and laugh
Hold on, hold on!!
Look
A sudden fire!!
Wait!!
WAIT!!
Forget about your manzai for a minute!
Wait, behind you, hold on
Oh man, seriously
HEY~!
A controlled burn!
It's a controlled burn!
HEY, OLD GEEZER!
WE'RE TRYING TO DO STAND-UP!
HEY!
Did you light a goddamn tire on fire?!
This is a critical moment, what are ya doin'?!
The bucket...
Ma'am!
That bucket's not going to be enough
Ma'am!
Ma'am, run faster!
Are they gonna be okay?
This is ridiculous
No way, this is really...
With that bucket it's impossible.
CUT IT OUT!
What are they doing?
That surprised me!!
What the heck?
Ah, I guess they're done
Are you guys okay?!
Daigo really messed up his lines
He screwed up saying "ryokan"
What the hell were you burning to make this big ass fire?!
Why are they running away though?
Aren't they mad?
I guess?
Who knows
The long ride is almost at an end
The research institute is almost within view
We're almost there!
Are we?
Now, the five new recruits
can see the institute from the bus window
But this isn't the finishing line
A new battlefield awaits them
Oh, we're here!!
Finally...
The Heipo Foundation Archaeological Institute of Omame
The location this time:
An institute to find treasure and generate laughs
Assassins and fierce battles will soon appear...
An institute to find treasure and generate laughs
Assassins and fierce battles will soon appear...
Arrival at the research institute
Let's go
We're really here
Let's go, we're here
We made it
This is a statue of the founder of the institute, Heipo
I see
Isn't he cute?
Research Institute Founder
Heipo
Is "cute" the right word?
Isn't his face frickin' huge!?
It's pretty big. Let's go
3rd Floor Hallway
Here's the training room everyone
For now, wait here and
stand by for your instructions
Here it is...
Every single time...
Right?
Rookie Training Room
Always this feeling, always this layout...
This again...
Don't open the drawers yet
Alright
Yeah, we already know
There's all this stuff laying around, huh?
There is
Ah... It's really started
It's started alright
You're laughing!
When you said "It's really started" just now,
you were clearly laughing while saying it
No, I just said it cheerfully
No, I don't know, I wish things were a little more strict
If I did that, I'd definitely be out
Did you just fart?
He farted
He really farted
Huh?
You farted, asshole
Nuh-uh...
What was that?
One hour since the start
The five newbies finally get a break
Coming up...
the terrifying contents of the drawers awaits...
Research Institute - Time elapsed, 1 Hour
But before that, there's an important task
Listen up
Now, you're going to go meet the most respected person,
at the Director's Room to introduce yourselves
Ah, I remember this
The Archaeological Institute of Omame
New recruits must greet the director
Then that should've been the very first thing we do
Seriously
Right?
Yeah
The most respected person...
That's actually pretty rude
Right here, everyone
It was literally right next door
Excuse us!
What a nice room
What a huge room
Seriously
Director's Room
How classy
Alright
It was impossible to know who it was from behind
It really was
Director, I've brought the five new recruits
So, you've finally arrived
You're frickin' kidding me!
Director, I've brought the five new recruits
So, you've finally arrived
Director of the Research Department
Furutachi Ichiro
T/N: Furutachi Ichiro is a very famous announcer, tarento, presenter, and newscaster.
You're frickin' kidding me!!
The five men before me, let us share in this meeting
Today, New Years Eve in Japan, we will share this with the nation
The Director's Style of Greeting
Giving introductions like a reporter
Now, I will issue a challenge to each one of you
I will present these to you as the Director,
and I will take your laughter from you
On this New Year's Eve, I want to
aim for the pinnacle of happiness
This was once Yamasaki Hosei,
a man obsessed with making people laugh with his stories
It felt very sudden when he joined the Tsukitei group,
today being known as Tsukitei Hosei
So now, putting the name of Tsukitei on the line,
with the prestige of Japan's Rakugo society on the line,
let's have a battle of riddles
It's very simple. Think of the name 'Furutachi Ichiro'
I'll repeat. Turn the name 'Furutachi Ichiro' into something funny
Now, let's begin, storyteller
Begin!
When I think of Furutachi Ichiro...
Um... The...
He's a... Major person
With that in mind... With Ichiro we are all Ichiro
You threw mud all over the face of your teacher with that garbage!
No good, that's scary, totally scary!
Wasn't that horrible?
That was no good
That was ridiculous
T/N: Karl Gotch was a professional Belgian wrestler who is known as "The God of Wrestling" in Japan due to his influence on Japanese professional wrestling.
The soldier appears, the Karl Gotch of comedy
T/N: "Tsukkomi" is the comedian who retorts and reacts to the "boke" who acts stupid and says ridiculous things.
A superb comedian with both talents in tsukkomi and boke, and a commentator on "Wide na Show"
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization of the comedy world
Matsumoto Hitoshi makes his appearance
But who is this man?
Likely out of loneliness,
he's making a friend out of his own body,
by building up each cell in his muscles little by little,
creating the tough body he has now
That's right, behind his laugh lies a vortex of muscle
a true culmination of his life's work
I've decided to give you a word puzzle
Let me ask you the question, and answer quickly
What is a new smart phone app that absolutely no one would need?
It might be something fictional,
This was rough
or it might be something that already exists
This was crazy hard
What is a new smart phone app that absolutely no one would need?
Now, Matsumoto, your challenge begins
What is a new smart phone app that absolutely no one would need?
Begin!
A self-destruct feature
He just yelled "self-destruct feature"
So, the master of comedy
bombs sometimes too, huh?
This is impossible
And now I will decide on the anchor
Amazing, this is amazing
Here we have the peerless and aggressive comedian, who plays the straight man
This person who has been called a roadside hyena, Hamada Masatoshi
According to one theory, this man meets with friends night after night
such as with people like Yonekura Ryoko, or perhaps Yanagiba Toshiro
and Maekawa Kiyoshi
It was rumoured he was able to nab explosive laughter from them by doing impressions
T/N: Yonekura Ryoko is an actress, Yanagiba Toshiro is an actor, and Maekawa Kiyoshi is a singer. Basically, Hamada has big-name celebrity friends.
No, no, no
These rumours came in via Israel's intelligence agency Mossad
I didn't do it
Well then, IKKO has been getting popular again so
let's have you challenge doing an impression of IKKO
Come on
Wow, how dirty
3 2 1 Start!!
What the hell~
T/N: IKKO is a stylist/make-up artist/tv personality who is famous for saying "dondake~" while waving a finger. "Dondake~" was nominated as a buzzword in 2007. It means, "How much?!" as a surprise reaction to something of a large amount or quantity.
How's that?
How was that?
Oh, I hear some laughter coming from part of the gallery
Yes, it was definitely funny
But it did not reach the funny level you would call explosive
In this strange atmosphere that has arisen,
I wish to add some more color to this director room
I'll show you what real impressions look like
Come on out!!
What? What?
Well, well, well
Research Institute, Researcher
Hollywood Zakoshisyoh
T/N: Hollywood Zakoshisyoh is a comedian who has appeared in many dramas, variety shows, radio shows, and web series. His comedian name is inspired by Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
All right!
No way?!
All right!
Wait, seriously?!
Whoa...
You gotta be kidding
All right!
Director's style of greetings
He will show them what a real impression looks like
All right!
Right!
Well, shall we start?
First we'll do an overly exaggerated IKKO
Overly exaggerated
IKKO
Oh-oh-oh-oh
T/N: This is one of his signature lines.
Ghooos!!
What on earth?
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ghooos!!
What's that?
What's he doing?
Are you serious?
Seriously
What are you doing?
Really, Furutachi-san, what are you doing?
What are you doing, seriously?
We'll move on to the next one. Next is this
T/N: They are doing an impression of the song, "PERFECT HUMAN" by RADIO FISH, a dance/vocal unit with the same members of comedy duo, Oriental Radio.
Let's go with overly exaggerated PERFECT HUMAN
Overly exaggerated
PERFECT HUMAN
T/N: "Nakata" is the name of one of the comedians in comedy duo Oriental Radio. He actually is singing the song.
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'mma perrrrfect human
Weeeeeeee
live in Tokyo
Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'mma perrrfect human
Ghooos!!
What the hell?
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Na ka ta!
I'm a perrr
fect human
Weeee live in Tokyo
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! I'm a perrrfect
You're the director, right?
human
Thank you very much for watching
Ghooos!!
You're the director, right?
That's right
After you guys take this hit
I expect you to keep things exciting
Good luck!
Thank you very much
Thank you
Let's go
Wow, that was amazing...
He sure was energetic
That director..
It's supposed to be archaeology, but it's really lacking in that department
Completely lacking
We all got hurt
Thank you very much
Oh no, thank you very much
No need to show this scene!!
1 hour and 30 minutes since the start
It's time for the curtain to rise on that segment
Could learn from that
The drawers. Shouldn't we open them?
Shall we?
Right
You said it, finally
It's that time
No, but...
We should think about the order in which we open
There's no way there's nothing inside the drawers
Hamada, let's start from you
What?
Seriously?
This year's top batter is Hamada
How about starting from the top?
There are times when it gets scary
True, there's probably a pattern there. Quite traumatic
Ahh, there's stuff inside!!
Look, there's something in there right off the bat
Looks like some kind of ancient paper
Mysterious ancient manuscript and key
Whoa, whoa
What, what?
Seems it's only this paper and there's something written on it
What's this?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After opening the wall of heroes with the antique key
and proving your brave spirit via the devil's mouth
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you
The keyhole lies beneath the Goddess statue
It's using rather difficult expressions
"Strong golden fortune"...
I think that's it
Hamada-san...
-----------
Goddess statue
Oh!
Is that it?
"A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you"
What does that mean?
"A strong golden fortune will come to dwell"...
Huh? It's this one right?
Yes
Whaaaa!!
Urgh, it's scary!!
Scary
It's scary
Huh?
The Mouth of Truth
That's a "Mouth of Truth"
"Prove your brave spirit via the devil's mouth. A strong golden fortune will come to dwell within you"
It's "your brave spirit"!!
Oh! You're supposed to put your hand inside that?
Yeah
So that's how it is
Scary!
However, only Hamada can do it
Yes
That's right
What!! Why is this first?
Scary, scary...
A strong golden fortune will dwell within you
What if I get an electric shock or something like that...?
I don't think there will be such childish tricks
like electric shocks given this elaborate set-up
Really?
Yeah
You just have to do it
Right, you just have to do it
Ahh... This is scary
It's scary
This is seriously scary
Scary
What should I do!!
Scary, scary
Do you hear a "sa sa sa" kind of sound?
Is it his hand making that sound?
Near the Mouth of Truth
Wah, wah, his hand went in
What's this?
Wait, what's this?
I can feel a liquid flowing
A mysterious liquid is on his hand
Liquid is flowing?
What is this?
Take your hand out
Some kind of liquid?
Something's on my hand but what is it?
Urgh it smells!!
It smells so badly!
It smells!!
Ah, so smelly!!
Really stinky!!
What do you mean by smelly?
It really smells
What? What?
What the hell?
It really is quite smelly
What's that smell?
But Matsumoto-san, we don't know what smell it is
It's certainly smelly though
What's that smell?
It stinks!!
What kind of smell is this?
What's this?
It smells
It's like, well...
It can't be a smell from the crotch area, right?
What is it then?
I think, perhaps, it might be...
Isn't it poop?
Pfft!!
No, I don't think that's right?
But
It's true!
Right, I get it
Yeah
It's "A strong golden fortune" so... It's the smell of poop
T/N: The Japanese word for fortune is "un" while the word for poop is "unko". So this is a play on words.
The smell of poop now dwells on Hamada
Horrible
T-There's poop on that hand right?
I really hate this
What on earth are they doing?
There's poop on Hamada-san's hand
That's a bad way of phrasing things
This is horrible, really
Really
smelly!!
I want to wipe it off, I want to wipe it off...
This is bad. You should go wash it off
It smells!
There's... Um...
Air freshener!!
That's right, there's air freshener
Oh, I see
Once I wipe my hand, spray this
That's...
Spray that hand of his that's holding poop...
I'm not holding poop
What are you doing, spraying so much...
He used the air freshener to drench my hand...
Hamada, it's because you smell of poop
No, no, no
This is the worst
How is it now?
He's sprayed my hand so I'm going to wipe it now
Someone open their drawers next
Whaaat?
This is really messed up
Yeah, it's quite messed up
It was actually poop
Using poop on New Year's eve...
Using tricks like that...
That's a bit much
Shall I go next?
Go on
I'll start opening
Aren't you going to do PERFECT HUMAN?
No, it's fine
Oh?
Hey
Something's gonna appear
Scary
There's something!
Mysterious DVD
It's appeared!
DVD?
A DVD over in Endo's drawers...
Tanaka usually gets the DVDs right?
My drawers only had this
Whaat?
The DVDs always led to Thai Kicks for me but it might happen to Endo this time
9 years in a row, DVDs gave him
Thai Kicks
Hotel
Spy
Airport
Teacher
EDF
Prison
Detective
Scientist
Police
Isn't it better if you do your impression of PERFECT HUMAN?
No, I won't do PERFECT HUMAN
What are we doing about that? Or should we take a look at Tanaka's drawers?
Having DVDs in his drawers isn't impossible
That's right, because that's how it is
Seems complicated
I'll just take a look
I'll open my drawers
Perhaps there will be different things in his drawers
If there's no DVD, that brings up a lot of questions, but if there is a DVD, then that's also...
Ahh!!
It's here
Whoa, whoa!
DVD!
Mysterious DVD
There was a DVD inside
But there's no numbers or anything so
The DVDs are not in order, right?
It doesn't matter which goes first
Right, right
What does it mean?
They might not be related
Whoa!
Huh?!
A letter...
Mysterious envelope
Wow, it's thick
Seems here's quite a number of things inside
Yeah, looks like there's a lot of things inside
Huh? No way!
Oh, there's nothing in here
Why's this empty!!
He just laughed
I didn't laugh!
Every time...
Wait, what are we gonna now?
Yeah, really
That's amazing
What should we do?
Wait, just... What should we do with these, I wonder?
Endo, isn't it better if you do your PERFECT HUMAN -----------------Linebreak----------------------------------------------------- impression now?
For the moment
PERFECT HUMAN...
Seriously, seriously
3 2 1 Go!!
Na ka ta! Na ka ta! Perfect Human!
GHOOIIIS!!
It's weird that I get an "OUT"
I definitely shouldn't be out
Your laugh is different than that
Yes
That's not how I laugh...
That was a permissible laugh
It wasn't a laugh, more like smiling from embarrassment
Shall we go from Endo?
Yes, one by one
Sure
Right
We'll go in order
There will be too many items
Wait, either way
Yeah
There really are a lot
I'm not sure how to break it up
Oooh no
No no no, it's DVD, oh no
Right? It used to be magazines
Right?
Yeah...
I'm scared...
Thai kicks are the worst...
Appearance OK Derby
We had this last year too
Will celebrities dress up and perform for us?
Their reactions will be recorded by hidden cameras
Who will they dress up as!?
T/N: Yancy and Mariconne are comedians who are known for their dancing and guitar-based skits.
Yancy & Mariconne
Here's the bit they'll perform
Ready?
Limbo dance under the guitar challenge
Look
1, 2, 3
Yes
LIMBO!!
That's bad
LIMBO!!
The guitar hit her breasts, so she's mad
T/N: Their skit is a combination of English and Japanese. "Oppai" is Japanese for "boobs" and "pai" is the shortened version. They are not saying, "You touch my pie."
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!!
Will be playing the role of Mariconne
After seeing the rhythmic limbo dance
They'll really do this?
We will have them play the role of Mariconne
Three celebrities have entered the race!
Three celebrities have entered this race!
Who will consent to this performance!?
So, who will consent to this performance?
Who will it be?
Welcome
First up is
Thank you for coming
Thanks for having me
Who?
Thank you
Fumie Hosokawa
Her 1990
Debut
In 1990
She debuted wielding her F-cup bust
F-cup
bust
A big boob idol originator
As an originator of big boob idols
She led the world of gravure
Right right right
The number of times her photos have been published-
Her published photos number over 1 million!
is over 1 million!
Even now, she has an impeccable figure
Fumie Hosokawa's appearance negotiation!
We will negotiate her appearance!
Have you ever worked with Downtown?
Yes, I think so
Looks like she's gotten thinner
What are your thoughts on Hosei?
Hosei is-
Since he was in a duo with Hiromitsu Noriyasu,
Yes yes yes
Fumie remembers very well
Yeah
While he was on the radio for Young Town,
Oh, that's right
While he was on the radio for Young Town,
There was a time he took care of me
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
Eh?
What made you laugh?
The lady beside her...
Watch her
I saw her too
I blocked her so I wouldn't look
You get it
The manager-looking lady?
Yes
Look Here
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
No no no no
No way
I saw it by accident...
That's no good, seriously...
She was probably...
Come on
She was surprised
You don't have to say that!!
Yes, please don't do that
"Why are you laughing?" was your question
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
How many times are we going to watch this?
When I was young, Noriyasu-san was my crush
This
Has nothing to do with anything at all!
Completely unrelated
Unrelated, right?
Well, that's
The focus is wrong!!
Oh come on
Moving on
Now the question we've been wanting to ask
Hosokawa, as an assassin of laughter, would you
Please dress up and perform for us?
I love it! Doing that stuff!!
Cut that out of the frame!!
Cut it out!
No!
Put a paper over that half!!
Cover it with paper
Give me a break already
Why would you even film him?
Just
(The monitor) Cover it with paper, please!!
We don't need to see all of her reactions!
Ahh
It's all Hamada's fault for pointing it out in the first place, if he hadn't we wouldn't be out
That's right
The part you'd be playing is this...
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch 'oob!
No touch 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!
What do you think?
I'm worried about what people will think
Negotiation Complete
That's fair
Hello
Good morning
Our next negotiation is with this person
It's her
Thanks for having me
Mika Ahn
Her Paris Fashion Week debut at 20 years old!
At the age of 20, she had her Paris Fashion Week debut!
Fashion Brand Producer
Producing her own fashion brand
She sells it on her infomercial programs
In a single day her sales are hundreds of millions of yen!
In a single day she sells for hundreds of millions of yen!
The queen of TV shopping
The queen of producing
The queen of TV shopping
The queen of producing
She does what she wants
What's your impression of Downtown?
Well, that's-
Since I can remember, I grew up in Kansai
My hometown was like a sister city to theirs, too
I see
I love them, they're like lovable big brothers
How do you feel about Tsukitei Hosei-san?
Well, uh
I worked with him for a Kansai-based online shopping program
His face was so dang cute
His face was so dang cute, and I like otaku types
T/N: "Otaku" refers to geeky/nerdy people who are very obsessed with a particular hobby. People tend to associate otakus with anime, but it can be any hobby.
He seems like the type to collect all sorts of stuff, right?
Milk caps for instance
At last, the question
This is who you would play
Oh looks cute~
Would you watch this clip once?
Oh okay so
Where will she limbo? Under the guitar?
You touch my 'oob!
LIMBO!
What is this!!
We would like you to just do the dancing, if possible...
Just? Just...
Since I produce many kinds of products
I have to be careful not to affect the product's image
Negotiation Complete
Of course
Our next negotiation is with this person
Thank you for coming
Yes
It's her!
Tomoko Fujita
1988 TV miniseries
Non-chan's Dream
At 23 years old
In 1988
Her amazing debut on the NHK morning drama,
Non-chan's Dream, launched her career
Making It Through
Playing Nagako
Over 20 years
After that, in the national drama
"Making It Through"
That's right
she played the Okakura house's fifth daughter, Nagako
for over 20 years
Since her debut, she's worked in dramas, movies, and theater
Tomoko Fujita's appearance negotiations!
This is the character
Do you know it?
I'm not familiar, I'm sorry
Who's doing it?
The video reveals the joke
She reviews the video
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
That's not limbo though
Really?
This version of the limbo isn't what you expected?
Not at all!!
It's kind of perverted
Since it's perverted, I'm not sure...
I'm not sure...
What to do...
Negotiation Complete
The one taking on the role of Mariconne
Who will it be!?
Endo-san, please tell us who it will be within 5 seconds!
Ah!
That's what it's about
If Endo gets this wrong it'll be trouble
It will be Mika Ahn
Mika Ahn
Wooo yeah yeah yeah yeah!
The correct answer is revealed
Thank you! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!
Yancy
Shinya Matsuura
We are Yancy aaaaannnnnndddd
Mika Ahn
T/N: She's pronouncing her name as "Mikannu" to sound similar with the Japanese pronunciation of Mariconne, which is "Marikonnu".
Oh you were right
I was
Everybody! Do you like limbo?
That's a lot of makeup...
Anmicanne
Mika Ahn
Oh wow
She's really going for it
What happened?
What are you doing?
You touch my 'oob!!
No touch your 'oob!!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
No touch your 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!!
LIMBO!!
Amazing
It's really good actually!!
It's too good
Amazing
Let's try again!
Fumiennu
Fumie Hosokawa
Fumiennu~♥
LIMBO!!
Oh it's like that
NEXT STAGE!!
No, up!!
She called in backup!
No, up!!
She demands he raise the guitar
She jumped and hit her breasts
You touch my 'oob!!
Jumping 'oob!!
'oob!!
Jumping 'oob!!
'oob!!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!
Jumping 'oob!
You touch my 'oob!!
LIMBO!!
Let's try again!
Unexpectedly, they all agreed
Tomoconne
Tomoko Fujita
Next stage
Come on!
My hip boom boom boom
Passing with the hips strategy
Not my 'oob
GOOD IDEA YAAY!!!
So....
Ready 1 2 3 LIMBO
Boom boom boom
Be careful
Boom boom boom boom be careful
Her boobs end up hitting it
You touched my 'oob
You touch my 'oob!
At the end she walked into it with her boobs !!
Rolling 'oob! Rolling 'oob!
You touch 'oob
Rolling 'oob
You touch 'oob
Rolling 'oob
'oob 'oob 'oob
'oob 'oob 'oob 'oob Limbo!
Amazing...
'oob 'oob 'oob
Boing boing boing
Boom boom boom boom
They sure practiced this
'oob 'oob 'oob 'oob boing boing boing boing boom boom boom boom
It was all of them
I don't think anyone would've guessed it right
Not for sure, man...
We've had the Appearance OK Derby since last year
We have, we have
Matsumoto still hasn't checked
Either Tanaka deals with his first or Matsumoto check his drawer
Either Tanaka deals with his first or Matsumoto checks his drawer
How about it?
Shall I open the drawers?
There are two left though
There's nothing inside
There's nothing inside...
Really?
Both?
This one's the last
Then it's got to be that one
Ahh...
Of course, there it is
There's no way there's nothing
There's quite a lot in there
This looks complicated
Yes, it does
It looks kind of difficult doesn't it?
Ugh, what is this?
First off, this
A switch
And then this
Glasses
What is this... Bobbed hair
A bobbed hair wig
A letter
T/N: Hyokkorihan is a comedian whose gag is to do a peek-a-boo style joke where he hides his face behind something to the timing of his song and then reveals his face.
Hyokkorihan Set
This is a funny set that will
allow you to become Hyokkorihan
Ah, you're so lucky
There are 3 options: one time, three times, and seven times
It will not stop until the person using the set will make people within the room laugh.
This is hell
Eh? I have to do this? Me?
Yes
Of course
But if we laugh it'll be over right away
If you skillfully make us snicker
snicker
If you skillfully make us snicker
Because we're allies after all
There isn't a good place to do this though
Yeah
I guess over there is fine
Please make a decision
Facing back and then turning towards us or anything works
I'll do it outside then
Endo can you push the one time button?
Sure. Just the one time?
Yeah, will you push the one time button?
Alright, got it
The first attempt is important
The first attempt is important, yeah?
The freshness
If you're done preparing, just let us know
I'm ready
Here we go!
This is when we should all cooperate together...
Was it really that unfunny?
Maybe it's cause we couldn't really see your face
It would've been better if you'd show off more
Yeah this direction
Understood
Then, I'll do it three times
With just one time I couldn't really get the timing
Yeah, that figures
Yeah, yeah yeah
The face is important, the face
Since it's the same pattern
Okay, here we go
What?
Man, I didn't do anything bad though
You're laughing aren't you
This means I made someone laugh, right?
This is wrong though
No, no, no
What do you mean?
No, we laughed at something else
If we don't laugh during Hyokkori Han, it doesn't count
Is it even possible to get it right?
Should we try seven times?
No, no no
With Hyokkori Han...
Hamada-san, you could do it just by wearing the glasses
I'm not wearing this wig to be like Hyokkori Han
Yeah, but using the door is the correct way, right?
Why do I have to do this, it's Matsumoto's thing isn't it?
It's just seven times
Seven times is impossible though
You just do the Hyokkori face reveal
But I didn't have confidence doing it seven times either
The three times one almost got me though
Oh really?
So you gotta do it right
Sit down, sit down...
What a jerk
Hey, make the noise!!
I was waiting forever!
Seriously, such a jerk
You're right
My bad, my bad
It suits you doesn't it
It so totally suits you
What the hell are you guys doing?
I'm on standby reluctantly
Hey Endo, go and fix up his bowtie
Your bowtie is off
That's right... it's important
That's very important
Okay, it's all good now
But you're starting to really look the part
Wish I could've seen it for the first time in action
It really suited him
What a jerk
Tsk!!
Make the noise!!
The way you came out was just like Hyokkori Han
You're doing the Hyokkori Han
You're doing the real thing
But maybe it's a bit off
But should the DVD go first or the envelope?
This really doesn't feel like a letter
Let's take a look shall we?
Yeah, well of course
If we don't deal with it
This is a bit heavy
There's cards...
What?
Isn't this a tarot card set?
Mysterious cards
Are there instructions?
No, there aren't
Nothing, not even a letter
Then, the DVD!!
Do these go together then?
Yeah cause with just that you can't understand
Yeah, you're right. I don't get this by itself
I can't figure this out, what is this?
From the drawer, these cards!
Tanaka approaches the Thai Kick,
fair and square!
Instead of making it unreasonable, Tanaka will approach the Thai kick, fair and square
Using five cards
this will be a psychological warfare card battle!
These cards taken from the drawer!
Tanaka approaches the Thai Kick,
fair and square!
Instead of making it unreasonable, Tanaka will approach the Thai kick, fair and square
Using five cards
this will be a psychological warfare card battle!
The opponent and Tanaka will wage war with these 5 cards
Within those cards, there are 4 safe cards and 1 out card
There are 4 safe cards and 1 out card, for a total of 5 cards
First, the opponent selects a card, either safe or out
The first to put down a card is the opponent
Keep the card facing down and place it on the field
Then Tanaka follows by selecting a card and placing it on the field
The possible combinations are:
Safe and safe
Safe and out
Out and out
3 possibilities
First, in the case of safe and safe
If both cards are safe
It's a draw
Continuing from there
From the remaining 4 cards, the game continues to the next round
From the remaining cards, the game continues to the next round
Next, if someone puts down an out card, ending in a safe and out card
If one card is an out regardless of who put it down, in that case
This means Tanaka wins
Tanaka's victory!
Thai kick completely avoided!
No Thai kick for Tanaka and the game is over!
But the problem is...
If it's out and out!
If it's an out and out case
This means the opponent wins
The opponent's victory
Tanaka loses
Thai kick is the punishment
And he gets a Thai kick as the punishment
But this is...
The chances are slim
Yeah, they are
The opponent puts the card out first
But only in the case that both use an out card, will there be a Thai kick
Tanaka has the overwhelming advantage
Reading and predicting your opponent's card order
Key Point
Reading the opponent's mind
And predicting when they'll play the out card is the key!
The opponent in this competition is...