Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie BabyStand Shion Kenny Shizentaisuu Carley G. EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: papi's bolgy-wolgy-yummy-cummies Sacro pencillover12 carebu kannibleklown Nigel Spencer Hamilton Textualpoacher Vladimir Krasiy tommysenarii Elestriel Andrew Grice Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread
If you did it 5 times in a row, what would that be like?
5 times would be like
Something like that, I think
But you wouldn't have to do it 5 times anyway
Yeah, that doesn't happen
If you did it 20 times in a row
I really wonder what would happen?
That would be amazing, really
...Like that, right?
T/N: He's referring to Beat Takeshi (comedian, actor, film director) who has facial spasms due to an accident.
Partway through, you turned into Takeshi-san
If you were going to turn into anyone, he was a good choice
Why don't you try becoming him? (Beat Takeshi)
Midway through, become more like him
Increasingly Takeshi Challenge
That would probably be good - 10 times
And at the very end, you completely turn into Beat Takeshi
If you can make it all the way you could tour the country!!
Tour the country...?
Okay, I'll do it
You're already him, from the very start, though!!
Too fast!!
Really?
Ooooh yeah, you were way too fast
Yeah, you need to start as Endo- be more like Endo
What? But I wasn't being Takeshi just now
I was just saying "aah" like normal
No you weren't
So I need to start lower?
Increasingly Takeshi Challenge Do-Over
I think so
That's good
That was really good
What's wrong Endo?
What's wrong Endo, what's wrong?
My back...
During Absolutely Don't Get Caught they got his back
His back, huh?
They got his back bad
That's right
If they hurt his back that bad
we can't play with Endo anymore
No, no, it was a coincidence
Honestly, I kind of stiffened up
Coincidentally?
Yeah, I'm fine, I just stiffened up
Hey guys
Right now, in this very building
A world famous illusionist is doing
his big escape show, it seems
Since you're Treasure Hunters,
having some skills in escaping may be of some use to you
They will studiously observe the
world famous illusionist's big escape show!!
The five hurry to the show location
When suddenly
Everyone, could you wait here a moment?
That parade song echoes down the hall
Electrical parade?
What? Parade?
I've heard this song before...
Yeah, Electrical Parade
Again??
He's covered in lights
Robo-Ototake's 2nd Appearance!!
Come on, Ototake...
Why don't you go home already!!
The little ones are following him
Amazing
He's too into it, it's creeping me out
Oh they're so small!
Oh, what now?
That's amazing~
That's amazing
Why's this (power cable) so long?
That power cable is super long
A super long lighting cable
That's crazy long
Staff
Stop!!
Ototake-san
She said "Ototake-san, stop!!"
I heard that
Stop! Stop!
You guys are lucky, for sure.
That only happens once a month
This laboratory's specialty
Ototakelectrical Parade!!
Oh really...
Pretty lucky
He really wanted to be on that bad?
It creeps me out
Illusion Chamber
Take a seat
It's just us?
Escape Show
The special program's extravagant set
I thought there would be others here
Amazing...
Wow
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
A new era of showmanship is about to begin!
Welcome to an exciting evening
Ralph Suzuki
Presenter
Everyone gathered here tonight,
You all will soon
Become witnesses to a historical moment
The man that continues to perform miracles around the world
Today, a great new escape will be revealed
And now
Without further delay
Let's call in the man himself
Hyper Escape Illusionist
David Kawashima will now appear!!
T/N: Gekidan Hitori is a comedian who often appears in the Batsu.
Gekidan Hitori
David Kawashima
He just looks Chinese!
His face is dripping with confidence
Mr. David Kawashima welcome to Japan
It's an era-defining escape, how are you feeling right now?
That's right, thank you all...
He can speak Japanese!!
He's speaking Japanese
Japanese...
for coming to witness this miracle
With a smile, I hope I'll see you all again soon
And with that, we won't make you wait any longer
Showtime is starting!!
His face pisses me off
He's got the right fighting spirit
He can't make a mistake, no matter what...
Now, I will explain the escape process
First, both of David Kawashima's ankles
Will be fastened together
He must release himself
Underwater Escape Show
Both legs are fastened with padlocks
From the 2 padlocks on his legs
This is for real...
Next, David Kawashima
Has both hands fastened with weights
To escape these weights,
Underwater Escape Show
Each hand has 10kg attached with padlocks
T/N: 10kg is 22 pounds.
He will have to remove both padlocks
Wait, that's...
Wow, David Kawashima is amazing
The 4 keys are collected
Now, the keys will all be thrown into the water
Underwater Escape Show
The 4 keys are thrown in the water
Now
They have been thrown in
Now, David Kawashima
With the 4 padlocks in place,
enters standby
That seems to be pretty heavy
I think he looks determined
Turning to face his historic escape, he begins climbing the stairs
He moves heavily
You can hear the heft of his weights
His face is different than before
You can feel the tension in the air
You're right
And for the climax of this amazing escape
The lid will be closed on David Kawashima
And he will be chained in with another lock
Underwater Escape Show
The lid will be locked and the key thrown inside
With this key also thrown in
To summarize
First, David Kawashima will open 4 locks underwater
The David Kawashima Challenge
Remove the 4 padlocks on his arms and legs
Finally, using this hole which fits only one arm
Use the hole to open the 5th padlock
Lid Hole
He will extend his arm
He will unlock the chained padlock, and escape
5th padlock
Meeting the challenge of a historic illusion!
This is an amazing illusion
Everyone note,
You can confirm his actions from the camera installed above as well
Overhead Camera
And with that
Over there?
Yeah
Mr. David Kawashima, please enter the water
He's all the way in
Seriously?
Wow...
He's filling up
That's filled to the brim...
Yeah, it's perfectly filled
The preparations are all complete
Mr. David Kawashima, have you prepared yourself?
Understood
His face pisses me off...
Shouldn't he speak up a little more?
Right?
Well then, let's continue!
David Kawashima's
Era-defining
Underwater Escape Illusion countdown!
Underwater Escape Start!!
We have started, so now the lid is closed
Wow, he's doing it
And locked up with chains
The padlock has now been secured
And the key has been thrown in
And in that time, suddenly-
David Kawashima is on... his left wrist?
Is that his right wrist?
First is his right ankle
He's really calm, huh
How are we doing?
It's open
Slow and steady
You got this!!
Right, if he rushes it will be even worse
Next is his left wrist
But it's already been 30 seconds
Now, at 30 seconds
That's amazing!!
Can he do it?
Can you do it, David?
Did he get enough air?
Does he have enough breath?
Amazing
Does he have enough air left?
Let's go David!
That's incredible, though
His right wrist now, and it's off!
OK!
Wow
Now, now with the last of his breath- the last lock
Up up
The last lock
You're almost there, almost there David!
He can't reach!
He forgot the key, so
He dropped the key!!
This is bad, he's stuck!
David what's wrong?
BLACKOUT!!
That's dangerous
This is really dangerous
Is he alright?
ARE YOU OKAY? HANG IN THERE!
You can pretty much tell!!
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
David is so stupid, seriously...
Get a hold of yourself!
What the hell...
He's an idiot if I ever saw one...
Plan this out ahead of time!
The padlock was too far from his reach!
He was doing well until then
I thought he could do it...
Well now
Right?
He did his best
That was incredible
That's right
I thought he could reach
That was great
That was great, really
Overhead Camera
He seems so lonely from behind
You guys don't know-
if something went wrong or not, though...
It's like he let his first turtle go free
It looked like he was struck by calamity
His back, yeah
But
He's probably embarrassed, too...
Yeah, that's probably true
7:00 PM - Their next assignment is given to them
I have bad news everyone!!
Though she disappeared off the face of the earth for a while,
a legendary spirit medium has returned
So, let's go
To see into the hearts of the Treasure Hunters,
the legendary spirit medium is consulted
A spirit medium
In here
Hall of the spirit medium
Oh wow
Everyone, please hurry inside
She will be here any moment, so please hurry
Butler
Kendo Kobayashi
Everyone please pay close attention
"She"?
As she enters, we ask that you
refrain from being rude, please
Legendary Spirit Medium
Rola
Hosei loves Rola, huh?
That's right
Hold on
I can't help but get a bad feeling from this...
It's kind of scary
Please, be seated
She's got a really dumb grin on her face
That spells trouble
Seriously?
The Zero-Tension Spirit Medium
She's not tense at all
Right?
This is
The legendary spirit medium, Mistress Rola
Mistress Rola, please share your wisdom with these men
The spirit medium's gracious wisdom
Aha!
We didn't ask for this
I'm begging you
Hang on!
Rola, I'm begging you- do this seriously
Today... Ah! Uh-uh
Today, Treasure HunTERS WILL
There's no way
This is impossible
She can't!
This is totally hopeless
The Spirit Medium That Can't Stop Laughing
Let's just keep going, okay?
First, let's start with
Hosei's fortune, please
Spirit Power #1
Seeing a Treasure Hunter's true nature
I have seen it
Hosei, what is your last name, again?
It's Tsukitei
I see
Why is "Tsukitei" what you call yourself?
As Master Happo's student, Tsukitei was the name I was given
Asster Happo's student?
What does that mean?
Asster Happo's student, that is?
Everyone
Mistress Rola can also cleanse people of malicious spirits
Yes
Mistress Rola, please look
Spirit Power #2
Detecting malicious spirit possessions
I understand
This person is possessed, right
Is that what you felt?
You felt that
Well then, Mistress Rola- If it's possessing Matsumoto, please cleanse the spirit
Spirit Power #3
Matsumoto's Evil Spirit Cleansing
Please
Cue Card
Health and Abandonment
"Health and Longevity", isn't it?
Body and Soul
All through creation, we pray for affection
Pray for harmony
Even on a watery-conscious level
Subconscious level
She got them all wrong!!
It's written down, too...
Can she not read?
She got it all wrong
Hot hot hot
Ah- Wait a minute, I feel a strong spirit
This person!!
You have a strong spirit haunting you
Really?
Tanaka has a spell chanted to cleanse his curse
Spirit Power #4
Hamusutora-nu
Namureho-ri-
Donkoroji-no?
Colorado, Mississippi
Insi~de a mountain
She said "Insi~de a mountain"
Was that Japanese?
Insi~de a mountain
8:00 PM, 12 hours have passed
A venue where treasure hunters from all over the world gather
This bar is where they'll gather information about treasure
They go to collect information about treasure
At a bar where treasure hunters from around the world gather
Welcome
Bar
Wow, this is done so well
It's pretty nice
Up we go
So, everyone
Do your best to gather information about treasure please
Well...
I don't really get it
If we don't do anything, maybe we can leave
I wonder...
The temperature difference is intense
Bar Owner
Tomochika
This weather is unusual
"What am I going to wear?" they said
"A suit? A dress? A kimono?"
I'm very picky about this!!
THUMP
"With this here" I said
The construction hasn't been finished at all!
I called up Takenaka-
"It doesn't go thump, you know?" I said
"What thump?"
They've already laughed, but please enjoy watching for now
I told him, but he didn't pass it on
This is pretty handy here
"Thank you, Takenaka" I said
You get it, right?
Yuri-chan, we have customers
Yes!
Make sure you bring some alcohol
Bar Hostess
Yuriyan Retriever
T/N: Yuriyan Retriever is a Japanese comedian whose humor is to be really awkward and say odd things in English.
Good evening- excuse me
She's been here 3 months
I had just dropped out of college
If you hadn't found me...
By now I'd be a stray cat
Better than a thieving cat
T/N: In Japanese, "thieving cat" also means homewrecker.
You're the thieving cat!
I'm a Persian cat
This is annoying
I'm eating nuts, even though it's winter
T/N: Nuts are pronounced "nattsu". The word for summer is "natsu". So eating nuts in the winter/nuts aren't just for summer is a play-on-words.
It's not just for summer, like I say
That's silly~
Yuri-chan
Where did Takahashi go?
She's always playing hooky
Takahashi!!
Sorry it took me so long to get ready!
Bar Hostess
Takahashi Maryjun
T/N: Maryjun Takashi is a half Japanese, half Filipina model and actress.
Could you not take so long?
Good evening
You know- Rather than remembering your job
It seems like you only remember to play with boys, huh?
That's not true, is it?
No
Yuri-chan, you know that, don't say such things
You say that but I don't know
Hey you, I'm telling you
Yuri-chan, why don't you tell us something good about yourself?
Something good about me?
There aren't any...
Just try
Compared to others, your sitting height is tall
Please don't talk about my sitting height
Takahashi, try sitting down over there
Okay
Takahashi is good looking in every way
She's good on the inside, and she's tall
How about you both kneel
Your sitting height is so high~
The height difference is 20 cm
You don't even need to put on takageta,
T/N: Geta are a traditional Japanese sandals. Takageta are geta that are tall, kind of like platform shoes.
For you, the tall-sitting journey is possible
Listen, you can almost hear the bells and taiko drums
Ting Tong Shang, right?
A tall-sitter is passing through
Everyone in town, everyone in the village- gather round!
What are they saying?
Everyone in town, gather round~
If the mountain smiles, the grandchildren will turn around. Traditions continue
You're almost crying
If the mountain smiles, the grandchildren will turn around. Traditions continue
Does this actually exist? This kind of folk song...
By the time the goldfish jumps out of their bowl
The town will change color, the shamisen strums
T/N: The shamisen is a three-stringed traditional Japanese instrument.
Aahh, I'm so glad I'm alive
Enough of this...
Let's embark a journey on sitting heights
Now Takahashi, go walk with no accompanying music
Take a candle with your hand like a drumstick
Do we really have to stay here?
And hit the drum with it, like a drumstick
Bam, bam, just like that!
T/N: These lines don't really mean much, they're just words to sing to encourage the festival atmosphere.
Dorai yo do
Yottora yotto
Oparaaa~
Oparaaa~ bam bam bam!! Takahashi!!
Wait wait wait
Opara, oh, opara
I do not have a passport with me
What the hell is this...
Is it still okay if I don't have it with me?
I'll throw all my clothes away
And I will answer your desire
Come on...
Alright, here's my turn now
Yodorano yodora, don, don, don!
What world view is this?
She likes this
She really likes this stuff
And now it's time for my climax
But I'm surrounded by enemies on all sides
I'm never coming back to this shop
I agree
I'm a fugitive now, I'll never show you my face
Please have Takahashi wear that
Maybe if Takahashi is going to wear it
Her character might change a bit
Maybe I'll become an obscene woman...
Touch your own body with your hands, your bodyline
Come on, take a look, look at me
The hell are you saying?
Boobs, boobs
Don't make her do lewd stuff
Right and left, right and left, left and right
Come on, that's dirty
He's right
East, west, east, west, south, north, east, west, north, south
Stick up your butt now and bam bam
Bam bam bam
Yuri-chan, bam! Yuri-chan, bam!
Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam baam!
Let's stop this
Come on
Let's go back to the breasts once more
Titty-rain-shower!! Go!
Stop that, geez
We just fired a big firework
Are we done yet?
Rub your breasts, grip your breasts
Please just go away
East, west, south, north, northnorthnorth
Please go away
Takahashi, Takahashi, keep on doing it
How long is this taking? Just go
Takahashi?
They all got away, Takahashi
You're free to go
They got away
You can go
Takahashi
How long are you going to be doing that?
She's going now
Yeah
That's good news
Wha-?
Are you kidding me?
Come on
It was so long
Way too long
We had enough
What the hell? I mean
Not a single treasure hunter has come yet
Right
I hope Fujiwara will come here soon
Really, I had enough
Right
We all had enough
This isn't really treasure hunter-ish
Welcome
Can we sit?
Of course
We'll take the usual then
Ok, got it
Treasure Hunters Nao Hashimoto Kazuhiro Unagi Abe Kouji Gin-Shari
T/N: Gin-Shari are a manzai comedic trio.
Man, I'm beat up
Yeah, for real
Yeah...
The situation is pretty tough
There's not a single spot left
Treasure Hunter Yuichi Kimura
T/N: Yuichi Kimura is a comedian, actor, TV script writer, and columnist.
They dug everything out
Sorry I'm late
Good evening
Kept you waiting?
We knew you would come
Doesn't seem like we'll retire any soon, huh?
The treasure hunters are facing hard times
Yeah, what can we do?
We just run out of luck
Yeah but
The research group of a guy I know recently went to Africa
And managed to dig up so much gold, he made a fortune worth his lifetime
Oh man
Speaking of making a fortune... The Japanese comedian Hitoshi Matsumoto too...
I heard he made an unbelievable fortune
Well, if we're talking about him, he made a fortune cause he earned it, you know
Kimura-san, do you happen to know Matsumoto-san, by chance?
Well, kind of, yes
Can I ask you a question?
What is it?
He once wrote in one of his books "a comedian must not work out"
But now, he's so muscular, isn't he? What do you think that means?
I don't think that working out is something bad, you know
Yeah, but in his book...
We all read it
You mean "Will", his book? He's just joking around, come on
Asahi Press "Will" by Matsumoto Hitoshi
"Will" / Hitoshi Matsumoto (1994)
Oh, I see
Yeah, but he also said
"If a comedian dyes his hair, he'll stain himself." That's also part of the book he wrote
In "Will", yes?
But isn't he excessively blonde right now...?
What does that mean, you think?
I think that the whole "stain" thing is just a concept, you know
Some believe that people who dye their hair blonde have stained themselves
But that doesn't mean blonde = stain
It's between the lines
The lines..?
Yeah, something in between
You think Matsumoto is stained right now?
No, I don't think so
"I'm going to retire by the time I'm 40." That's written in his book too
"Will", right?
But isn't he 55 by now?
What does it mean?
It's "Will", you know, it's as if he's planning to die, you know
He wrote that thinking "I could die at any time"
He was 9 years away from his 40s, that's why he thought that
But now he's 55, so maybe he'll postpone (his retirement) to his 60s and so on, like this
I have a question about Hamada...
Why is Hamada always wearing a pair of sunglasses?
How would I know?
There's a difference in interest
I knew he was gonna say it
He knows only about me
I'm his favorite topic
Even people who aren't Hamada...
Not Hamada, though
About Hamada, again...
When they press him to do his recording, why does he get so angry about it?
I don't know man, ask him yourself
He's brutal
Yeah, why?
He's so different when it comes to Matsumoto-san
He really likes him
So different when it's about Matsumoto-san
That's impressive
You should just ask him
Doesn't he really care?
I'm positive he doesn't hate him
Yeah, no way
He doesn't
Back on Matsumoto-san again... back when he used to do"Gottsu ee Kanji" and so
His personality was more prickly
But now especially with younger comedians, he's always joking around or such
He speaks with no formalities too
What do you think that means?
He's been a kind person from the beginning...
What with these feelings?
He's getting emotional
That's no good
All the way down his roots, he's a kind person
Back from when he did Gottsu?
I personally never thought of him as a prickly person
The staff often said to him like
"You seem to be in good spirits today" or such
"He's always like this!" - that's what I always thought
He's not the kind of person who works based on mood, after all
2 years after my comedy debut, during the last act of a show
I was replying to him without much thought
He snorted in a laughter
And asked me "How long have you been doing this?"
I said "It's been 2 years"
He said "Your answers are good enough if you're on your second year"
"But there's no way you're fine with 'good enough'"
I thought he was expecting so much from me
He always treated you well, didn't he?
What kind of segment is this?!
Memo about his memories with Matsumoto
Is this a note about your memories with him?
That's right
You even wrote down Mr. Hitoshi, huh...
"The origin of kindness"
Oh, that's the title?
He even wrote down "Brother's!" in here
This...
I don't really want to read this
Of course you don't
He's serious about it
You can tell it
He's really serious about this
He's getting emotional for real
Yeah
He's conveying his feelings so well
Feels like this isn't a business anymore
It's been 13 hours since the start, the 5 of them are covered in wounds
And finally Hosei's arch-enemy will make his appearance!!
14 hours since their work started
Our five heroes are so exhausted they barely even talk, but...
A big event will shake the research institute! The greatest discovery of this century!
You ok?
Announce
State of emergency! The cursed mummy of the Hipopo tribe has been found!
The cursed mummy of the Hipopo tribe has been found!
Everyone in this facility, please gather in the auditorium at once!!
Oh, the mummy which was stolen
Guys
The Hipopo tribe's mummy was...
The cursed mummy seems to have been found!!
Let's move from here
Yessir!!
Huhu...
State of emergency
Cursed mummy was found - to the auditorium!!
Let's go
You just laughed there
I saw you