Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: Conjyak BabyStand solar Zebestt sonjeigo photodiode ISAKICHI GakiNoSuitGuy Typesetters: Small Carl Adilofax Sacro Dudedafool carebu samsamuel Nigel Amria Textualpoacher kannibleklown Nojiko Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread Ecksdee Elestriel Moocau
The last night of the first year of the Reiwa era
T/N: Japan uses eras based on the emperor's reign. Emperor Akihito abdicated the throne in 2019 for the first time in Japanese history since 1817 to his son, Naruhito. Thus the end of the Heisei era and the beginning of the Reiwa era.
It was a tough school
This person actually appeared
It's rather different from previous years
It's the one which has surprised me the most so far
Fitting for it being the last
Provoked into the depths of suppressed emotions
You made me wait too long!!
The greatest and strongest
This year's No Laughing has the
Assassins of Laughter
The show's greatest and strongest assassins of laughter!
Appearance!!
Unexpected people appear one after another!
This is kinda bad!!
Shocks
one after another!!
Shocks
one after another!!
Shocks
one after another!!
Shocks
one after another!!
Continuous surprises unlike the others in this No Laughing series!
No Laughing...
No laughing...
This year's theme...
Don't you want to join Yoshimoto?
We don't!!
No Laughing Youthful High School
...is Youthful High School!
The forbidden routine unsealed
That forbidden routine is finally unsealed
You guys ain't recording right?
This really toed the line!!
New Segment Escape Game
New segment: the Escape Game from Hell!
Scary punishments
The five are attacked by scary punishments!
Downtown doing a manzai routine for the first time in 30 years
And for some reason, Downtown will do a manzai routine for the first time in 30 years?!
Chono Slap
The customary Chono slap has some big changes!
with Big Changes
I'll give you a chance
I'll take it
Even now during Reiwa era,
Even on Reiwa era's New Year's Eve it's all comedy for 6 hours
We'll make them laugh in this showdown!
This is hell
New Year's Eve Special
Absolutely No Laughing Youthful High School 24 Hours!
Absolutely No Laughing
Youthful
High School 24 Hours
Downtown
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Hamada Masatoshi
Good evening!
Tsukitei Hosei
Good evening!
Everyone, there's that title call but
Cocorico
Endo Shouzou
Tanaka Naoki
It's possible they didn't film anything
No, it was filmed
We might even have to do a press conference to apologize
Something like "We didn't film anything this year!"
We did do it properly, for now
It's aired for 14 consecutive years
The No Laughing series
Broadcast on New Year's for 14 consecutive years
Amazing, right?
It's amazing
Well then, Matsumoto
Do I have to do it this time as well?
All right!
If you please
VTR... Over there, that camera
All right, I'll start. Then, I suppose it can't he-helped! Where do I look?
VTR...
You guys ain't recording right?!
T/N: This is a reference to a scandal regarding comedians who were suspended by Yoshimoto Kogyo. Yoshimoto CEO Okamoto said this phrase when informing them of their suspension as a joke, but it fell flat as they took it to be him exerting pressure on them.
Yes they are
They're recording
No Laughing Youthful High School
The morning of the beginning
The soft light of the sun
announces a challenge to the men
It's freezing...
Poot
You farted, Hamada
Seriously.
It's only been 2 seconds since it started
The sound was like that of a walrus
Seriously
I was being serious
We're so far away, they can't even pick up the sound
That's really not the point
No, no, they can hear it
Sounds like when the parent walrus protects its child
That one's really angry then
Yeah, seriously
"Wait here"
Well, it's the same as always
Right
We'll wait...
No, no. Well, we'll wait but...
We've seen it over a dozen times already
I already feel tired
I just got here, but I'm already tired
Already complaining
It's been a year already. Time sure flies
The field is currently being used for rugby practice
T/N: The 2019 Rugby World Cup was held in Japan where the Japanese National Team surprisingly made it to quarterfinals despite all odds.
Well, well
So this year's rugby...
Right
This year, yeah, they did rugby. It was exciting
It was good
Hey!
Oh... I knew it
Heeey!!
Many things have happened recently
So many things happened I wondered how it would go
You're the person who appeared at the press conference right?
T/N: This is referring to the press conference held by Yoshimoto Kogyo (the company who employs Japan's top comedians, including Downtown) about the suspended comedians over a scandal involving a crime group.
Downtown's former manager
Fujiwara Hiroshi
It was good
We watched it
Everyone, I'm glad you came here this year as well
He didn't touch on it at all
He completely ignored what we said
He won't talk about that
Leaving that aside... Wait a little
I don't think it's something to be left aside
Gather here!!
Gather here!
Fall in line!
The rugby players?
Rugby's pretty popular at the moment
So is he the teacher?
Huh?!
I think he's the coach
Coach?
Everyone, gather here!
Huh?!
Wha- No way?!
They're the real deal!!
T/N: These guys are actual players from the Japanese National Team for rugby.
Wow, amazing!!
No, no... What's this?
Surely there's a more meaningful way to incorporate you guys?!
A gathering of Japan's National Team rugby players
Whoa, this is amazing!
This is so extravagant!
Hey, you guys!!
Do you understand why I'm angry?
This year's... No
I said it wrong
That was wrong?!
Pft!!
This quickly? Honestly...
What the hell...
Do you understand why I'm angry?!
It's not because you lost the match
That "it doesn't matter" attitude...
Huh?
It's because I can't forgive that part of your hearts, you fools
In this year's World Cup
Was it like that?
you did a great job being in the Best 8 for the first time in history
But y'know
This is amazing
They're like idols
In the match against South Africa, your score was 3 to 26
This is taking a long time
Who cares about what you have to say?
Don't you find that frustrating?
We do
Right?
It's started
Then, release your frustration
Amazing
Release your frustration using comedy
What the hell?
Inagaki, come here
He doesn't laugh
Right, that's Mr. Inagaki
T/N: Inagaki has an incredibly serious and stoic expression, so he's known as "The Man Who Doesn't Laugh" in Japan.
Man Who Doesn't Laugh
Inagaki Keita
You're known as 'The Man Who Doesn't Laugh'
I'll test to see if you really don't laugh no matter how funny it gets
Now,
I'll be doing the most awesome joke so
Try to hold in your laughter
Here I go
Cha Cha Mambo Chacha Mambo
Bang Bang
Bang
He's an idiot
That's Kanpei-san
That's Master Kanpei's joke
Bang! Bang! Bang Bang Bang!
Why aren't you laughing?
He must be angry
He must be angry instead
That was the joke and the punchline
I told you not to laugh, but you should've understood that you should've laughed. Enough
You can go back
Thanks...
T/N: The way he said "thanks" was a very informal and shortened way of saying it, like he isn't taking it seriously. Similar to "thx".
He really doesn't laugh
He doesn't laugh...
Yeah
Tanaka, come here
The Small Giant
Tanaka Fumiaki
Oh here he is
I heard
that your wife's a former athlete
And that she's quite beautiful
Yes
You're not being humble at all?
Y-you're on NTV's prime time on New Year's Eve...
He's especially awful today
Oh... What was your wife's name?
This year is really...
It's Tomomi
What the...
Don't forget your lines!
He forgot what he was supposed to say
During NTV's...
prime time on New Year's eve
He's nervous
"Tomomi, I love you!" Let's have you shout that okay?
What the hell?
It won't end until you say that
That's a fairly unreasonable request
Tomomi, I love you!!
Wow, so loudly
She's probably watching
Amazing...
Aren't you embarassed?!
Fine, you may go
He's pretty slow at retorting!!
He was made to say it
He should have retorted more forcefully
Horie, come here
Yes
Captain Dreads
Horie Shouta
You're known for your dreads, Horie
Speaking of the dreads hairstyle, there's another famous person who had it, right? Who is it?
That would be Bob Marley
Wrong!!
The correct answer is...
That guy who was confused about his TV persona in 2017, Ryuchell
T/N: Ryuchell is a TV personality and model
Ryuchell??
He did used to look like that...
You get it, right?
I understand
What the hell does that mean?
Does he really understand?
Let's have you do a Cheru Cheru Beam shall we?
T/N: Cheru Cheru Beam is Ryuchell's signature move.
Cheru Cheru Beam
What?
Your beam's too intense!
"Beam's too intense..." No, it's your fault...
Is it really okay to treat them like this?
What he said
I feel so sorry for them
Now, Fukuoka
Yes
I heard about you
Mr. Scholar Sportsman
Fukuoka Kenki
I hear you're going to retire after the Tokyo Olympics,
enter a medical school, and aim to become a doctor?
Is that true?
Yes
During the World Cup, you gained a valuable experience, and you're smart
You're a superman
Thank you
After you've become a doctor
A tong-twistie about doctors...
I'll teach you a tongue twister
You definitely can't mess it up
Yeah, that's right
He stumbled those words
His explanation...
How can you stumble over "tongue twister"...
It's "A magician is in the art room doing surgery"
T/N: In Japanese, it's pronounced as, "Majutsushi bijutsushitsude shujutsuchuu". That was hard to even type.
Try saying it 3 times in a row
He didn't trip over his words just now
That's gotta be hard
A magician is in the art room doing surgery
Wow, amazing
What are you doing by actually managing to do it?
You're breaking the formula of comedy y'know
It's embarassing
You can go back
How high is his position of authority in comedy supposed to be?
You guys actually dare come here with just that level of comedic ability
Don't you want to join Yoshimoto?
We don't!!
They said it so clearly
Then, us too
Many things have happened at Yoshimoto Kogyo
With just average abilities, it's hard to improve the public's impression of Yoshimoto
Is that really okay?
No, it's not!!
That's right
I see
You guys and your rotten spirit of comedy
I'll beat it into you from the beginning
Starting now, I will punch you guys!!
First up, Matsuda. Come here!
Genius Kicker
Matsuda Rikiya
Yes!
Isn't this going to be problematic?
With my fist, I will beat it into you. Are you ready?
I am!!
All right, here I come
It'll depend on how he reacts
That's totally Ikeno Medaka
T/N: Ikeno Medaka is a veteran comedian who is very short in height. His famous skit is similar to this where he tries to fight someone who is bigger without any results.
All right. Today's totay...
I'll let you off with just that
Wow, really?
What the hell!
They fell!!
T/N: Falling is a standard reaction in Japanese comedy when something silly happens. Often seen in comedy anime.
We're really sorry
That was awful!
You guys sure fell nicely
It starts on Sunday right? You may leave
Rugby Top League
Starts January 12(Sunday)
Thank you very much!
Extravagant
What extravagant guests
It was amazing
Perhaps they practised falling. Their backs are dirty
Did they practice?
They must have
He's really bad today about remembering his lines
Yeah. I agree
How's that... Hosei
Wha?
It was great, wasn't it?
Ahh.. Yes it was great... The National Team was brilliant
Well...
You're wrong!
It's youth! YOUTH!
Well with that
This year's theme is Youthful High School!
Whaat...
Youthful High School?
...High school?
Going back to school...
We're completely...
Going back to where we started
24 Hour High School Lifestyle Challenge
Era of Youthful High School Students
And so, back to the era of Youthful High School as students, they're challenged with 24 hours of the student lifestyle
They use that same photo every single time, don't they?
Isn't that photo just horrible!?
You say you're high schoolers, what are you doing in those clothes?
I just asked that
Over there a change of clothes is waiting for you
Hey, I just asked that
You're so annoying
Prep.. pre... What's with those clothes?!
You're meant to be high schoolers
What is with you?
If we wore high school uniforms from the start it'd be weird, wouldn't it?
Yeah
Well we don't know
Yeah!
Yeah
We don't know
Yeah let's keep going
From now on, high schoolers... YOU GUYS!!
Panic...
Okay that's enough
What were you expecting?
Panic...
It's been a while...
He was really out of his rhythm there
He was, wasn't he
Oh! It's different
Oh you're right
The order?
It'll depend on which way it opens
Yes
Yes, from the way it opens...
Yes, but...
Change of clothes complete
change ofclothes complete
Change of clothes complete
Are you all ready?
I'll have you all to come out in order
Hosei, you first
Oh, Hosei
Aren't you cute?
Thank you
You could easily pass as a real high schooler
You're adorable!
Thanks
Endo, you're next
Very manly, just as I thought
High school girls won't be able to keep themselves away
Thank you!
Alright! Next is Tanaka
Very intelligent, looking very smart
Thank you!
Looking good
Alright, Hamada!
Oh
The same bobbed style wig used every time
Again?
You're right on the borderline of the school regulations
You prepared your own wig again
This isn't mine, you know
"Your own wig..."
It's your own wig if you've come this far with it
It seems like it
It's not
You really should stop
Alright, Matsumoto come on out!
That's super tight
You look like you're about to burst
What is this?
A uniform that emphasizes Matsumoto's muscles
It's a bit tight...
It's gross...
Is... That supposed to be a gakuran?
T/N: Gakuran is the standard uniform for high school boys which is styled after Western clothing. It is usually a long sleeved black uniform with large buttons and a high collar.
It's so gross...
Is it that bad?
It's skin-tight, looks like a wetsuit
It's not a stretchy fabric
What is this?
It looks so hard to move in...
You want to show off your muscles that much?
It was there so I put it on...
Oh so it's like that?
What is this?
Ok so everyone's ready
No laughing rules
During school life,
you must not laugh
The rules are simple: While you live out your school life, you must not laugh. That is all
There's a bus station over there
So let's go to school, shall we?
There's no hats this time
Getting closer to the start, tensions rise
Let's wait here
It's here, the bus is here
It's so bright...
It's here...
It's here
Prefectural... Heipo...
...Omamegaoka?
It's so plain every year
Yes it is, like...
Omamegaoka High School
Let's get on
This umm... Ok?
Heipo Omamegaoka High School
This is the school we're going to
This bus that depicts the founding school principal,
Heipo
Heading to Omamegaoka High School
Let's all just get on the bus together
This year
One person alone getting on, in many ways, it doesn't feel right
Ok then, let's all get on
Here we go
Absolutely No Laughing Youthful High School 24 Hours
Nope
What?
No! No!
No! No one was riding!
You got on it!
You rode it!
You were riding!
This is too much!
I even got on for you guys
I even rode it for a second for you guys
No, not in this underwear!!
Yeah
That'd really hurt...
Advance!
Why did that happen?
If they laugh, their butts will get smacked
If you ride it, you've already started
Yeah...
So if we ride it, we've already started...
Right now only you have started
I said let's ride the bus together
Fine,
You don't need to wait there!!
I really hate the fact that he thinks there's going to be another chance
He's in camouflage and yet he's so visible
Let's just get on
Ok, ok
He's laughing! He's laughing!
He's so laughing!
You were so laughing
I was not
He laughed just then
He was totally laughing just now
He was so laughing
Hurry get on the bus. Look
Well I already laughed so...
Shall we get on?
I will get on
Alright
Everyone START
Departing for school, what lies ahead!?
Well at least the weather was really great
Yes, it's very nice
It's the kind of day you'd take a picture for a pamphlet
The first act is this unexpected person!!
Super famous person
I wanted to meet under normal circumstances!
The first act is this unexpected person
Arrival at the bus station
Arrival atthe busstation
Arrival at the bus station
Hi
Mysterious Man
Kotoge Eiji
From now I'm going to take part in the bus joke, but
But the joke is a bit too aggressive
It's frankly scary
By the way,
Do you know what kind of joke this is?
Hamada?
Well, you're holding the film clapper
So something about a drama or movie?
...Drama or movie. Matsumoto?
Well...
Maybe a variety show?
Ok variety
Well actually, in fact,
Ze... Director Muranishi's...
Director Muranishi's works
Topic this year! Joke about Director Muranishi being too aggressive
T/N: Director Toru Muranishi is an infamous Japanese adult video director. He is known as "the dirtiest of the industry's dirty old men" and "Emperor of Porn".
Kotoge's Anxiety
It became quite the topic this year,
But the joke was a bit too much...
Wait, will this be ok?
I know, I'm worried too, but
But because there's someone who wants to do it no matter what,
would you be willing to watch it?
Ok come on in!
Thank you for waiting!!
I may have made you wait too long
NO WAY!!
Seriously!?
Director Muranishi is unexpectedly played by Tsuyoshi Kusanagi
T/N: Tsuyoshi Kusanagi was one of the members of one of the most famous Japanese boy bands, SMAP. They disbanded in 2016 due to leaving the Johnny & Associates agency, but the members still remain active in the media.
Kotoge's Anxiety #2
This one was really surprising
It's too weird
Too soon!
You're an idiot!!
I have come back to Nippon TV!
T/N: Nippon TV is the broadcasting station that Gaki no Tsukai is on.
I didn't think you could!
You have such a great expression
Very nice, very nice
It's been a while, having this kind of reunion
Why do I have to get hit for this?!
Long time reunion, but only has underwear on
Kotoge's Anxiety #3
That was rough, wasn't it?
Don't say, "Nice!"
Isn't this television?
Isn't this over the air television?
Oh, it's you, Macchan! Oh, it's you, Hama-chan
It's been so long, having this kind of...
I wanted to meet normally
No, this isn't it!
Ah, this atmosphere is nostalgic
Man...
So sudden
You're the one creating this atmosphere
It would have been better if we could meet normally...
Very very nice
I want to bring out everyone's raw instinct, and store it in this camera...
You thought it'd be an actor advertising their new drama didn't you?
Well, like, we had no idea...
Yeah, we thought it might be Yamada or someone like that
T/N: There's too many people named Yamada, so I'm not sure which one he's referring to. Possibly Yamada Yuuki?
I'm Tsuyoshi Muranishi
T/N: Tsuyoshi is the first name of the SMAP member, Muranishi is the last name of the porn director.
I said I wish we could've met normally
Can you stop?
Getting too into it
Kotoge's Anxiety #4
I'm saying it would have been better if this was more normal
It says "Kotoge's Anxiety" on there
Such a great expression
Can you stop?
It's too aggressive
No, it's interesting
This... This is what he wanted to do
It's my first time on TV for a while, and I'm really nervous
I'm going around in circles, but it'd be great if you could kindly watch
ACTION!
Please...
This is crazy
Yeah, now you just say those things, you're just saying them with no hesitations
Too straight with his intentions
Kotoge's Anxiety #5
Yeah it just kind of comes out, right?
Action!
No, not action, man
If you come on too strong, no one is going to react at all
You're being too aggressive, I've been telling you, man
When it's time to be dominant, I have to dominate
I told you: the one thing you can't do is come out here naked, man!
Have you forgotten that obnoxious thing you did
all those years ago?
Do you regret nothing?
I regret that
I might regret that TOO much
T/N: Kusanagi was arrested in 2009 for public indecency. He held a press conference to apologize and prosecutors decided to not indict.
Doesn't really seem like it
Come on
He makes everything a joke
Kotoge's Anxiety #6
Uh...
Amazing, he'll even say that
So, up till a few years ago
You were in a competing time slot, it seems
Is it really okay for you to do something this dumb?
I'm here to fight
Is my verdict fair? Or is it unfair?
I want to judge it as Red or White
T/N: The "judge it as red or white" was supposed to be "judge as black or white" in English, meaning to settle a matter. However, in Japanese, "red and white" is "Kouhaku" which is the name of the Batsu's rival New Year's Eve TV special that SMAP has repeatedly hosted.
White or Black, you mean
GIVE IT UP ALREADY!
They're a good combination!
The timing is great
Nice~
You aren't looking nice~ yet
No, this is not nice~
2019 was nice, too~
T/N: 2019 is a reference to Director Muranishi getting a semi-autobiographical series "The Naked Director" on Netflix.
Nice nice, director
Should we use that thing that
Director Muranishi is known for most?
Let's do it! Very nice~
Director Muranishi's Legendary Conch
T/N: Muranishi had actresses blow into a conch shell when they reach climax. It apparently is a reference to some Buddhist rituals.
Use this, use this
Isn't it great?
From now on I'd like you to use those to verify some things
I want to gape wide open the true nature of you two comedians
Now I'm going to ask some questions
Twice for a yes
Just once if it's a no
Please blow those conch shells
Answer the director 2 for YES 1 for NO
All right?
You, with the jeans that I really like
Answer honestly, did you think you'd never
be involved with me ever again?
Q. You didn't think you'd ever be involved with me ever again
Oh that's so lonely, but nice!
That's so human, so human!
Let's have this one go
This comedian
So, which are you? Team Kusanagi? Team Nakai?
Q. Are you Team Kusanagi or Team Nakai?
T/N: Kusanagi and Nakai are both members of SMAP. Nakai has been one of the more popular members due to always hosting shows, being a newscaster, etc.
Which is it?
If you're Team Kusanagi, blow twice
Blow once for Team Nakai
What the hell?
What?
Answer the director 2 for Team Kusanagi 1 for Team Nakai
What the?
The hell?
What is this?
Twice for Kusanagi
Once for Nakai
Blow the conch, please!
Let's go
That's really hard, though!
Please blow the conch
Macchan
Macchan?
Good! Nice! Nice!
I don't get it!
I didn't get it earlier, either, because I'm not on either team
So why would you ask about my team, right?
I'm not on any damn team...
But why?
I don't have one
Try blowing it one more time
Why?
Answer the director 2 for Team Kusanagi 1 for Team Nakai
Q. Are you Team Kusanagi or Team Nakai?
Blow it harder!
Nakai?
You like Nakai?
Very good very good VERY GOOD
That's nice! That's nice!
That's nice!
Calm yourself down already, man, making him go pipipipi like that
This whole segment is probably going to be unusable...
Shouldn't you spend your time more on asking about
Director Muranishi's specialties?
You're right, I was too caught up in the moment
Ask some normal questions, would you?
Director Muranishi thrusts his specialties
So Hamachan... Hamachan, I'll bet
Do you like old clothes?
Well, maybe, I don't hate them
You always wear Levi 501XX, do you not?
Well, I own some
You used to wear bigger ones but lately they're tighter...
Oh, oh really?
He could tell the difference, wow
I wish I could pull off old clothes
Oh, I see
I've been thinking of changing my stylist-
What's with these garbage questions!?
What kind of backwater hick would care!?
Oh me too?
Now Macchan
Please, ask him an appropriate question
I could go for something more appropriate...
That's too far, isn't it?
During your private time, what do you like to do?
Sorry, I know it's cliché
But go to the gym and stuff
Do you ever go out drinking?
I go out a bit
Do you go out with Nakai-kun?
He asked again
Generally, I go out with him twice a month or so...
Oh really?
Do you talk about me or anything like that?
I wouldn't say that we don't...
Do you ever talk about Atarashii Chizu with Nakai-kun?
T/N: Atarashii Chizu is a band compromised of some of the previous members of SMAP: Goro Inagaki, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, and Shingo Katori. Nakai and Kimura (the two most popular members) are not in the band.
Not that I remember
Do you talk about Goro-chan? Do you talk about Shingo-chan?
You're being too aggressive again...
Not really...
Does he ever talk about being a presenter or anything?
Honestly we don't really
You're being too aggressive, Director...
Talk about that stuff
Oh really? That's great
Yeah it's great...
When will you see him next?
We haven't planned anything specific...
Nothing specific, huh? Really.
What do you think about Atarashii Chizu?
This asshole never stops!
TV is the best!!
Internet streaming is good, but broadcast TV is really great, right?
I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other again soon
That's good, okay, that's plenty
2019 was great
We get it
Let's have another great year
Yes, let's
He had a huge impact
Kusanagi came back this year
No way
I was surprised
He did something amazing
They have been on the bus for 15 minutes
Somehow, this is starting off amazingly
Right?
I'm beat already
Me too
Already these 5 can't conceal their exhaustion
will never relent
The deluge of laughter assassins
I'm so jealous of Hosei
What?
You look like you could fall asleep anywhere
I slept
But I only got about 6 hours...
Arrival at the bus station
Arrival atthe busstation
Arrival at the bus station
Help me!
Osada Shouhei
T/N: The detective and hostage are actually comedians of the duo, Chocolate Planet.
Detective
Hostage
Matsuo Shun
I'll shoot, asshole!
Hey! Stop!
We have you surrounded
A masked man took a hostage and hijacked the bus
Give yourself up quietly!
We already know who you are, and we're taking you in!
You know it all, big guy?
If you already know
Then I won't
Need this
Kamiki Ryunosuke
Masked Man
Calm down!
I'll freaking shoot him
Calm down! Stop that right now!
Put your hands up
Okay
Put your hands up
Calm down!
Put your hands up
Put your hands up!
I get it- I GET IT!
Put your hands up!
I'm putting them up!
Put your hands up!
Okay, look, I'm raising them
Putyourhandsup!
Good?
Put your hands up!
Is this okay?
Put them up!
They're up!
PUT 'EM UP!!
THEY'RE UP!
Put them up!
They're already up, damn it!
They're way up
Kamiki doesn't listen at all
You're bad
He has them up
You're bad by every definition of the word
They're already raised
Hey, can you contact your headquarters?
Call up the station and have them prepare a getaway car for me!
What are you saying, I can't!
Call them!
I can't!
Call them!
I'll shoot! Call them!
FINE I GET IT
HQ? HQ!
Call them
No, call them!
I am!
Call them!
I AM!
Call them!
HQ!?
Call them!
CALL THEM!!
Even the way you fight, ugh
He is calling them, stay calm
Call them!
I am, so just-
Just call them!
We need a getaway car
Callthem- CALL THEM!
I am right now!
Call them!
A getaway car!
I told you, I'm calling them!
Jeez
Shut up...
"Please prepare a getaway car." There, I told them!!
Hey, what's that strapped to your back?
It's a pistol, isn't it? Give me the pistol!
What are you saying, I can't!
Give it to me!
I get it, I get it!
I'll shoot! Give it to me! Give it to me!
Stay calm, I understand
Give me the pistol!
Give me the pistol
I got it
Give me the pistol
Is this okay? Huh?
Give me the pistol
Give me the pistol!
Look!
GIVE ME THE P I S T O L !
Look, here!
Give me the pistol!
Here!
Give me the pistol!
TAKE IT!
Give me the pistol!
HOLD IT!
Give it to me!
I'm giving it to you!
Give it to me!
Take it already!
Give it to me!
What is he doing?!
You aren't doing anything either... Pissing me off
He pisses me off
Hey! GRASP IT!
Give it to me now!
Give it me!
I ALREADY GAVE IT TO YOU!
Give it to me now
You already have it!
Please, help me! I'll do anything!!
Anything?
I'll give you a chance, but just one
If you can make these 5 guys laugh
I'll release you
Terms for Hostage Release
Make all 5 men laugh
Do it
I can't
Do it, asshole!
I can't make them laugh
Do it!
I'll shoot you, do it!
Fine, I'll do it
Yeah, do it!
Do it!
I'll do it
So... My impression of Sakagami Shinobu...
T/N: Sakagami Shinobu is a famous tarento, essayist, film director, TV presenter, singer, and actor. He started out as a child actor at the age of 3.
Do it!
Ahhh well, you see
Do it!
I'm doing it!
I am doing it!
Do it!
Didn't you see me starting?
Well just do it already
I am!
Do it!
I am doing it!
Ahhh well, you see, when you do it like this-
You all have to ride along and get slapped, right?
I think that's power harassment y'know?
Well, next is the problem of the day
T/N: Japanese news stations have talk show segments where a panel of people express their opinions on the topic they're reporting on. They will usually very quickly change to the next topic without any transition.
Do it!
I ALREADY DID!
I was doing it, these are the damned results!
Do it!
I already did!
Do it!
That's enough!
What?
Detective!
Cut it out!
If you can do better, do it!
Detective!
Stop, I can't!
Help me, please!
You get it right? This situation is hopeless!!
Detective!
It's hopeless!
You going to do it?
Help!
You're completely hopeless!
Please!
Do it! Do it! Do iiiit! DO IT!
Why did you suddenly become such a moron?
Himuro Ky- I'm doing it, asshole!
Do it!
Himuro Kyosuke playing rock-paper-scissors
T/N: Himuro Kyosuke is a former singer/songwriter. He is one of the best-selling artists of Japan.
First comes ANGEL~ Rock, paper KISS ME!
KISS ME
There!
He got me point-blank
It was pretty funny, though
What does "First comes angel" even mean?
They laughed, right? So, let him go now!
I want more!
What? That's plenty!
Do it! Get going!
Fine
Do something!
Fine, I get it
Do something!
Okay!
Do something!
Okay
Do something!
Do something already!
WE'RE GOING TO!
Do something!
A lickity-skit: "The Fight"
T/N: The lickity-skit or "rero-rero skit" is a skit based on the act of licking. This is a regular skit for Chocolate Planet.
Hey!
What?
Why did you turn down Miyuki?
That's none of your business
The hell it isn't my business!
Stay in your lane!
LIIIIICKY LICKY LICKY LIIIIICKY
Of course, y'know? If I could've not laughed...
If you could...
It'd be good if I could! Sorry, my bad
The hell was that?
This is hell. Come on, let's leave!!
YOU BASTARD!
I get it, just please arrest me already!
I'm arresting you!
Arrest me!
Okay, I'm coming!
Arrest me!
I arrested you!!
Arrest me!
I already did
Arrest me! Take me away!
You're under arrest and I'm taking you in!
We should have left after the impressions!!
That was rough
That was so troublesome
Right? So troublesome
What was that "licky licky" thing...
He's been doing that for a long time
That pisses me off
The bus drives onward to high school