Team Gaki Presents
Team Leader: Rich Translators: BakaDollie BabyStand Shion Kenny Shizentaisuu Carley G. EcksDee Solarwings Typesetters: Li'l Carl Sacro pencillover12 carebu kannibleklown Nigel Spencer Hamilton Textualpoacher Vladimir Krasiy tommysenarii Elestriel Andrew Grice Caleb Barrett Karaoke: Konohana Niji Translation Check: Oolong Quality Checkers: John Dread
Welp
Here we go
They get on the bus to go to the special training
For the 5, a new battle's curtains open
For the five comedians
The curtains open on a new battle
However
This is great weather
The ride to the training center is treacherous!!
The journey is difficult
Of course, it couldn't be a simple trip
Is that it?
We've stopped...
What now?
Arrived at a bus stop
We've stopped, huh
We've stopped
Here we go... Oh, it's pretty empty
High School Girl
Ryuji Akiyama
It's so unreliable.
Yesterday, it was completely packed around this time
Oh, but she's so slow
Hey, hurry up! The bus is going to leave soon!
Sorry, I'm here now, sorry
High School Girl
Hana Sugisaki
T/N: Hana Sugisaki is an actress who debuted in films/shows like the live-action version of Bleach, Boys Over Flowers 2, and more.
Sorry
You barely made it
Sorry
But...
Hana, are you nervous?
Of course I am!
Today is what we've been dreaming of-
The Amagasaki opera company auditions, right?
Right?
Of course you're nervous~
Uh-huh
Speaking of which, should we practice for our audition?
The high school girls' dream
Auditioning for the Amagasaki opera company
Can we?
The Amagasaki audition is different than normal groups
They don't ask you any questions, see
The things you're asked are already pre-determined
In order, you say...
your seat number
① Seat number
then your name
② Name
then your birthplace
③ Birthplace
then your hobby
④ Hobby
then your favorite food
⑤ Favorite food
your favorite phrase
⑥ Favorite phrase
then your favorite movie
⑦ Favorite movie
These questions are already determined so you just answer them
So, you start okay?
"Next entry, please!"
YES!!
Seat Number
Name
Birthplace
Hobby
Favorite Food
Favorite Phrase
Favorite Movie
That really shocked me
Seat 25!
SUGISAKI HANA!
TOKYO CITY!
MUSIC APPRECIATION!
CASTELLA SPONGE CAKE!
T/N: Castella is a cake brought to Japan from Portugal in the 16th century. The recipe has changed quite a bit from its original Portuguese form to the Japanese cake it is today.
A JOURNEY OF 1,000 MILES BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP!
THE WIZARD OF OZ!
I can't remember all that
I don't remember
That's good, but more...
The second part was a little too serious
Really...
Waitwaitwait
You try once
Next entry please
Seat Number
Name
Birthplace
Hobby
Favorite Food
Favorite Phrase
Favorite Movie
YES!!
SEAT 28!
AKINOYAMA SHIRAGIKU!
T/N: His actual name is Akiyama Ryuuji, but since he's acting as a female student at an elite arts high school, he has taken on a very extravagant and effeminate name.
FUKUOKA PREFECTURE!
ELECTRIC BATH!
T/N: Electric bath meaning a bath with a weak electric current. Apparently, it's used for health reasons, but it's not scientifically proven.
STRING CHEESE!
CLIFFHANGER!
T/N: Cliffhanger is a 1993 Sylvester Stallone movie.
Cliffhanger?
Who the hell actually liked Cliffhanger??
I'm not remembering this
What was his hobby?
Electric bath
You try, like I did
"Next entry, please!"
YES!!
Seat Number
Name
Birthplace
Hobby
Favorite Food
Favorite Phrase
Favorite Movie
SEAT 25!
SUGISAKI HANA!
TOKYO CITY!
T/N: NON STYLE is a comedy duo who won the 2008 M-1 Grand Prix (a competition for new comedians).
WAITING TO AMBUSH NON STYLE
KIDS HAMBURGER MEAL!
IT'S YA BOI!
RAMBO 2!
Stallone, huh
Yeah, that's him
That's so old!
Another Stallone movie...
Stallone is their favorite I guess
Do you think that will impress them?
Yeah
I like it, but
When I think about it, the first half was a little too serious
They really like Stallone
I think that was probably pretty good
It was definitely better that time
What's most important, of course
You have time to perform freely, so what do you do?
Amagasaki opera company audition
Performing freely is most important
Yeah, I know
Will you be okay with that?
Well, I've been thinking I'd play-
A Hollywood actress winning an academy award
A Hollywood actress winning an academy award?
I don't really get it, but
Do you want to practice?
Could I?
I'll be the interviewer
Got it
That pisses me off
What the hell
Hana Sugisaki's Free Performance
Yuriyan Retriever's award ceremony bit
T/N: Yuriyan Retriever is a comedian who does skits where she acts as an English speaking woman who is too full of emotions to properly speak and ends up saying awkward things.
She's doing Yuriyan?
That's totally Yuriyan
My favorite movie is "Back to the Future"
I'll just say it
Tanaka's casual outfits are so tacky
No matter what Hosei tries in his rakugo, doesn't make me laugh
That's right! That's right
Even though Endo is a dumbass who lost a fortune on Bitcoin
I did not lose that much
"Even though he's a dumbass"
She's talking shit...
Lately Hamada always has a grain of rice stuck on his sleeve
He has for a while now
Matsumoto always gets in a bad mood when the air is too dry
So bad
Amazing
Yeah!
Great job
I think that will work pretty well
How the hell would it?
Your Hollywood actress-
was a pretty good impression
What did you come up with?
So for my performance, uh, well
I think that it all comes down to facial expressions
So I want to show off my faces
How would you do that?
Let me show you
Oh, okay
The "I really want to say something" expression
Say it already!
Come on
Does this kind of person exist?
Just talk already, jeez...
That's right
Just let the words out
Yeah, I do see those expressions
Good, right?
That was a bad one!
Everyone in the audition room will all be watching, so...
Hana, you should have an act that relies on facial expressions.
You should keep one in your repertoire
Facial expression...
So, like
The face you make when you get home-
and there's a random corpse on the floor?
Ah, that's a great scene
Hana Sugisaki's expression performance
When she got home, there was a corpse
So right in front of you here
You just saw a corpse
So, go ahead and show us
Is that okay?
Let's see
NOOOOOOOOO!!
Awesome
The way she switched that on was great
That was funny
Didn't expect that
That was really good, wow
Oh boy what a twist
That really got me good
That was no good
You said it
Oh I see
She just flipped the switch and went right in
What is this?
NOOOOOO!!
She's still going!
She kept going...
Yeah...
That's amazing
Yeah
Huh?
What?
This face is covered in so many wrinkles
A pug?
IT'S A DEMON PUG-MAN ISN'T IT!!
Why?
Stop, he's just a normal person
You can't do that to normal people
You can't be so forceful with their faces
Excuse us
He's a normal person
Yes, I'm so sorry
That performance was too realistic,
I'm so sorry
I went too real
Don't do that stuff during the audition!
You can't go and start a fight with people
T/N: It's labeled as "Gaki no Tsukai News" on the bottom right, but this is an actual commercials that advertise for a movie that Hana Sugisaki acts in and has nothing to do with Gaki or the Batsu. Sorry. In case you're interested, the movie is "12 Suicidal Teens".
Training grounds arrival
The bus transporting the 5 comedians
Arrives at its destination - the training center
Omame Archaeological Institute
Ohhhh look at that
Hostage Rescue Training Center
THE CURTAINS OPEN ON A FIERCE BATTLE
With those Black Oni
The curtains open on a heroic battle
This is... Wow
Training Center Grounds
Ugh
Ack ack ack
It's sopping wet
Why here?
It's muddy as heck
Oh... No no no NO NOOO!
Due to yesterday's rain
conditions are awful
This is the worst
That was bad
There's something huge in there
Wait really?
Everybody good?
Now, the hostage rescue training will commence
Yes
You can laugh, but,
Hostage Rescue Training Rules
During training laughing is OK
But if a Black Oni catches you you'll receive a harsh punishment
I don't get it
Also, if we do this with just these members,
that old man smell
you guys are spreading around will get to unbearable levels
A world-famous young man has-
come to help
World-famous?
Go ahead!
This guy's got some stamina!
That's right
Boxing World Champion
Inoue Naoya
He really is built
Glad he came!
Amazing!
Boxing three-weight world champion Inoue Naoya
While boxing at WBSS, the pinnacle of the boxing world,
He scored a KO in 70 seconds
He fights as a Japanese national treasure
Should you really be here?
Well, I told my manager,
I want to be on this show
But now isn't really the time to be doing this
Oh
This year's hostage will be Matsumoto
Ah yes, of course that's right
Nothing has changed at all!
That's true
At the beginning multiple Black Oni will appear
As time passes, they will multiply
To escape the Oni's punishments
Escape from the punishments
They set out to find the key to rescue Matsumoto
Absolutely Don't Get Caught
Treasure Hunters
And now it begins - Absolutely Don't Get Caught Treasure Hunters!
Ok, here we go
I'll never get used to this
Training START
That was exhausting...
Training Begins
Wait, we were still talking
Such incompetence
Sandal
Wow, they're fast
Be careful, be careful
Locked on to Inoue
He's going for it!
That's gonna hurt
He came out of nowhere
Ahahaha ahahaha
You sound so happy
That's fine, better than one of us getting it
I agree
Woooah incredible
Matsumoto spectates from his perch
It wasn't that elevated
HA! Hahahahaha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
That's...
It's okay - This is your baptism
How did it feel? Taking that hit?
Good, good
How did it feel? Taking that hit?
That hurt and they were so fast
They're fast
They really are
Very fast
That was good though
Yeah, all of a sudden
That's wonderful
That's how it goes
The second Oni has appeared
What?
Something's coming
What does it say?
Megaphone
It's coming! It's coming it's coming
Hamada, clinging to Tanaka's arm
What? What are you doing?
Come on
No waaaaay! Hey!!
Are you okay?
You
Tanaka again?
That's not it
He used me as a meatshield!
Meatshield?
Meatshield
He used a person as a shield
I wouldn't do that...
Shield for each other
I thought we would run together but I just got caught
When the Megaphone came out, I ran
Suddenly, I felt my arm being grabbed
By whom?
It was Hamada-san!!
Would you please not do that this year?
Your body is that of a champion,
Yeah
You have a solid build
Well yes, of course
Let's use him as a shield!
No no no
Let's not
That's no good
It'll be really bad for us if something goes wrong
The third Oni has appeared
Oh no oh no oh no oh no
What's written there?
Leathers, Leathers
Leathers
T/N: It actually says, "Riders". In Japanese, that means a racing jacket, such as a leather motorcycle jacket.
Wait, hold on
This is bad
What are you doing with this?
Leathers, Leathers huh
What does Leathers mean? What is it?
This is pretty bad
I'm glad mine wasn't that bad
That was quite the sound
That was really bad. Seriously.
Shouldn't we be treasure hunting? For the key!!
That's right, the key
Shouldn't we be treasure hunting? For the key!!
We should find the key
Shall we look?
What is this?
Yes, let's
10 minutes of training have passed, releasing Oni
Even more Oni have appeared
Searching the building
It's not here, huh
Is it not here?
I don't think so
Yeah
I can laugh, right?
Uwaaa!
I really don't want
It's no good!
What is this?
The champion got caught
This is his baptism
This is the one I didn't want to catch me the most
Dick Machine
The Dick Machine right?
It's the champion
Hahahahaha
This isn't the kind of champion I want to see
Really
Yeah
I'm glad it's not me
This is evil
This is super scary
This is really scary
I've never seen a champion do something like this
That's right, this kind of champ-
Let's give a countdown
Please do
Oh we're going
3
2
1
Go!
Wait wait
That has to hurt
That hit him at the base
That hurts
Hang on
Champion?
That's a low blow... A low blow...
Suddenly he's down for the count
That was pretty bad
The hardest part hit me
Give it a minute
Hahahaha
You were down for the count, huh
He was definitely down
For a second
Since Matsumoto is stuck in there
We should tell him we don't have the key yet
Good point
Let's go
Matsumoto-san, we don't have the key
We don't have it
Give me a break with this "we don't have it"
Sorry we don't have the key!
We don't
He's saying we should go home
An unnoticed Oni
He's saying we should go home, since we don't have the key
That's good, that's good
Everyone?
Yeah
Yeah, let's go, let's go
That's no good
"Everyone" being us
Sorry
Yes
The Oni is ignored
Without me?
That's why we asked
I didn't notice him either
The Oni is perplexed
What's with this guy?
We don't have the key, though
We can't help
You aren't thinking, you're just running in circles
Then you stand there and give up
He's running, he's running!
There, ah there it is
Wait a minute
When? When did he?
He was the only one that noticed, but stayed quiet
He saw him there first
You just discretely ran away
That's an awful setup
He stepped on my foot when he started running
Hosei stepping on the champion's foot
This is the worst
Top Star
What is "Top Star"?
Top Star?
Top Star
Right
He is such a dirty player
Are you alright now?
I'm fine
What? Hang on...
What what what what
Ugh that scared me... Geez... Again, they're coming in...
TKO Kinoshita
I really hate this
Another one came
I've come to give you a quiz
Oh, is that so?
Tell me these people's names, please
This person...
I know this, it's uh... Tom Hanks!
Yeah
I know this, it's uh... Tom Hanks!
Tom Hanks
I got that one really quickly
I have to write it?
Yes
There, Tom Hanks
Who is-
this person?
I know this...
Look
Right? Uh...
Waaah Hang on
He was in "Speed", right!!
Yes yes yes
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
It's coming to him
Look
Matsumoto's recalling "Speed" is slow
Oh wait just- I'm sorry- hold on
Get it right
This is irritating
Who is this person?
That one... I totally don't remember
He's been in commercials, right?
But of course I don't remember-
HIS NAMEEEE!
Who is this person?
Oh that's! Uhhhh...
That's
From "Back to the Future", right?
It's uh...
These names aren't coming to him at all
Hey!
This is awful
Hey!
He does that every time
Who the hell is that? This is pissing me off
This is cruel
Who is this person?
Oh that's whatshisface isn't it?
Uhh... Uhh...
Hehehehe
He isn't get any of these
Matsumoto only answers with "look" and "that's"
None of them
Um...
This is great
He was
From "Titanic"... It's?
He knows that one, he just can't find the name
That's right
I wonder if I can do this
Oh, like when you blank on a test
Ah! I've got it!
Keanu Reeves
Tom Hanks
(Ki) Keanu Reeves
If you take the first 2 letters-
of each of their names-
you will decipher the code
Good luck~
TO, KI. TO, KI
T/N: Keanu in Japanese is spelled "Kianu", so it's "Ki".
I see, so
I might be able to do this based on the two I know
Searching the building
What about where we were before?
Probably back there-
Leathers
It's Leathers!
Come on come on come on
I thought so!
This one is so painful. Leathers really hurt
Crap! Crap! Crap! No, I can't do this!
Hold on
You look scared
Right?
I give up
It really hurts
That's gonna hurt
Yeah, it's gonna hurt
You got a two-fer!
It looks like he's saying "I'm sorry!"
He hit, he hit your head on the way back
It was like he was saying, "I'm sorry"
The unfortunate Tanaka
Ow, that hurt so bad
What a nice guy
That was so bad
He's that guy, uh...
AH!! I remember!
There, Michael J. Fox
T/N: In Japanese, his name is spelled, "Maikeru" so it starts with a "Ma".
(Ma)
Michael J. Fox
Right?
You got it!
I told you
Why's this guy not coming to me though
They call him "something-sama" right?
Yep
I got something weird stuck in my head
I'm mixing him up with Yon-sama
That's it
It's like Yon-sama is covering him up
T/N: Yon-sama is the Japanese nickname for Bae Yong-joon, a very famous Korean drama actor.
Oh so "Re" is the last one?
Matsumoto fails to remember Leo-sama
Yon-sama
I'm being serious here
How about we all check the second floor again?
I think you're right
Right?
The Top Star!
After this, the Top Star appears!!
There he is at last!
How about we all check the second floor again?
I think you're right
Right?
The Top Star!
A Top Star is born!
There he is at last!
Top Star?
I totally forgot about this
He really is a Top Star!
I am no Top Star!
I forgot this!
Woah, he's even got a bell attached
He finally showed up
Let's just run away together
All this will get in the way
What do you mean in the way? Help me!
It's a bother, no no
Impossible, we can't move together
Hold up, this...
The Top Star!
I'm begging you all!
Nope
Nuisance
That bell's ringing is gonna give us away
Do your best!
That's right
That's true, isn't it?
Could you look around for us? This way?
You say search...
Let's look together
Don't treat me differently!
I'm not anything special!
He's definitely special
Most definitely
A Top Star walking as if he is on a runway
Just let him say whatever
Let's head to the second floor
Alright
You're beautiful, Hosei-san
Oh you're right
Those feathers really are big
The light-
Oh wow the stairs really fit him right now
Could you? From the top?
Huh?
Feels like he wouldn't lose to the real thing
That scene really fits, eh?
Oh wow, cool!
Wow!
The stunning and extravagant Top Star
He's not even looking down at his feet
He didn't even watch his step
He kept looking straight!
Seriously, without looking down once!
Look!
Saying that does make me kinda happy
Cool!
Twenty minutes since the exercise started
The amount of Oni has been increased
Once more the number of Oni increases further
Monster
Ah, the monster
You're blocking!
He was definitely blocking
Yep, the Top Star
What? Me?
The monster?
Here's the monster
The photogenic and handsome Top Star
What's that?
I'm safe!
There's more coming
Eh?!
No way no way!
They keep coming
There's so many!
No
A bunch more of the Monsters came
What's all this?!
It's a whole herd!
The hell? I hate this!
Oh man that's scary
Ouch
It hurts?
What are they doing?
This is scary
What does "monster" mean here?
Monster-san
You're done?
Waaaaah!
The monster!
This is the monster right here!
The monster!
I ain't no monster, I tell ya'
This is definitely the monster
How 'bout y'all try it
Hosei-san, help
His face is swollen!
His teeth are sticking out!
He's got a beast's teeth, this guy!
A true monster is born
Is that the monster?
Agh, ouch!
Leave us be, monster!
Wait!!
It's me, Hama-chan
Hama-chan
YOU LIE!
That's just a monster!
No way that's Hama-chan!
That's a monster!
"You lie!"
This is the worst...
Oi!!
Not again...
Don't let the Oni near me! Protect the Top Star!
I understand
Excuse us
The Star that hates all monsters
That's right
There's monsters and Top Stars all around
He's really enjoying it
He said "Don't let the monster near the Top Star"
So you mind just leaving this place?
Yes, it's just...
I know he said that, but I'm the one suffering here
I thought we were partners
He even said "Don't let the monster near"
Hasn't he forgotten the plan here?
He's desperately defending the setting
Well yeah, but even the Top Star idea is weird
The setting here, they're really going all out
So I told the monster, but
Why the hell, man, we're partners!
What's with this attitude
QUIET, FOUL BEAST
YOU MONSTER!!
That guy is really pissing me off
It'd be great if he gets caught and then completely beaten up
Did it start with "pa"?
Still not there yet?
AH!! I remember!
There it is
Out of the blue, eh?
T/N: When Japanese is converted to English letters, all the L's get converted to R.
(Re)
Leonardo DiCaprio
It's Leonardo DiCaprio!
Ah
But see, I remembered
Ah
Awesome!
It's Leo-sama!
Yon-sama
Leo-sama finally came to Matsumoto
Ah I got it!
So...
Tom Hanks
(Ki) Keanu Reeves
(Ma) Michael J. Fox
(Re) Leonardo DiCaprio
TO
KI
?
MA
RE
Ah, found it!
Ah!
There it is!
They've found a treasure chest at last
Come on!
Let's go!
Get the code to open this box by asking Matsumoto
You can get the code by asking Matsumoto!
Huh?
We can phone him up?
Ah, it's like that
We can probably ask him via this phone
Ah I see
To-ki...
Oh Jesus that scared me
Yes?
Matsumoto-san? Is there a code there you can give us?
Yes
Matsumoto-san? Is there a code there you can give us?
There is, there is!
Tom Hanks
(Ki) Keanu Reeves
(Ma) Michael J. Fox
(Re) Leonardo DiCaprio
To-ki... I don't know the next, but
To-ki, blank, ma-re
To-ki-NGH-ma-re
Toki tomare? (Stop time)
"Stop time"!! I think!
It opened!
We got it, we got it!
They got the right answer by coincidence
Thank God!
However!
There was no key, the box was empty
Their efforts were in vain
The treasure chest was empty - a swing and miss
Three of them head towards the training grounds
Moving forward, three headed to the field
Two of them went to search the first floor
Tanaka and Inoue search the inside of the building
The broadcasting room
Oh, there's a box!
Ah, there it is!
There was a box right there!
This one doesn't need a key neither, so...
Open it up, can you do that?
What is this...
Hm?
Wait, what's this?
Huh?
There's a letter
Substitute Doll If an Oni catches you, give them this doll, and say a member's name. That member will then take your place instead
I see, I see
We hit the jackpot!
This is great
The two are happy to receive tools from the devil
This is great!
This is great!!
Moreover, there's two!!
There are! Shall we go?
Before that, I just got a bit of an idea...
There's a certain person I'd like to mention here
Hm...
It's Hamada-san
Ah, that's the one I thought, too
Without hesitation they go straight for Hamada
I was thinking Hamada-san
Can we both say Hamada-san here?
Right, we need to hide these
Should put them away
Keep this a secret
This must be a secret
I had no idea about this
Right?
Matsumoto-san?
Hah?
You're leaving lots of feathers behind
I, uh-
Do they come off that easily?
The Top Star is still as cool as usual!
Nothing in the exercise area!
Nothing?
What about the first floor?
Nothing on our end
Nothing
The hell...
There was nothing!
Definitely nothing on the first floor!
These guys are evil
Megaphone
Yep, he's locked on!
Hamada
Please go for Hamada
Go for Hamada
So that's why??
Huh? Wait what?
I see, I thought that was a bit weird
Wait a second
Why?
Weren't you supposed to go for Tanaka?
Are you alright, Hamada-san?
This is supposed to be for Tanaka!!
That made no sense
You alright?
Ouch
That hurts, that hurts
This is weird
Seriously, what happened?
I thought I heard you a bit
Tanaka . . . Tanaka got locked on, right?
How was it?
Don't "how was it" me, why didn't you get it
Don't know, I also thought I got caught
The Oni turned around, and ran the other way
Huh? That's weird!
But still, you got caught!
Hold up a second
I'm so sorry
The wind...
The wind?
The Star that got blown away by the wind
Really?
Be more careful, please
This is the worst
This is hell
This guy is dirty!
I'm sorry that it happened
Leathers
We didn't notice him at all
Wait, hold up
There we go
Wait a second
Hamada-san
They got him
They just caught him
Oi!! Why the hell!!
I said why the hell!
They just keep going after Hamada-san
I even said "OK"
Why?!
Hamada-san!
Wai-
Wait!!
Naoya! You got caught!
Hamada-san!
He stopped!
He stopped
Why me!
Yep, they caught Hamada-san
Naoya you...
You got caught!!
That pisses me off
Yeah, that does piss me off too
AHHHHH OUCH!!
That one was bad!
Great hit!
That one hit the spot
That one must have hurt
Wind
Hosei-san!
"Wind, wind wind!"
Oh what is even going on
Hosei, this is my bit!
The Star calmly stole away the leading role
We have an emergency
We need some help here
Yama-chan...
Let's bring him closer to Hamada-san
Bring him here!